Status: This is an EXTREMELY slow story, so please bear with me!
Anarchy
Gone
Adriyll had been searching the village for the better part of the day for Yuki and Jeremy. She couldn’t find him, and while she knew that Jeremy was always at a distance, Adriyll was starting to get the feeling something had gone wrong. Even the sentries couldn’t help her, turning their heads when she asked for Jeremy. She, however, had received specific directions to Yuki’s whereabouts.
Adriyll walked forward, towards a house that seemed to tower over her, knocking on the door. A man opened it, looking down at her with pale brown eyes. “What is it child? Are you lost?” Adriyll immediately noticed his ears and tail, and fumbled for words as he watched her.
“I-I was loo-looking for my fri-friend Yuki...” She mumbled, taking a step back. “Bu-but, if you haven’t se-seen her, that’s okay.” Adriyll recalled that Umren said that, or something along those lines repeatedly for different situations.
“Yuki? Yuki.. Oh! You mean Rymothyia!”
“Is that her re-real name?”
“It is... wait, she didn’t tell you?”
Adriyll shook her head. “I don’t th-think she would’ve to-told me either.” He frowned at her comment, but shook it off as she looked around. “Is she ar-around here some-somewhere?” She asked, motioning to the interior of the home.
The man frowned and shook his head, and took her hand into his. “I think I may be able to find her, though. Did you try asking a sentry first?” He asked, starting to walk with her to the front of the house. “Usually they can find people faster than I can.”
“I did, but they told me to come here.” Adriyll responded, still looking around them. Adriyll was starting to feel a trickle of fear for Yuki; perhaps she had gotten herself into trouble again.
Although she always made it out, it was always with injuries. “Can you shift forms?”
“Huh? Oh, I can. Where did you learn about shifting?”
“Yuki did it once.”
“When was that?” He asked, his eyes scanning the landscape around the pair. Turning, he scooped Adriyll into his arms and walked past his home. Adriyll let out a surprised squeak, clinging to his arms for dear life as he walked. “I won’t drop you, you can relax.”
“We-well,” Adriyll’s stuttering had made it even harder to speak to him, but she managed to pull herself together for a brief moment, “she was tal-talking to Jeremy a-and she to-told him something, the-then s-she ran and ju-jumped, an-and in her place w-was a wo-wolf running in the dis-distance.” Adriyll gave a small squeak when he shifted her, clinging even tighter to his arm.
“I see... Rymothyia, you know, if you want to get away from everyone, dangling your tail isn’t exactly the best way to go about it.” He remarked, looking at the black tail hanging from a branch.
A sigh followed his remark, and a second later Yuki swung down, landing in a crouch and glaring at the two as she got up. "What is it? I was in the middle of something." Yuki noticed Adriyll in Mesir’s arms, and gave a strained and brief smile. "Hello, Adriyll. How was your walk around the village?"
“I-it was ok-okay...” Adriyll mumbled before being let down from his arms, scurrying to hug her before turning to him. “Th-thank you..?”
“Call me Mesir.” He smiled kindly, before he walked away from the two to give them time for themselves.
Yuki gave a small wave and patted Adriyll’s head as she watched him walk away, but pulled the young girl off of her after a long second. “I’ve got things to do, I’m sure Umren and Styn need you at the moment. I heard they were going to start cooking.” Yuki said, raising an eyebrow at herself and then frowning. “No, they’re going to start cooking in a hour or two. Whoops. I must be forgetting things more easily than normal today.” She gave a fake smile to Adriyll, who frowned and crossed her arms.
“Where’s Jeremy?” Adriyll asked, tapping her foot as Yuki kept silent.
“Jeremy.. went on a trip for a while. He’ll be back in a while.”
“You’re lying.”
Yuki raised an eyebrow at Adriyll, her gaze turning cold. “Lying? That’s a powerful statement. What do you know of lies?” Yuki growled back, taking a few steps back and leaning against the tree she dropped from. “You’re only eight, Adriyll. You’ve much to learn about lies.”
Adriyll gave a small growl before stomping her foot. “And you’re acting as if lies are your answer! I’m not stupid! I can pick up on things, like you can!”
"Then you'll know that I've done everything for your and Jeremy's protection, that I've almost died on that boat for you. Go back to Styn and Umren, I'm sure you can help there." She replied coldly, her gaze locking with Adriyll's. Yuki turned and swiftly made her way up the tree, ignoring Adriyll’s angry cries and poorly made insults, letting them roll off her back. If she wanted to be angry, that was fine. Not everything revolves around you, Adriyll. She thought coldly as she continued to climb the tree.
When Yuki got to her original spot, Adriyll had decided to go to her house in search of Umren and Styn, and she was fine with that. I’m just going to enjoy the forest, this forest I haven’t been in years. But as much as she tried, the forest wasn’t keeping her attention long enough for Jeremy to fade from her mind. Whenever she thought of him, her heart ached, her chest hurt and throat threatened to close up. He was only a stupid traveler. Nothing will compare to what happened all those years ago, when... Yuki shook her head, stopping herself.
Bu then a small voice in her mind whispered something to her; Is the source of your aching because he was like your father?
Never, she argued with herself, no one can fill that space.
But despite all that, she still longed for her father, who was long gone, never to come back again.
-----
It had only been half an hour since he had slipped out of the village. Although that didn’t seem like a very long time, Jeremy had already put considerable distance between himself and village; certainly not a distance one would expect of a human. However, the presence of something following him had caused him to slow down until he came to a complete stop.
“You there, in the shadows. How long do you plan on following me?” He called out, his body tense.
A small rustle, and something with the appearance beautiful woman appeared from the foliage at Jeremy’s left.
The woman was small, about four feet eleven, but had an ethereal glow to her that made her stand out in the shadows and seem taller than she actually was. Her short, wavy pale blue hair stood in contrast to her darker skin tone, her pale purple eyes gazing at Jeremy intently. She seemed to hover above the ground, her footsteps causing small rings of ice crystals to surround her feet. She wore a simple yet elegant one shouldered dress, the pale blue fabric flowing around her like water.
Normally, Jeremy wouldn’t have bothered to slow down. But there was something strange he had felt from the presence, making him overly wary. And most of all, it was the fact that the presence was completely abnormal. Despite looking entirely like a normal being, whatever it was, it was neither human nor hybrid.
“Young traveler, you are indeed a strange one. To have caught my curiosity in such a manner, I applaud you.” It said softly, it’s voice almost like a song. “But do you truly wish to leave them behind? Do you truly wish to become such a lonely wanderer?” It tilted its head to the side slightly, staring at Jeremy silently as another unasked question filled the silence: Is this what you really want?
Jeremy could sense a hint of sadness in her voice, but he was far too distracted by something else to bother with it.
“You…” he grounded out, slowly and cautiously. Taking a step back away from whatever that thing was, he slightly lowered his body. “You have power on the level of a deity. A goddess, perhaps? Why would someone as powerful as you appear before an insignificant mortal like me?”
It seemed genuinely surprised. “My,” it said, “despite my efforts to disguise myself it seems I was already found out. Yes, you are right; I am the goddess Ykina.”
Jeremy paused when he heard the goddess’s name; it took him a few moments to realize where he had heard it from, and when he did he groaned. “I see, so that’s how it is. This is petty revenge for when Yuki asked me to help her for ‘the love of Ykina’, and I replied by saying that I didn’t care for your love, isn’t it.”
“What? No, I do not hold a grudge against you for that, young traveler, although that was when I had first began to take interest in you. Do not fear me, young traveler, for I mean you no harm.”
