Status: :) R&R and I love you.
Abused
Nine
This time it feels different.
I am sitting on my bed, waiting for Zak. He stayed for the night, just like he promised me he'd. This day has been so long and so weird. Many bad things were followed by good things, such as Zak. I never though that he would actually get in here to see how I am doing. And I never thought that we would end up kissing pretty passionately in my kitchen. I mean, Zak Bagans and ME, honestly.. Holy cow.
I can hear the muffled sound of water in the toilet. Zak's probably brushing his teeth, or something. It's like one kiss (okay, three actually) changed everything. Earlier he was like a brother, or a guardian angel, and suddenly he's become the best boyfriend of the world. I am not sure if we are together, but I am sure that kiss meant something. At least it was passionate. I smirk.
Soon I can hear Zak close the door somewhere and then I hear his footsteps from the hallway. I can see how the door opens and Zak steps inside. His hair looks pretty messy, it's no longer gelled up like it usually is. He calls it 'Zak fin'. I roll my eyes. How much time he has spent fixing and doing his hair? I have never seen his hair without gel before, and I think it looks better without. It looks natural. And there is not that much difference.
Zak just stands by the door and stares at me. And I am doing it again. I am staring at him. I have done it so often that I don't even register it anymore. I grin and look away, trying to hide my face. In the corner of my eye I can see his gorgeous smile. This time I feel like I have the right to stare at him. I am not going to say that he is mine or anything, because we are not together like that, at least not yet. I would like to, but I am not going to say anything. I'll let it be his decision. If he asks me out or something, I wont hesitate to say yes though.
I wake up from my thoughts when I feel the bed dip and I notice Zak next to me. I can feel the inviting heat of his body and it makes me want to cuddle close to him, but I am not sure if I should. Like said before, we are not together. This time it doesn't feel awkward to sleep next to him. I didn't run to his hotel room in the middle of the night, escaping something that might be creation of my own imagination.. This time he is in my house, protecting me from the world. Especially from my dad.
"Wanna go to sleep?" he asks and I just nod and smile. He is adorable. His voice sounds a bit sleepy, raspy. "Yeah.." I mumble. He grabs a blanket and lays down on the bed. I do the same, and stay on the other side of the bed, hugging my warm pillow.
"Nad..", Zak suddenly whispers. I turn around to see a pair of shining blue eyes. "Zak.." I say and smile. "You are so far away", he states and holds out his arm. I crawl closer to him and don't hesitate to wrap my arms around him. He is so warm and I feel very safe. Maybe it feels like hugging a giant, because he's so big compared to me. I breathe in his scent and feel sleepy. Is there a better way to sleep than here, close to him, on his arms?
He wraps his hand comfortingly around me and I shiver when I feel that hand on my back. I nuzzle my face on his neck and I feel the beat of his heart against his chest. I smile and breathe against his neck. It smells like Zak. Pure and fresh.
I feel how my eyes flicker closed too soon. I would just like to stay awake and lay close to him. I love him. Even though we have known each other for such a short time. I love him. It can't be anything else than love.
I feel how Zak's body shakes when he suddenly chuckles. "What?" I whisper in the dim light. "You asleep?" he questions and I roll my eyes. Yes, Zak, I just answered you in my sleep. "No." He wraps his hands tighter around me and brings his lips centimetres away from mine. They are achingly close and it's very hard to resist the urge to kiss him. I want to give him the pleasure of doing it first.
But he just stares at me. I can't help running my hand down the strong back. I can feel his muscles tighten and shiver under my touch. He brings his lips close to mine and leans closer to kiss me. His perfect, soft lips touch mine, hesitatingly at first, then rougher. He tastes like mint and something very masculine. Something like Zak.
I smile and stop to breathe. He brings his lips to mine soon again and kisses my lower lip. Then I can feel his lips brush my cheek and my neck, close to my ear. He kisses me once and then whispers: "Sleep tight sweetie." I reach out for his hand and entwine our fingers. His hand feels big and strong in mine. I squeeze it and he lazily returns the soft squeeze. "Sleep well Zak."
