From Russia...

I had been dreading this moment since I fell asleep. I felt around the bed hoping maybe he had just rolled out of my reach or something but when I cracked my eyes open the bed was empty.

I sat up in a hurry as my eyes darted around the room hoping to see him there. He wasn’t though, his things that were on the table were no longer there just a note and a small trinket.

I climbed out of bed and approached the note with caution, maybe it would be better if I didn’t read it just leave with what we had last night.

I couldn’t bring myself to pick it up, at least not yet and went and took a shower. It was much needed to feel alive before our long flight home. It was going to be sad to say goodbye to this place.

I got out of the shower and got dressed quickly knowing I would have to be back to the hostel in time to pack before our afternoon flight.

I was seriously contemplating leaving the note there but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. At the same time I couldn’t bring myself to read it either, so I scrunched it up in frustration and shoved it in the jacket of my pocket with the trinket and grabbed my things before leaving.

How could I let him get to me? Why was I doing this to myself? If I just forgot about him I could have a clean slate when I got home. It was easier said than done though.

“Hey did you have fun last night?” Brandon wiggled his eyebrows at me.
“Fuck off,” I grumbled sitting on the empty bunk underneath mine and snatched my bags to start packing.

“Ayren are you ok?” Emma sat on the bed next to me and put a warm hand on my back.
“No,” I pulled away lying down letting the warmth of the blankets help me feel better as I began to cry.
“Sweetie,” she pulled me into her arms, “did something happen?”
“He just left,” I cried as she ran her hand through my hair, “he didn’t even say goodbye.”
“Ayren,” she sounded so sad for me but I didn't care, "once we get back home you will too busy with Uni you won't have time to think about him."

"Come here," Brandon was surprisingly reassuring as he held me, "I am sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
"It's not your fault," I tried to wipe at the tears but they just wouldn't stop flowing.
"Did he just not say anything?" He grabbed my chin and made me look at him.
"He left this," I pulled away and reached into my pocket pulling out the little bird trinket and note.
"Have you read it?" Emma piped up.
"No."
"Well what are you waiting for? Go ahead," she sat on the bed next to us.

I could feel Brandon's eyes over my shoulder as I unwrapped the note and laid it on my knee so I could flatten all the crinkles out trying to waste time.
"Ayren," Brandon was on my case though and I couldn't delay it anymore.

So with a warm hand on my back I took a depth breath and flipped it over.

'Ayren,
 I am sorry about leaving like this but I just can't say goodbye, I don't want to say goodbye. Maybe one day we will find each other again, but until then I want you to know I love you.
Evgeni'