“Then pray tell, Goddess. Why have you appeared before someone as insignificant as I, one who can not fathom the meaning behind your actions?” Jeremy asked her, laying it on a little thick. Although he now knew for sure that she was a goddess, and that his actions were much more polite than before, it was still far from the grovelling most would have done the moment they realize they were in the presence of a deity.
Indeed, it was a strange action for a mortal being to take. Polite and respectful without surrendering oneself completely to her mercy, it was truly a unique experience for Ykina, although Jeremy didn’t know.
Jeremy himself did not particularly like gods. Generally they did not mean humanity harm, but often enough mortals would get caught up in their petty squabbles, or while they were doing whatever they felt like on a whim. And even if they mean well, deities don’t think at the same level as mortals. What they believe is good may not be so great for mortals in the end.
And then he had his own personal reasons to add into the mix.
"You are not like others; you stand and watch, rather than race blindly into battle. You keep yourself hidden yet still remain visible to others... You look for reasons, not answers. A strange human, unlike any other I have ever seen," she said, walking closer and closer to Jeremy. “Indeed, I have taken quite a large interest in you.”
“Please don’t come too close,” Jeremy said, visibly restraining himself. “And I still don’t see why you had decided to personally appear before me. Couldn’t a reason be that I am not a fighter, but a scholar who loves peace, enough reason that I act this way?”
Ykina took a few steps back at his request, leaning against a tree. Her actions surprised Jeremy; she was far more human than he had expected, especially to have respected his request. “Certainly, that explanation is reasonable, but it does not explain why you constantly push away everyone despite your own wishes. Are you not lonely?” She asked, her melodic voice softer than before. “You had traveled with those two girls before. You certainly enjoy companionship, even if you constantly try to deprive yourself of it. Why must you torture yourself so? Those two girls seriously care about you. Do you know how terrible they felt when you left them so?”
“…There’s no way Yuki and Adriyll could care that much about me. I’ve always been pushing them away at every chance I get. I’ve never once shown much kindness towards them, so there should be no reason for them to like me that much.”
“But there is no logic behind feelings. You, who had traveled with them long enough to make a huge impression on them with your actions, you who tried to act colds towards them yet actually failed in the end when they realized what kind of person you truly are on the inside; they like you far more than you believe. Those two girls practically changed for the worse after you left.”
Jeremy’s face contorted at her words for a moment, and his face fell. But it was only for a moment; when he brought it up again his face was blank. “…Those two are not under my jurisdiction. I have no reason to worry about them.” He replied coldly.
“There you go again, killing your own emotions despite everything. Why do you torture yourself so?”
Jeremy paused, before he sighed, crestfallen. “I knew it. There’s nothing I can hide from a goddess,” he said, closing his eyes for a moment. “Very well; I shall explain, but only to you because you are a goddess. You note me a very strange individual, correct? It is true that many of my actions are contradictory. I am full of contradictions. But did you not notice that,” he said, pausing, as he began staring at her with a hollow look, “that my very existence itself, is a contradiction?”
Shock appeared in the goddess’s eyes at his revelation. “Your existence... is a contradiction?” she slowly said, trying to understand what he had just said. “Impossible. If that were so, how would you still be standing here before me? Isn’t that something you had decided for yourself, and thus had decided to act accordingly?”
“No.” Jeremy said decisively, smiling. It was not a happy smile, but one full of self-deprecation. A twisted grin so full of self-loathing that it would scare any mortal that would have seen it. “I’m not even supposed to exist here in this world. In fact, It is because I’m standing here before you here that I am a contradiction, an existence which will affect everything around it and bring the world into chaos the longer it stays. I am someone who does not, and should not, belong here.”
The goddess was rendered speechless at his declaration, gaping at the young man who hated himself so much that he would torture himself.
“Oh? To have rendered even a goddess speechless, what a surprise. But it’s not over yet. Earlier you had mentioned if I was feeling lonely?” he asked rhetorically. Without even waiting for a reply, he continued. “Well, I don’t deserve companionship. I don’t deserve to enjoy myself. You see, I am a despicable person. A selfish man who only does things for the sake of himself, who in the end with his selfishness left everyone he had known behind, possibly forever. Even when I agreed to travel with Yuki, I had only agreed to do so because it was convenient for me. You ask why I torture myself so? Why should I not, after all I have done?” he said, laughing in self-derision.
“No! That’s not right!” Ykina shouted, launching herself at him, embracing him. Shocked, Jeremy could only freeze at the action as Ykina continued to cling onto him, vehemently denying what he said. “Despite all that, I know that deep down, you are truly a good person! During your travels together, you were always keeping an eye on them, making sure that they never got too seriously wounded! When you first met that girl you offered to treat her injury despite her being a stranger! You handed that girl a trinket to ensure her survival when she fought a hawk far above her league! And after that, helping that other girl out of a hostage situation! You saved both of them when they were on the ship, revealing your presence despite your own plans! And, when you all arrived at your destination, you prevented my children from killing each other due to a misunderstanding. And don’t get me started on what you’ve been working on! All that research and notes you have been taken, unnoticed by others; time manipulation, was it? You wish to turn back time to undo what the mistakes you have created, isn’t that right?” she asked tearfully, looking up at him. “It is a noble semblance, even if the means to do so isn’t right.”
“You…” This time, it was Jeremy’s turn to be shocked. “Why? Why are you, a goddess, crying for the sake of an insignificant idiot and a fool like myself?”
He could not think properly, lost in the warmth of her embrace. It had been so long since he had been touched like so. It was not an act of love; that much he was sure of. Despite what anyone might say by looking at this scene, Jeremy could tell it was because the goddess could not bear to see a mortal like him in his state.
But even if it was not an act of love between the two of them, he could still feel her overwhelming emotions pouring into him, cracking the heart he had just hardened earlier in his confrontation with the goddess.
Silently, he looked down at the goddess before slightly returning the embrace, attempting to comfort her, laughing silently at the ridiculousness of the thought. A mere mortal trying to comfort a goddess? Preposterous.
With a wry grin he slowly pushed the goddess away; hold her by the shoulders as he lowered himself so that they would be of the same height.
“I understand your sentiment. Truly, in this battle of words I have lost.” He said resignedly. “But listen, goddess. What I am researching is not time manipulation. If it were that, well, I can already do that to some degree. Did you not notice? I had used it once earlier, while escorting those villagers away from Yuki while she fought that hawk.” At that, the goddess’ eyes widened. “However, the past is the past. I do not wish to change it and undo everything that has resulted of it, as if to make mockery of all the hard work and feelings that resulted of everything that has already happened. I told you, didn’t I? My very existence here is a contraction. What I am seeking is a place where I can be, a place where I am no longer a contradiction, a place where I can truly belong. There is no such place here in this world, because it never existed here in the first place. But I know it existed, because I was born there.”
The goddess’ eyes widened even further, finally understanding just what he was implying, what he had been trying to say the whole time he was ridiculing himself without fully revealing it.
Jeremy continued on. “You see? That is why I must leave. Those two, Yuki and Adriyll, they must learn to grow strong without me. Even if I want to, I cannot allow others to grow too attached to me, nor can I grow attached to any other here. “
Ykina’s face fell. “Truly, you really are a noble one. Such self-sacrifice is entirely unheard of among any I have met, mortal or not. And even now, you continue to steadfastly refer to those insignificant ones by their names.” She murmured, before looking up, her eyes resolute. “Very well. I understand.”
“That’s good.” Jeremy said with a small smile. The first true, genuine smile he had ever displayed ever since coming here; even though it was slight, it was a smile that somehow conveyed so much that Ykina couldn’t help but smile back.
“Yes. Therefore,” she said, bringing herself up to her full height (which wasn’t very tall), “You will allow me to travel with you as your companion!”