**
I feel how my eyes flicker open. It was the weirdest dream ever! It was a dream, right? I reach out my hand to touch the spot next to me, expecting it to be empty, but I am surprised by the warmth of Zak's body. Geez, I really kissed him last night, didn't I? Sometimes my dreams feel so real, and especially in the middle of the night or early in the morning it's hard for me to remember my own name.
A smile spreads on my face, when I softly run my hand down Zak's arm. I can hear him mumble something and I can see a tiny smile on his lips. I touch his shoulder and then quickly let go to get up and see the clock.
At least it has been a different week. That's all I can really say.
I take a look at the clock on the table next me, and see that it's 10:38 am. We have been asleep for quite a while, and maybe I should wake Zak up, but he looks just so adorable when he's asleep. He is dreaming so peacefully. He even still has a smile on his face.
I decide to get up and go in the kitchen to make some coffee. Maybe the scent will wake him up. I smile and try to get up as quietly as I can. I turn my back to Zak and sit up. I place my feet on the edge of the bed. Just when I am about to jump on the floor like a ninja, I hear Zak mumble something and sit up.
"Where are you going?" He mumbles sleepily. I just smile and turn to look at him. He looks cute, with his messy hair and sleepy face. "Just was about to make some coffee.. I'm sorry.. Did I wake you up?" I manage to say and keep staring at him. He just smiles and shakes his head a no. "No no, I was just about to get up.." He says and reaches out his hand to touch mine. I feel my hand shiver when his soft hand drags down my arm. "Good morning beautiful."
Really. That's all it took and I was his. I knew I would be. No matter what. No one has ever called me beautiful. EVER. Zak Bagans, you just stole my heart.
I muffle a giggle and manage to breathe out a 'morning'. I get up and shiver when my feet touch the cold floor. "It's so fucking cold in the morning", I whine. I walk to the door and stop there, staring in the kitchen. Should I maybe wait for Zak to get up too?
Nah. He's a grown man, maybe he can find his way to the kitchen without me. I roll my eyes at the thought. Then I wander in the kitchen and start getting the coffee ready. I usually drink tea, mainly because I think it's healthier than coffee, but today I really feel like I am in need of a coffee. Soon the delightful scent fills the kitchen. And I was right, I can hear Zak's footsteps somewhere nearby.
He stops somewhere behind me, and I open a door to get some cups. I suddenly feel his breath against my neck and hell, I almost fall on my knees. He really makes me forget my own name sometimes! He wraps his arms around me and I feel his hands on my waist. "Damn it Zak! It should be forbidden to be like.." He chuckles and pulls me close to him. "Like what?" He questions. "Like.. Like.." I try to come up with a good word describing what he's doing, but I am soon distracted by the touch of his lips on my neck. "Like that!" I whine and press my body close to his. He kisses a small trail down my neck. "You like it though.." He murmurs and I curse him inside my head.
He then just grabs my hand and whispers in my ear: "Gonna drink the coffee now when it's still hot?" I squeeze his hand angrily and then just nod. Damn you Zak! You are HOTTER than the fucking coffee. "Yeah.." I say and finally manage to get the cup.
I place two cups of coffee on the table and sit down next to him. I take a sip of my coffee and feel less sleepy right away. Caffeine.
"Wanna know more about next lockdown?" Zak casually asks and I just nod. "Yeah, sure. Tell me everything" I say and smile brightly. He grins. "Well, not everything. I may have some surprises for you" He says and winks. I glare at him. "You did that on purpose!" I say and smack him on the shoulder. He laughs and rolls his eyes. "But I'll pick you up tomorrow at 8 am with the guys.." I nod and take another sip of my almost too cold coffee. "Please tell me we are not going to fly!" I say. He chuckles. "No, we don't have to fly." I grin. That's good news.
"Now tell me what's the surprise!" I say and glare at him playfully. "How would it be a surprise if I told you?" He asks and laughs at my reaction. "You dick", I mumble. "What was that?" He smirks. I roll my eyes. "I said YOU DI-" But the distracts me by pressing his lips roughly against mine.