Jeremy froze, unsure of what he just heard. “What?” he asked. The goddess was going to travel with him? She did not just say that, did she?
“I said, you will allow me to travel with you, no exceptions. And second, you were stop referring to me as ‘goddess’. I shall grant you permission to call me by my name, Ykina.”
Jeremy sighed. It would probably be a very bad idea to refuse the request of a goddess as direct as this one. But to allow him to call her by name... It was precisely because she was a goddess that such a normal request would actually have implications behind it, one that a goddess normally should not have asked of a mortal. But she had, and it was an implication that Jeremy understood, and respected.
”It is an honor,” he said, bowing slightly. A bow of respect not intended for a goddess, but towards a fellow human. “Very well, Ykina. Let us be on our way.”
And so, a human and a goddess set off. A strange pair, made stranger still by the fact thqt they actually viewed each other as equals, setting off on an even stranger journey.
-----
Yuki entered her home, quietly closing the door and staying in the shadows as she watched Umren, Styn and Adriyll giggle and laugh as they rummaged in the kitchen. Yuki watched Adriyll especially, and frowned. Yuki was sure the girl would hold a strong... hate wasn’t the word. Dislike. That was it. Yuki was sure that the girl would start the argument up again, and decided against revealing her presence.
Instead, Yuki hid herself as she left herself to her thoughts, leaning against the wall and staring past the girls in the kitchen. Though Mesir did promise to throw his vote in for her, there were two other Elders to please, and the third was nowhere to be found. Yuki gave a small grumble as she realized that Kail’n may actually present an argument against her, and then rattle off twisted versions of the truth. Yuki pulled a face, crossing her arms, as she thought of the different scenarios that she might have to face.
Gumbling, Yuki pulled a face again, drumming her fingers on her arm, watching the girls with a careful eye. Yuki put her head against the cool wall, enjoying the smooth surface of the wood against her head. She opened one of her eyes in time to notice Umren speak up. "Where's Rimmy?" Styn only looked around, and gave a small shrug while Adriyll, who also shrugged, excused herself as she started to walk towards the door. Yuki, acting only out of instinct, quietly slipped back to the living room and blended with the bookshelf.
Adriyll wandered around, but always seemed to be on Yuki’s trail closely, as if she knew where Yuki was in the darkness, and was only feigning it in front of Umren and Styn. Eventually, she followed Yuki into her room and saw in the darkness the all familiar silver of Yuki’s eyes. The two simply stared at each other for a long time before Adriyll finally broke the silence.
“Is this something that adults do; hide in the dark?”
“And what would you know of adults? You’re just a kid! Probably not even 10 years old! Don’t speak to me as if you know everything!” Yuki growled.
“I don’t know everything,” Adriyll replied. “But I know what adults don’t normally do.”
“Like what, hmm?”
“They don’t hide from children in the dark.” Adriyll looked Yuki over, tilting her head to the side slightly. “Why?”
“What do you mean, why? What part of my explanation would make any sense to you?”
“The message underneath it all.”
Yuki kept silent, her eyes hardening as she watched Adriyll gaze at her with her piercing eyes. It was hard not to storm out of the room, to run and hide, to think about what had happened. Keeping herself in the corner, the two resumed staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity, the only sounds in the room coming from the two. “And what,” Yuki asked softly, her voice still hard, “Is that message that you see?”
“You’re hiding.”
“And how, hm?” Yuki replied, confident that Adriyll wouldn’t be able to list the reasons correctly. Yuki knew that she was hiding; she had done it for a while now, even before she started travelling. With a small chuckle, she looked at Adriyll and raised an eyebrow.
“Well... You’re hiding in the dark. You run away from people too... and you don’t like to eat when you’re hiding.” Adriyll tilted her head to the other side, putting a finger to her lips as she thought. Adriyll was smart, but due to her age and experience she wasn’t very good in putting her feelings into words.
“And... You stopped being a sister for Umren and Styn.”
Her words made Yuki frown harder, a small noise of frustration slipping past her lips. She opened her mouth to protest before closing it, realizing that Adriyll was right. Another long second passed before Yuki sighed, crossing her arms and nodding her head slowly. “And I take you got that information from Rikojuu?” A questioning look found its way into Yuki’s eyes, the harsh darkness beginning to be filled with pale streaks of moonlight coming in from the window.
“No. Umren told me.”
“I see.” Yuki paused before making a move, casting her gaze to the ground before walking towards Adriyll and pulling her into a hug. Adriyll gave a squeak, surprised by Yuki's actions before returning the hug, letting the warmth of Yuki wash over her. Adriyll looked up at her, and Yuki looked at her with a questioning look, before putting her face into Yuki’s stomach. Yuki moved her hand, putting it on Adriyll’s head and absentmindedly stroking it, keeping her close as she picked Adriyll up gently. Adriyll laced her arms around Yuki’s neck, putting her head on her shoulder, her hair spilling over her shoulder and back.
The time that was spent travelling was not easy, and Yuki had seen that Adriyll was always trying to do something to ease burdens or make the situations, the in least, a bit better. Yuki swayed gently, moving around the room at a comfortable pace, occasionally shifting Adriyll. Yuki closed her eyes, certain that she knew where she was going, and let a flash of memories pass by her, picking out what her mother used to do with her when she was troubled or in a bad mood.
Yuki continued her comfortable pace, starting to hum an old lullaby that she was taught. Yuki fiddled with Adriyll’s hair, feeling the girl’s breathing slow and her grip start to go limp. Yuki continued her humming and swaying, counting to sixty before walking downstairs and to where her sisters were before giving a small smile. “Sorry I was home late,” Yuki whispered, her hand still fiddling with Adriyll’s hair, “and that I put Adriyll to sleep so late.” Yuki noticed that the lights had been turned off and all that was there for light were two candles illuminating the darkness.
Umren gave a small smile, shrug. Umren shifted, reclining back onto the cushions that adorned the couch, giving a small noise of exhaustion. “It’s fine,” she began, rubbing at her eyes. A stifled yawn passed her lips, and she stretched her arms toward the ceiling before relaxing and rolling her shoulders. “Dinner’s in the kitchen... I put some in the ice box until you got home. Did you go patrolling?”
“No,” Yuki replied as she shifted Adriyll gently, “I had to go and think about some of the things I’ve done over the years. Course,” Yuki said as she saw Umren’s face drop into a cold, questioning stare, “it wasn’t about them... It wasn’t, I swear. It was just about a multitude of small things.”
Styn put down her book, placing it on the night stand, smiling at the sight of Yuki holding Adriyll. “Here,” she said as she patted the space between herself and Umren, “put her here while you go and eat.” Yuki nodded, setting Adriyll down gently, almost as gentle as a mother putting her child to sleep, as she stumbled into the kitchen, quickly grabbing a cabinet to keep herself from falling. Yuki gave pained, shallow breaths as she clutched at her chest, her eyes closing and her body slumped over. She gave a soft, pained croak as she waited for the pain to subside, the pain constantly brushing her senses.
This hasn’t happened since I was twelve... though Rikojuu did say something about taking it easy during the travels. Yuki smiled wryly, pulling the food out of the cold box and wandering to the table and starting her dinner. She ate quickly, drinking water each time her chest gave a painful throb. It wasn’t long until she finished, washing her plate and silverware, setting it to dry on a rag. Rejoining the girls, Yuki gave a smile before sitting near them. “I’m going to make another patrol around the house. I’ll be back, okay?” Yuki whispered to Umren, who looked half asleep. Umren nodded sleepily, and Yuki got up to patrol the home.
Closing the door behind her, she stepped out in the pale moonlight, Yuki took slow, deliberate steps. For once, her mind didn’t wander, but seemed to ask her the questions she didn’t want answer. Why do you run? Why don’t you stop and think for a second? Why don’t you own up to what you’ve done? Yuki made no motion to push the questions away, and simply put them on hold as she walked around, her eyes scanning for any intruders.
I’ve been scared. Scared to death about feeling emotions tied to love again; scared to death to lose people again. Last time I thought, I was moving away from my parents; I didn’t help them. Now do you see my own impulsive decisions origins? Yuki left the last question unanswered, rubbing her sore and throbbing chest as she slipped back into her home, closing the door and locking it as she drifted upstairs. As she wandered around her room for a chamber pot, her mind piped up again.
Why did you let the past haunt you?
Yuki had an answer, but left it behind her lips as she put a trash can next to her bed. Rubbing her chest and slipping out of her outfit into her pajamas, she grimaced. Lovely. She thought as she slipped into her bed, nuzzling her face into the pillow. All the answers, questions and thoughts she had would have to wait until morning.
------
Yuki woke up in a flash, leaning over her bed and into the chamber pot as her body shook. She gave a pained groan before retching up what she had for dinner last night, her skin going pale. She began to dry heave, her hair spilling over her shoulders as she leaned closer, nearly toppling over the bed. Yuki closed her eyes, pushing herself up and taking deep breaths as she did so, putting herself on the floor quietly as she felt another round start again.
Yuki didn’t notice the sound of the door opening until she felt hands on her shoulders, hands slipping under her arms and pulling her up. “Rimmy! How hard did you push yourself?” Yuki couldn’t tell who was who, and didn’t bother with an answer. There were more voices, and eventually Yuki ended up keeling over a chamber pot that Umren pulled out in time, and Umren took on the dutiful sister role as Styn rubbed Yuki’s back as she held her long hair back. Any remnants of the retching was the smell alone, but it was common to have terrible odors in her room.
Yuki managed a groan, before speaking, washing her hands. “How.. What, was I that loud?”
“I needed to go to the bathroom but decided to check on you. Last night you seemed like you were troubled, and that you were probably going to be up painting... and then I heard you retch, so I grabbed Styn and well, here we are.” Umren replied casually, but her eyes held worry. Adriyll came teetering down the stairs, her eyes bleary as she took in the scene around her. “Ah Adriyll!” Umren said, giving her a smile. “I need you to grab Rikojuu; I don’t think Rimmy can make it over to her house.” Umren looked outside, surprise coloring her face. It was only morning, barely around the time Rikojuu would be up... oh well, at least it was close. Adriyll gave a nod before sprinting out the door, the door left ajar as her figure disappeared. Styn moved quickly to shut the door, Umren speaking in soft tones and sweet nothings to keep Yuki going.
It wasn’t until a few long minutes later that Rikojuu walked in, her eyes scanning the area for Yuki, clucking her tongue as she looked at her, Adriyll trailing along and moving to hug Umren. Rikojuu wore a simple white dress with a pouch slung across her shoulders, resting at her hip. She had on a pair of slippers, simplistic as she walked around, sighing. “Another case of pushing yourself too hard?” Rikojuu mumbled, moving towards her. Rikojuu pulled out a medium sized jar full of green liquid, and as soon as Yuki saw it, Yuki let out a mix of a groan and whimper. “Oh shut it; its the only thing that I had made already.” Rikojuu led Yuki to the table and put the jar down, screwing the top off and pointing at it. “Drink it.”
Yuki didn’t have enough fight to make another groan, simply complying to the older woman’s wishes as she pulled a face, the disgusting taste running down her throat and into her stomach. Lowering it to catch a breath, Yuki set it on the table, making a grumbling noise. “I think my stomach may be eating itself.” Yuki turned to Rikojuu weakly, worry spreading over her face as Rikojuu stood there in silence. “Well, I’m sure it’ll pass.” She said, shrugging slightly before turning back and drinking more, albeit still eyeing it and seeing if was poisonous.
“You did use the salve I put in your pouch... right?” Rikojuu asked, but all of them knew the answer: No.
Yuki ignored her, and focused on finishing the drink. She gave a shrug and Adriyll piped up. “I.. I accidently ate some.” Rikojuu raised an eyebrow at the child but said nothing, only turning back and monitoring Yuki with a close eye. “It was bad...” Adriyll muttered, clinging onto Umren.
Rikojuu helped Yuki up, sighing. “Alright, enough of drinking that, you need rest. I don’t care if you’re on sentry duty or not.” Yuki simply dragged herself after, Styn and Umren starting to clean the mess in the kitchen while Adriyll ran behind Yuki, closing her small hand around hers and giving it a gentle squeeze. Yuki gave her a weak squeeze back, crawling into bed and releasing a groan of pain when she touched her chest. “You’re to stay in bed for the next few hours until I come back with something stronger and more effective. Adriyll,” Rikojuu snapped, “I want you to keep track of her. Make sure she doesn’t leave, got it?” Adriyll nodded furiously, standing up straight and giving her a mock salute.
Yuki rolled over, pushing her face into the pillow as she fell back into the clutches of sleep. Dammit.
What a way to start the day.
--------
It was around noon when Umren stepped into Yuki’s room, her older sister fast asleep with her back turned to the door. Rikojuu wasn’t too far behind, and she gave the woman a nod before sitting beside Yuki, the chair dutifully silent as she sat down. “What was wrong?” Umren asked, keeping her eyes on her sister.
“Her stomach is troubling her again; it hasn’t been the first time either. I believe it started when she was twelve, and she never really took care of the problem.” Rikojuu replied, walking over and putting the new medicine on the nightstand next to the bed. Stepping back, she sighed. “Well, that and your mother had it too. Nasty case, really. It really starts when the said person pushes themselves too far physically, and they do nothing about it.” Giving the sleeping teenager a glance, Rikojuu crossed her arms. “I’m sure there’s a reason.”
Umren nodded silently, watching as her sister’s chest rose and fell in a normal pattern. “There’s more to this than her illness, isn’t there?” She asked quietly, not taking her eyes off of her sister’s rising chest.
“Of course. This is Rymothyia; she’s got a few things to... well, smooth out.”
“Running away from things is her main problem... but you do know that she may leave for good this time, right? That she may be even, and I hate to say it, be executed if they don’t vote for her.”
“Yes, I know, but what about the news about the Duke’s scouts getting too close to our village? They’ve been more abrasive and more aggressive with their movements recently.” She scoffed softly, rolling her eyes at Rikojuu’s expression. “Oh don’t act surprised; Mesir talks too loud behind closed doors and open windows. Anyways,” she said, waving it off, “I’m starting to get worried we won’t have enough time to move our entire village again. We’re lucky this was neutral territory beforehand... But, also, what about the fact that some of our Sari’l are going missing?”
“The Sari’l were on a mission that they knew they couldn’t come back. But, Umren, you’ve brought up good points. We’ve lost too many Sari’l to fight anyone, but maybe Yuki can substitute for one... Who knows? The Guardians may not accept her.” Rikojuu mused, mumbling to herself before coming back to the conversation. “I’ll see if she can recover quickly enough to be deployed on the next mission that’ll happen in a fortnight. Make sure she drinks the medicine, okay?”
“Of course.”
And with that, Rikojuu left to make preparations while Umren stayed with her sister, brushing her hair and muttering into her hand. Umren stayed with her until she was positive Yuki wouldn’t wake up for a while, and as she got up, Umren pressed her forehead to Yuki’s to check her temperature. “Nothing bad so far... good.” Umren gave her sister a kiss on the forehead before walking out of the room, shutting the door as she walked out.