Fuck it. I'll find out what you have in mind, Bagans.
I am sitting on my bed, waiting for Zak. He stayed for the night, just like he promised me he'd. This day has been so long and so weird. Many bad things were followed by good things, such as Zak. I never though that he would actually get in here to see how I am doing. And I never thought that we would end up kissing pretty passionately in my kitchen. I mean, Zak Bagans and ME, honestly.. Holy cow.
I can hear the muffled sound of water in the toilet. Zak's probably brushing his teeth, or something. It's like one kiss (okay, three actually) changed everything. Earlier he was like a brother, or a guardian angel, and suddenly he's become the best boyfriend of the world. I am not sure if we are together, but I am sure that kiss meant something. At least it was passionate. I smirk.
Soon I can hear Zak close the door somewhere and then I hear his footsteps from the hallway. I can see how the door opens and Zak steps inside. His hair looks pretty messy, it's no longer gelled up like it usually is. He calls it 'Zak fin'. I roll my eyes. How much time he has spent fixing and doing his hair? I have never seen his hair without gel before, and I think it looks better without. It looks natural. And there is not that much difference.
Zak just stands by the door and stares at me. And I am doing it again. I am staring at him. I have done it so often that I don't even register it anymore. I grin and look away, trying to hide my face. In the corner of my eye I can see his gorgeous smile. This time I feel like I have the right to stare at him. I am not going to say that he is mine or anything, because we are not together like that, at least not yet. I would like to, but I am not going to say anything. I'll let it be his decision. If he asks me out or something, I wont hesitate to say yes though.
I wake up from my thoughts when I feel the bed dip and I notice Zak next to me. I can feel the inviting heat of his body and it makes me want to cuddle close to him, but I am not sure if I should. Like said before, we are not together. This time it doesn't feel awkward to sleep next to him. I didn't run to his hotel room in the middle of the night, escaping something that might be creation of my own imagination.. This time he is in my house, protecting me from the world. Especially from my dad.
"Wanna go to sleep?" he asks and I just nod and smile. He is adorable. His voice sounds a bit sleepy, raspy. "Yeah.." I mumble. He grabs a blanket and lays down on the bed. I do the same, and stay on the other side of the bed, hugging my warm pillow.
"Nad..", Zak suddenly whispers. I turn around to see a pair of shining blue eyes. "Zak.." I say and smile. "You are so far away", he states and holds out his arm. I crawl closer to him and don't hesitate to wrap my arms around him. He is so warm and I feel very safe. Maybe it feels like hugging a giant, because he's so big compared to me. I breathe in his scent and feel sleepy. Is there a better way to sleep than here, close to him, on his arms?
He wraps his hand comfortingly around me and I shiver when I feel that hand on my back. I nuzzle my face on his neck and I feel the beat of his heart against his chest. I smile and breathe against his neck. It smells like Zak. Pure and fresh.
I feel how my eyes flicker closed too soon. I would just like to stay awake and lay close to him. I love him. Even though we have known each other for such a short time. I love him. It can't be anything else than love.
I feel how Zak's body shakes when he suddenly chuckles. "What?" I whisper in the dim light. "You asleep?" he questions and I roll my eyes. Yes, Zak, I just answered you in my sleep. "No." He wraps his hands tighter around me and brings his lips centimetres away from mine. They are achingly close and it's very hard to resist the urge to kiss him. I want to give him the pleasure of doing it first.
But he just stares at me. I can't help running my hand down the strong back. I can feel his muscles tighten and shiver under my touch. He brings his lips close to mine and leans closer to kiss me. His perfect, soft lips touch mine, hesitatingly at first, then rougher. He tastes like mint and something very masculine. Something like Zak.
I smile and stop to breathe. He brings his lips to mine soon again and kisses my lower lip. Then I can feel his lips brush my cheek and my neck, close to my ear. He kisses me once and then whispers: "Sleep tight sweetie." I reach out for his hand and entwine our fingers. His hand feels big and strong in mine. I squeeze it and he lazily returns the soft squeeze. "Sleep well Zak."