However, during this series of events no one had noticed that one Kail’n’s servant was outside the window, listening intently, and as Umren closed the door, he scurried off.
It was time to take Yuki out for good.
-------
Adriyll walked forward, towards a house that seemed to tower over her, knocking on the door. A man opened it, looking down at her with pale brown eyes. “What is it child? Are you lost?” Adriyll immediately noticed his ears and tail, and fumbled for words as he watched her.
“I-I was loo-looking for my fri-friend Yuki...” She mumbled, taking a step back. “Bu-but, if you haven’t se-seen her, that’s okay.” Adriyll recalled that Umren said that, or something along those lines repeatedly for different situations.
“Yuki? Yuki.. Oh! You mean Rymothyia!”
“Is that her re-real name?”
“It is... wait, she didn’t tell you?”
Adriyll shook her head. “I don’t th-think she would’ve to-told me either.” He frowned at her comment, but shook it off as she looked around. “Is she ar-around here some-somewhere?” She asked, motioning to the interior of the home.
The man frowned and shook his head, and took her hand into his. “I think I may be able to find her, though. Did you try asking a sentry first?” He asked, starting to walk with her to the front of the house. “Usually they can find people faster than I can.”
“I did, but they told me to come here.” Adriyll responded, still looking around them. Adriyll was starting to feel a trickle of fear for Yuki; perhaps she had gotten herself into trouble again.
Although she always made it out, it was always with injuries. “Can you shift forms?”
“Huh? Oh, I can. Where did you learn about shifting?”
“Yuki did it once.”
“When was that?” He asked, his eyes scanning the landscape around the pair. Turning, he scooped Adriyll into his arms and walked past his home. Adriyll let out a surprised squeak, clinging to his arms for dear life as he walked. “I won’t drop you, you can relax.”
“We-well,” Adriyll’s stuttering had made it even harder to speak to him, but she managed to pull herself together for a brief moment, “she was tal-talking to Jeremy a-and she to-told him something, the-then s-she ran and ju-jumped, an-and in her place w-was a wo-wolf running in the dis-distance.” Adriyll gave a small squeak when he shifted her, clinging even tighter to his arm.
“I see... Rymothyia, you know, if you want to get away from everyone, dangling your tail isn’t exactly the best way to go about it.” He remarked, looking at the black tail hanging from a branch.
A sigh followed his remark, and a second later Yuki swung down, landing in a crouch and glaring at the two as she got up. "What is it? I was in the middle of something." Yuki noticed Adriyll in Mesir’s arms, and gave a strained and brief smile. "Hello, Adriyll. How was your walk around the village?"
“I-it was ok-okay...” Adriyll mumbled before being let down from his arms, scurrying to hug her before turning to him. “Th-thank you..?”
“Call me Mesir.” He smiled kindly, before he walked away from the two to give them time for themselves.
Yuki gave a small wave and patted Adriyll’s head as she watched him walk away, but pulled the young girl off of her after a long second. “I’ve got things to do, I’m sure Umren and Styn need you at the moment. I heard they were going to start cooking.” Yuki said, raising an eyebrow at herself and then frowning. “No, they’re going to start cooking in a hour or two. Whoops. I must be forgetting things more easily than normal today.” She gave a fake smile to Adriyll, who frowned and crossed her arms.
“Where’s Jeremy?” Adriyll asked, tapping her foot as Yuki kept silent.
“Jeremy.. went on a trip for a while. He’ll be back in a while.”
“You’re lying.”
Yuki raised an eyebrow at Adriyll, her gaze turning cold. “Lying? That’s a powerful statement. What do you know of lies?” Yuki growled back, taking a few steps back and leaning against the tree she dropped from. “You’re only eight, Adriyll. You’ve much to learn about lies.”
Adriyll gave a small growl before stomping her foot. “And you’re acting as if lies are your answer! I’m not stupid! I can pick up on things, like you can!”
"Then you'll know that I've done everything for your and Jeremy's protection, that I've almost died on that boat for you. Go back to Styn and Umren, I'm sure you can help there." She replied coldly, her gaze locking with Adriyll's. Yuki turned and swiftly made her way up the tree, ignoring Adriyll’s angry cries and poorly made insults, letting them roll off her back. If she wanted to be angry, that was fine. Not everything revolves around you, Adriyll. She thought coldly as she continued to climb the tree.
When Yuki got to her original spot, Adriyll had decided to go to her house in search of Umren and Styn, and she was fine with that. I’m just going to enjoy the forest, this forest I haven’t been in years. But as much as she tried, the forest wasn’t keeping her attention long enough for Jeremy to fade from her mind. Whenever she thought of him, her heart ached, her chest hurt and throat threatened to close up. He was only a stupid traveler. Nothing will compare to what happened all those years ago, when... Yuki shook her head, stopping herself.
Bu then a small voice in her mind whispered something to her; Is the source of your aching because he was like your father?
Never, she argued with herself, no one can fill that space.
But despite all that, she still longed for her father, who was long gone, never to come back again.
-----
It had only been half an hour since he had slipped out of the village. Although that didn’t seem like a very long time, Jeremy had already put considerable distance between himself and village; certainly not a distance one would expect of a human. However, the presence of something following him had caused him to slow down until he came to a complete stop.
“You there, in the shadows. How long do you plan on following me?” He called out, his body tense.
A small rustle, and something with the appearance beautiful woman appeared from the foliage at Jeremy’s left.
The woman was small, about four feet eleven, but had an ethereal glow to her that made her stand out in the shadows and seem taller than she actually was. Her short, wavy pale blue hair stood in contrast to her darker skin tone, her pale purple eyes gazing at Jeremy intently. She seemed to hover above the ground, her footsteps causing small rings of ice crystals to surround her feet. She wore a simple yet elegant one shouldered dress, the pale blue fabric flowing around her like water.
Normally, Jeremy wouldn’t have bothered to slow down. But there was something strange he had felt from the presence, making him overly wary. And most of all, it was the fact that the presence was completely abnormal. Despite looking entirely like a normal being, whatever it was, it was neither human nor hybrid.
“Young traveler, you are indeed a strange one. To have caught my curiosity in such a manner, I applaud you.” It said softly, it’s voice almost like a song. “But do you truly wish to leave them behind? Do you truly wish to become such a lonely wanderer?” It tilted its head to the side slightly, staring at Jeremy silently as another unasked question filled the silence: Is this what you really want?
Jeremy could sense a hint of sadness in her voice, but he was far too distracted by something else to bother with it.
“You…” he grounded out, slowly and cautiously. Taking a step back away from whatever that thing was, he slightly lowered his body. “You have power on the level of a deity. A goddess, perhaps? Why would someone as powerful as you appear before an insignificant mortal like me?”
It seemed genuinely surprised. “My,” it said, “despite my efforts to disguise myself it seems I was already found out. Yes, you are right; I am the goddess Ykina.”
Jeremy paused when he heard the goddess’s name; it took him a few moments to realize where he had heard it from, and when he did he groaned. “I see, so that’s how it is. This is petty revenge for when Yuki asked me to help her for ‘the love of Ykina’, and I replied by saying that I didn’t care for your love, isn’t it.”
“What? No, I do not hold a grudge against you for that, young traveler, although that was when I had first began to take interest in you. Do not fear me, young traveler, for I mean you no harm.”
“Then pray tell, Goddess. Why have you appeared before someone as insignificant as I, one who can not fathom the meaning behind your actions?” Jeremy asked her, laying it on a little thick. Although he now knew for sure that she was a goddess, and that his actions were much more polite than before, it was still far from the grovelling most would have done the moment they realize they were in the presence of a deity.