**
I feel how my eyes flicker open. It was the weirdest dream ever! It was a dream, right? I reach out my hand to touch the spot next to me, expecting it to be empty, but I am surprised by the warmth of Zak's body. Geez, I really kissed him last night, didn't I? Sometimes my dreams feel so real, and especially in the middle of the night or early in the morning it's hard for me to remember my own name.
A smile spreads on my face, when I softly run my hand down Zak's arm. I can hear him mumble something and I can see a tiny smile on his lips. I touch his shoulder and then quickly let go to get up and see the clock.
At least it has been a different week. That's all I can really say.
I take a look at the clock on the table next me, and see that it's 10:38 am. We have been asleep for quite a while, and maybe I should wake Zak up, but he looks just so adorable when he's asleep. He is dreaming so peacefully. He even still has a smile on his face.
I decide to get up and go in the kitchen to make some coffee. Maybe the scent will wake him up. I smile and try to get up as quietly as I can. I turn my back to Zak and sit up. I place my feet on the edge of the bed. Just when I am about to jump on the floor like a ninja, I hear Zak mumble something and sit up.
"Where are you going?" He mumbles sleepily. I just smile and turn to look at him. He looks cute, with his messy hair and sleepy face. "Just was about to make some coffee.. I'm sorry.. Did I wake you up?" I manage to say and keep staring at him. He just smiles and shakes his head a no. "No no, I was just about to get up.." He says and reaches out his hand to touch mine. I feel my hand shiver when his soft hand drags down my arm. "Good morning beautiful."
Really. That's all it took and I was his. I knew I would be. No matter what. No one has ever called me beautiful. EVER. Zak Bagans, you just stole my heart.
I muffle a giggle and manage to breathe out a 'morning'. I get up and shiver when my feet touch the cold floor. "It's so fucking cold in the morning", I whine. I walk to the door and stop there, staring in the kitchen. Should I maybe wait for Zak to get up too?
Nah. He's a grown man, maybe he can find his way to the kitchen without me. I roll my eyes at the thought. Then I wander in the kitchen and start getting the coffee ready. I usually drink tea, mainly because I think it's healthier than coffee, but today I really feel like I am in need of a coffee. Soon the delightful scent fills the kitchen. And I was right, I can hear Zak's footsteps somewhere nearby.
He stops somewhere behind me, and I open a door to get some cups. I suddenly feel his breath against my neck and hell, I almost fall on my knees. He really makes me forget my own name sometimes! He wraps his arms around me and I feel his hands on my waist. "Damn it Zak! It should be forbidden to be like.." He chuckles and pulls me close to him. "Like what?" He questions. "Like.. Like.." I try to come up with a good word describing what he's doing, but I am soon distracted by the touch of his lips on my neck. "Like that!" I whine and press my body close to his. He kisses a small trail down my neck. "You like it though.." He murmurs and I curse him inside my head.
He then just grabs my hand and whispers in my ear: "Gonna drink the coffee now when it's still hot?" I squeeze his hand angrily and then just nod. Damn you Zak! You are HOTTER than the fucking coffee. "Yeah.." I say and finally manage to get the cup.
I place two cups of coffee on the table and sit down next to him. I take a sip of my coffee and feel less sleepy right away. Caffeine.
"Wanna know more about next lockdown?" Zak casually asks and I just nod. "Yeah, sure. Tell me everything" I say and smile brightly. He grins. "Well, not everything. I may have some surprises for you" He says and winks. I glare at him. "You did that on purpose!" I say and smack him on the shoulder. He laughs and rolls his eyes. "But I'll pick you up tomorrow at 8 am with the guys.." I nod and take another sip of my almost too cold coffee. "Please tell me we are not going to fly!" I say. He chuckles. "No, we don't have to fly." I grin. That's good news.
"Now tell me what's the surprise!" I say and glare at him playfully. "How would it be a surprise if I told you?" He asks and laughs at my reaction. "You dick", I mumble. "What was that?" He smirks. I roll my eyes. "I said YOU DI-" But the distracts me by pressing his lips roughly against mine.
Fuck it. I'll find out what you have in mind, Bagans.