Indeed, it was a strange action for a mortal being to take. Polite and respectful without surrendering oneself completely to her mercy, it was truly a unique experience for Ykina, although Jeremy didn’t know.
Jeremy himself did not particularly like gods. Generally they did not mean humanity harm, but often enough mortals would get caught up in their petty squabbles, or while they were doing whatever they felt like on a whim. And even if they mean well, deities don’t think at the same level as mortals. What they believe is good may not be so great for mortals in the end.
And then he had his own personal reasons to add into the mix.
"You are not like others; you stand and watch, rather than race blindly into battle. You keep yourself hidden yet still remain visible to others... You look for reasons, not answers. A strange human, unlike any other I have ever seen," she said, walking closer and closer to Jeremy. “Indeed, I have taken quite a large interest in you.”
“Please don’t come too close,” Jeremy said, visibly restraining himself. “And I still don’t see why you had decided to personally appear before me. Couldn’t a reason be that I am not a fighter, but a scholar who loves peace, enough reason that I act this way?”
Ykina took a few steps back at his request, leaning against a tree. Her actions surprised Jeremy; she was far more human than he had expected, especially to have respected his request. “Certainly, that explanation is reasonable, but it does not explain why you constantly push away everyone despite your own wishes. Are you not lonely?” She asked, her melodic voice softer than before. “You had traveled with those two girls before. You certainly enjoy companionship, even if you constantly try to deprive yourself of it. Why must you torture yourself so? Those two girls seriously care about you. Do you know how terrible they felt when you left them so?”
“…There’s no way Yuki and Adriyll could care that much about me. I’ve always been pushing them away at every chance I get. I’ve never once shown much kindness towards them, so there should be no reason for them to like me that much.”
“But there is no logic behind feelings. You, who had traveled with them long enough to make a huge impression on them with your actions, you who tried to act colds towards them yet actually failed in the end when they realized what kind of person you truly are on the inside; they like you far more than you believe. Those two girls practically changed for the worse after you left.”
Jeremy’s face contorted at her words for a moment, and his face fell. But it was only for a moment; when he brought it up again his face was blank. “…Those two are not under my jurisdiction. I have no reason to worry about them.” He replied coldly.
“There you go again, killing your own emotions despite everything. Why do you torture yourself so?”
Jeremy paused, before he sighed, crestfallen. “I knew it. There’s nothing I can hide from a goddess,” he said, closing his eyes for a moment. “Very well; I shall explain, but only to you because you are a goddess. You note me a very strange individual, correct? It is true that many of my actions are contradictory. I am full of contradictions. But did you not notice that,” he said, pausing, as he began staring at her with a hollow look, “that my very existence itself, is a contradiction?”
Shock appeared in the goddess’s eyes at his revelation. “Your existence... is a contradiction?” she slowly said, trying to understand what he had just said. “Impossible. If that were so, how would you still be standing here before me? Isn’t that something you had decided for yourself, and thus had decided to act accordingly?”
“No.” Jeremy said decisively, smiling. It was not a happy smile, but one full of self-deprecation. A twisted grin so full of self-loathing that it would scare any mortal that would have seen it. “I’m not even supposed to exist here in this world. In fact, It is because I’m standing here before you here that I am a contradiction, an existence which will affect everything around it and bring the world into chaos the longer it stays. I am someone who does not, and should not, belong here.”
The goddess was rendered speechless at his declaration, gaping at the young man who hated himself so much that he would torture himself.
“Oh? To have rendered even a goddess speechless, what a surprise. But it’s not over yet. Earlier you had mentioned if I was feeling lonely?” he asked rhetorically. Without even waiting for a reply, he continued. “Well, I don’t deserve companionship. I don’t deserve to enjoy myself. You see, I am a despicable person. A selfish man who only does things for the sake of himself, who in the end with his selfishness left everyone he had known behind, possibly forever. Even when I agreed to travel with Yuki, I had only agreed to do so because it was convenient for me. You ask why I torture myself so? Why should I not, after all I have done?” he said, laughing in self-derision.
“No! That’s not right!” Ykina shouted, launching herself at him, embracing him. Shocked, Jeremy could only freeze at the action as Ykina continued to cling onto him, vehemently denying what he said. “Despite all that, I know that deep down, you are truly a good person! During your travels together, you were always keeping an eye on them, making sure that they never got too seriously wounded! When you first met that girl you offered to treat her injury despite her being a stranger! You handed that girl a trinket to ensure her survival when she fought a hawk far above her league! And after that, helping that other girl out of a hostage situation! You saved both of them when they were on the ship, revealing your presence despite your own plans! And, when you all arrived at your destination, you prevented my children from killing each other due to a misunderstanding. And don’t get me started on what you’ve been working on! All that research and notes you have been taken, unnoticed by others; time manipulation, was it? You wish to turn back time to undo what the mistakes you have created, isn’t that right?” she asked tearfully, looking up at him. “It is a noble semblance, even if the means to do so isn’t right.”
“You…” This time, it was Jeremy’s turn to be shocked. “Why? Why are you, a goddess, crying for the sake of an insignificant idiot and a fool like myself?”
He could not think properly, lost in the warmth of her embrace. It had been so long since he had been touched like so. It was not an act of love; that much he was sure of. Despite what anyone might say by looking at this scene, Jeremy could tell it was because the goddess could not bear to see a mortal like him in his state.
But even if it was not an act of love between the two of them, he could still feel her overwhelming emotions pouring into him, cracking the heart he had just hardened earlier in his confrontation with the goddess.
Silently, he looked down at the goddess before slightly returning the embrace, attempting to comfort her, laughing silently at the ridiculousness of the thought. A mere mortal trying to comfort a goddess? Preposterous.
With a wry grin he slowly pushed the goddess away; hold her by the shoulders as he lowered himself so that they would be of the same height.
“I understand your sentiment. Truly, in this battle of words I have lost.” He said resignedly. “But listen, goddess. What I am researching is not time manipulation. If it were that, well, I can already do that to some degree. Did you not notice? I had used it once earlier, while escorting those villagers away from Yuki while she fought that hawk.” At that, the goddess’ eyes widened. “However, the past is the past. I do not wish to change it and undo everything that has resulted of it, as if to make mockery of all the hard work and feelings that resulted of everything that has already happened. I told you, didn’t I? My very existence here is a contraction. What I am seeking is a place where I can be, a place where I am no longer a contradiction, a place where I can truly belong. There is no such place here in this world, because it never existed here in the first place. But I know it existed, because I was born there.”
The goddess’ eyes widened even further, finally understanding just what he was implying, what he had been trying to say the whole time he was ridiculing himself without fully revealing it.
Jeremy continued on. “You see? That is why I must leave. Those two, Yuki and Adriyll, they must learn to grow strong without me. Even if I want to, I cannot allow others to grow too attached to me, nor can I grow attached to any other here. “
Ykina’s face fell. “Truly, you really are a noble one. Such self-sacrifice is entirely unheard of among any I have met, mortal or not. And even now, you continue to steadfastly refer to those insignificant ones by their names.” She murmured, before looking up, her eyes resolute. “Very well. I understand.”
“That’s good.” Jeremy said with a small smile. The first true, genuine smile he had ever displayed ever since coming here; even though it was slight, it was a smile that somehow conveyed so much that Ykina couldn’t help but smile back.
“Yes. Therefore,” she said, bringing herself up to her full height (which wasn’t very tall), “You will allow me to travel with you as your companion!”
Jeremy froze, unsure of what he just heard. “What?” he asked. The goddess was going to travel with him? She did not just say that, did she?
“I said, you will allow me to travel with you, no exceptions. And second, you were stop referring to me as ‘goddess’. I shall grant you permission to call me by my name, Ykina.”
Jeremy sighed. It would probably be a very bad idea to refuse the request of a goddess as direct as this one. But to allow him to call her by name... It was precisely because she was a goddess that such a normal request would actually have implications behind it, one that a goddess normally should not have asked of a mortal. But she had, and it was an implication that Jeremy understood, and respected.
”It is an honor,” he said, bowing slightly. A bow of respect not intended for a goddess, but towards a fellow human. “Very well, Ykina. Let us be on our way.”
And so, a human and a goddess set off. A strange pair, made stranger still by the fact thqt they actually viewed each other as equals, setting off on an even stranger journey.
-----
Yuki entered her home, quietly closing the door and staying in the shadows as she watched Umren, Styn and Adriyll giggle and laugh as they rummaged in the kitchen. Yuki watched Adriyll especially, and frowned. Yuki was sure the girl would hold a strong... hate wasn’t the word. Dislike. That was it. Yuki was sure that the girl would start the argument up again, and decided against revealing her presence.
Instead, Yuki hid herself as she left herself to her thoughts, leaning against the wall and staring past the girls in the kitchen. Though Mesir did promise to throw his vote in for her, there were two other Elders to please, and the third was nowhere to be found. Yuki gave a small grumble as she realized that Kail’n may actually present an argument against her, and then rattle off twisted versions of the truth. Yuki pulled a face, crossing her arms, as she thought of the different scenarios that she might have to face.
Gumbling, Yuki pulled a face again, drumming her fingers on her arm, watching the girls with a careful eye. Yuki put her head against the cool wall, enjoying the smooth surface of the wood against her head. She opened one of her eyes in time to notice Umren speak up. "Where's Rimmy?" Styn only looked around, and gave a small shrug while Adriyll, who also shrugged, excused herself as she started to walk towards the door. Yuki, acting only out of instinct, quietly slipped back to the living room and blended with the bookshelf.
Adriyll wandered around, but always seemed to be on Yuki’s trail closely, as if she knew where Yuki was in the darkness, and was only feigning it in front of Umren and Styn. Eventually, she followed Yuki into her room and saw in the darkness the all familiar silver of Yuki’s eyes. The two simply stared at each other for a long time before Adriyll finally broke the silence.
“Is this something that adults do; hide in the dark?”
“And what would you know of adults? You’re just a kid! Probably not even 10 years old! Don’t speak to me as if you know everything!” Yuki growled.
“I don’t know everything,” Adriyll replied. “But I know what adults don’t normally do.”
“Like what, hmm?”
“They don’t hide from children in the dark.” Adriyll looked Yuki over, tilting her head to the side slightly. “Why?”
“What do you mean, why? What part of my explanation would make any sense to you?”
“The message underneath it all.”
Yuki kept silent, her eyes hardening as she watched Adriyll gaze at her with her piercing eyes. It was hard not to storm out of the room, to run and hide, to think about what had happened. Keeping herself in the corner, the two resumed staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity, the only sounds in the room coming from the two. “And what,” Yuki asked softly, her voice still hard, “Is that message that you see?”
“You’re hiding.”
“And how, hm?” Yuki replied, confident that Adriyll wouldn’t be able to list the reasons correctly. Yuki knew that she was hiding; she had done it for a while now, even before she started travelling. With a small chuckle, she looked at Adriyll and raised an eyebrow.
“Well... You’re hiding in the dark. You run away from people too... and you don’t like to eat when you’re hiding.” Adriyll tilted her head to the other side, putting a finger to her lips as she thought. Adriyll was smart, but due to her age and experience she wasn’t very good in putting her feelings into words.
“And... You stopped being a sister for Umren and Styn.”
Her words made Yuki frown harder, a small noise of frustration slipping past her lips. She opened her mouth to protest before closing it, realizing that Adriyll was right. Another long second passed before Yuki sighed, crossing her arms and nodding her head slowly. “And I take you got that information from Rikojuu?” A questioning look found its way into Yuki’s eyes, the harsh darkness beginning to be filled with pale streaks of moonlight coming in from the window.
“No. Umren told me.”
“I see.” Yuki paused before making a move, casting her gaze to the ground before walking towards Adriyll and pulling her into a hug. Adriyll gave a squeak, surprised by Yuki's actions before returning the hug, letting the warmth of Yuki wash over her. Adriyll looked up at her, and Yuki looked at her with a questioning look, before putting her face into Yuki’s stomach. Yuki moved her hand, putting it on Adriyll’s head and absentmindedly stroking it, keeping her close as she picked Adriyll up gently. Adriyll laced her arms around Yuki’s neck, putting her head on her shoulder, her hair spilling over her shoulder and back.
The time that was spent travelling was not easy, and Yuki had seen that Adriyll was always trying to do something to ease burdens or make the situations, the in least, a bit better. Yuki swayed gently, moving around the room at a comfortable pace, occasionally shifting Adriyll. Yuki closed her eyes, certain that she knew where she was going, and let a flash of memories pass by her, picking out what her mother used to do with her when she was troubled or in a bad mood.
Yuki continued her comfortable pace, starting to hum an old lullaby that she was taught. Yuki fiddled with Adriyll’s hair, feeling the girl’s breathing slow and her grip start to go limp. Yuki continued her humming and swaying, counting to sixty before walking downstairs and to where her sisters were before giving a small smile. “Sorry I was home late,” Yuki whispered, her hand still fiddling with Adriyll’s hair, “and that I put Adriyll to sleep so late.” Yuki noticed that the lights had been turned off and all that was there for light were two candles illuminating the darkness.
Umren gave a small smile, shrug. Umren shifted, reclining back onto the cushions that adorned the couch, giving a small noise of exhaustion. “It’s fine,” she began, rubbing at her eyes. A stifled yawn passed her lips, and she stretched her arms toward the ceiling before relaxing and rolling her shoulders. “Dinner’s in the kitchen... I put some in the ice box until you got home. Did you go patrolling?”
“No,” Yuki replied as she shifted Adriyll gently, “I had to go and think about some of the things I’ve done over the years. Course,” Yuki said as she saw Umren’s face drop into a cold, questioning stare, “it wasn’t about them... It wasn’t, I swear. It was just about a multitude of small things.”
Styn put down her book, placing it on the night stand, smiling at the sight of Yuki holding Adriyll. “Here,” she said as she patted the space between herself and Umren, “put her here while you go and eat.” Yuki nodded, setting Adriyll down gently, almost as gentle as a mother putting her child to sleep, as she stumbled into the kitchen, quickly grabbing a cabinet to keep herself from falling. Yuki gave pained, shallow breaths as she clutched at her chest, her eyes closing and her body slumped over. She gave a soft, pained croak as she waited for the pain to subside, the pain constantly brushing her senses.
This hasn’t happened since I was twelve... though Rikojuu did say something about taking it easy during the travels. Yuki smiled wryly, pulling the food out of the cold box and wandering to the table and starting her dinner. She ate quickly, drinking water each time her chest gave a painful throb. It wasn’t long until she finished, washing her plate and silverware, setting it to dry on a rag. Rejoining the girls, Yuki gave a smile before sitting near them. “I’m going to make another patrol around the house. I’ll be back, okay?” Yuki whispered to Umren, who looked half asleep. Umren nodded sleepily, and Yuki got up to patrol the home.
Closing the door behind her, she stepped out in the pale moonlight, Yuki took slow, deliberate steps. For once, her mind didn’t wander, but seemed to ask her the questions she didn’t want answer. Why do you run? Why don’t you stop and think for a second? Why don’t you own up to what you’ve done? Yuki made no motion to push the questions away, and simply put them on hold as she walked around, her eyes scanning for any intruders.
I’ve been scared. Scared to death about feeling emotions tied to love again; scared to death to lose people again. Last time I thought, I was moving away from my parents; I didn’t help them. Now do you see my own impulsive decisions origins? Yuki left the last question unanswered, rubbing her sore and throbbing chest as she slipped back into her home, closing the door and locking it as she drifted upstairs. As she wandered around her room for a chamber pot, her mind piped up again.
Why did you let the past haunt you?
Yuki had an answer, but left it behind her lips as she put a trash can next to her bed. Rubbing her chest and slipping out of her outfit into her pajamas, she grimaced. Lovely. She thought as she slipped into her bed, nuzzling her face into the pillow. All the answers, questions and thoughts she had would have to wait until morning.
------
Yuki woke up in a flash, leaning over her bed and into the chamber pot as her body shook. She gave a pained groan before retching up what she had for dinner last night, her skin going pale. She began to dry heave, her hair spilling over her shoulders as she leaned closer, nearly toppling over the bed. Yuki closed her eyes, pushing herself up and taking deep breaths as she did so, putting herself on the floor quietly as she felt another round start again.
Yuki didn’t notice the sound of the door opening until she felt hands on her shoulders, hands slipping under her arms and pulling her up. “Rimmy! How hard did you push yourself?” Yuki couldn’t tell who was who, and didn’t bother with an answer. There were more voices, and eventually Yuki ended up keeling over a chamber pot that Umren pulled out in time, and Umren took on the dutiful sister role as Styn rubbed Yuki’s back as she held her long hair back. Any remnants of the retching was the smell alone, but it was common to have terrible odors in her room.
Yuki managed a groan, before speaking, washing her hands. “How.. What, was I that loud?”
“I needed to go to the bathroom but decided to check on you. Last night you seemed like you were troubled, and that you were probably going to be up painting... and then I heard you retch, so I grabbed Styn and well, here we are.” Umren replied casually, but her eyes held worry. Adriyll came teetering down the stairs, her eyes bleary as she took in the scene around her. “Ah Adriyll!” Umren said, giving her a smile. “I need you to grab Rikojuu; I don’t think Rimmy can make it over to her house.” Umren looked outside, surprise coloring her face. It was only morning, barely around the time Rikojuu would be up... oh well, at least it was close. Adriyll gave a nod before sprinting out the door, the door left ajar as her figure disappeared. Styn moved quickly to shut the door, Umren speaking in soft tones and sweet nothings to keep Yuki going.
It wasn’t until a few long minutes later that Rikojuu walked in, her eyes scanning the area for Yuki, clucking her tongue as she looked at her, Adriyll trailing along and moving to hug Umren. Rikojuu wore a simple white dress with a pouch slung across her shoulders, resting at her hip. She had on a pair of slippers, simplistic as she walked around, sighing. “Another case of pushing yourself too hard?” Rikojuu mumbled, moving towards her. Rikojuu pulled out a medium sized jar full of green liquid, and as soon as Yuki saw it, Yuki let out a mix of a groan and whimper. “Oh shut it; its the only thing that I had made already.” Rikojuu led Yuki to the table and put the jar down, screwing the top off and pointing at it. “Drink it.”
Yuki didn’t have enough fight to make another groan, simply complying to the older woman’s wishes as she pulled a face, the disgusting taste running down her throat and into her stomach. Lowering it to catch a breath, Yuki set it on the table, making a grumbling noise. “I think my stomach may be eating itself.” Yuki turned to Rikojuu weakly, worry spreading over her face as Rikojuu stood there in silence. “Well, I’m sure it’ll pass.” She said, shrugging slightly before turning back and drinking more, albeit still eyeing it and seeing if was poisonous.
“You did use the salve I put in your pouch... right?” Rikojuu asked, but all of them knew the answer: No.
Yuki ignored her, and focused on finishing the drink. She gave a shrug and Adriyll piped up. “I.. I accidently ate some.” Rikojuu raised an eyebrow at the child but said nothing, only turning back and monitoring Yuki with a close eye. “It was bad...” Adriyll muttered, clinging onto Umren.
Rikojuu helped Yuki up, sighing. “Alright, enough of drinking that, you need rest. I don’t care if you’re on sentry duty or not.” Yuki simply dragged herself after, Styn and Umren starting to clean the mess in the kitchen while Adriyll ran behind Yuki, closing her small hand around hers and giving it a gentle squeeze. Yuki gave her a weak squeeze back, crawling into bed and releasing a groan of pain when she touched her chest. “You’re to stay in bed for the next few hours until I come back with something stronger and more effective. Adriyll,” Rikojuu snapped, “I want you to keep track of her. Make sure she doesn’t leave, got it?” Adriyll nodded furiously, standing up straight and giving her a mock salute.
Yuki rolled over, pushing her face into the pillow as she fell back into the clutches of sleep. Dammit.
What a way to start the day.
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It was around noon when Umren stepped into Yuki’s room, her older sister fast asleep with her back turned to the door. Rikojuu wasn’t too far behind, and she gave the woman a nod before sitting beside Yuki, the chair dutifully silent as she sat down. “What was wrong?” Umren asked, keeping her eyes on her sister.
“Her stomach is troubling her again; it hasn’t been the first time either. I believe it started when she was twelve, and she never really took care of the problem.” Rikojuu replied, walking over and putting the new medicine on the nightstand next to the bed. Stepping back, she sighed. “Well, that and your mother had it too. Nasty case, really. It really starts when the said person pushes themselves too far physically, and they do nothing about it.” Giving the sleeping teenager a glance, Rikojuu crossed her arms. “I’m sure there’s a reason.”
Umren nodded silently, watching as her sister’s chest rose and fell in a normal pattern. “There’s more to this than her illness, isn’t there?” She asked quietly, not taking her eyes off of her sister’s rising chest.
“Of course. This is Rymothyia; she’s got a few things to... well, smooth out.”
“Running away from things is her main problem... but you do know that she may leave for good this time, right? That she may be even, and I hate to say it, be executed if they don’t vote for her.”
“Yes, I know, but what about the news about the Duke’s scouts getting too close to our village? They’ve been more abrasive and more aggressive with their movements recently.” She scoffed softly, rolling her eyes at Rikojuu’s expression. “Oh don’t act surprised; Mesir talks too loud behind closed doors and open windows. Anyways,” she said, waving it off, “I’m starting to get worried we won’t have enough time to move our entire village again. We’re lucky this was neutral territory beforehand... But, also, what about the fact that some of our Sari’l are going missing?”
“The Sari’l were on a mission that they knew they couldn’t come back. But, Umren, you’ve brought up good points. We’ve lost too many Sari’l to fight anyone, but maybe Yuki can substitute for one... Who knows? The Guardians may not accept her.” Rikojuu mused, mumbling to herself before coming back to the conversation. “I’ll see if she can recover quickly enough to be deployed on the next mission that’ll happen in a fortnight. Make sure she drinks the medicine, okay?”
“Of course.”
And with that, Rikojuu left to make preparations while Umren stayed with her sister, brushing her hair and muttering into her hand. Umren stayed with her until she was positive Yuki wouldn’t wake up for a while, and as she got up, Umren pressed her forehead to Yuki’s to check her temperature. “Nothing bad so far... good.” Umren gave her sister a kiss on the forehead before walking out of the room, shutting the door as she walked out.
However, during this series of events no one had noticed that one Kail’n’s servant was outside the window, listening intently, and as Umren closed the door, he scurried off.
It was time to take Yuki out for good.
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