Status: :) R&R and I love you.
Abused
Eleven
I have been unable to sleep anymore, even though it's soon morning. Actually, to be specific, it is right now 4 am. We stopped to eat something a few hours ago, but I am not hungry. I usually don't eat breakfast and not especially in the middle of night, after sleeping absolutely zero hours.
The car stops in front of a hotel. It's a large, grey building that has lots of windows. The building itself looks pretty old, maybe around 70 years or so. It looks cozy, though. There is a big glass door and some lights. I can see some shadows that I expect to be trees and other plants. I can see that there are some red seats and wooden tables in the area that I expect to be the reception. Looks.. Classy? Normal?
I open the door and step outside in the cool air. Even though it is night and the sun is down, somewhere far far away, it's not cold, just a bit cool. The wind blows, but it's pretty warm, and feels good against my skin. I stretch my feet after sitting for too many hours. They are aching a bit, but nothing too bad. Not half as bad I expected.
Nick opens the trunk and I grab my own bag. I can't think about anything better than getting a room of my own where I can just sleep. But oh fuck, I can't sleep until three pm, because we have some stuff planned for tomorrow. I just assume that nothing too much, because especially Nick and Aaron need a good and long sleep. Otherwise they will sleep for the whole lockdown. Or sleepwalk. And that would mean that we drove all those hundreds of miles here to sleep. No thanks. Shut up mind.
I suddenly feel someone behind me and turn back to look. I notice Zak, who wraps his arms around me. His body feels warm against mine and his hands feel so soft. I can't help sighing and leaning closer to him. He just chuckles lightly and places his head on my shoulder, right against my neck. I tilt my head, allowing him to nuzzle his head against my neck. I am too tired to care about his fucking little teases anymore.
"Lemme have this?" he asks and lightly touches my hand that is holding the bag. I mumble something and hand him my super heavy bag. But, Zak makes it seem so easy. As if my bag weighed nothing. I roll my eyes. Sometimes it feels like he had some kind of super powers or something. He heads inside and I just tiredly follow him.
I sit down on one of the chairs. I stare at Zak from a distance. He is speaking with a receptionist and looks slightly annoyed. I am too tired to care about that, either. I usually don't stay up all night. I don't use alcohol, and I don't really party so I am not used to it. Sometimes I used to stay up late when I did my work and other geeky stuff, and during our lockdowns, of course. But otherwise never.
Aaron sleeps on one of the chairs. His position looks very uncomfortable, his head resting on his hand. If it wasn't a night, and if I didn't know how long way he's just driven, I might wake him up the way he did Zak. But right now, it's out of the question.
Perhaps I could close my eyes for just a bit..
"Hey. Nad, sweetie, wake up.." Who is calling me a 'sweetie'? I open my eyes. Oh, right. I fell asleep on the fucking chair. "Zak", I whisper and he smiles. "Let's go upstairs", he says and offers me his hand. I take it and get lazily up. "I'm just so fucking tired", I say and chuckle. He smirks. "Best be quick if you wanna pick your bed!" He says and rushes towards the elevator. Zak, really? Really? "Is that a challenge?" I say and run after him.
He is too slow and doesn't manage to get in the elevator early enough. I get inside and press him against the wall. "You are so fucking annoying sometimes, Zak", I whisper. He smirks again and presses a button behind his back. The doors close and the elevator starts moving. I press my lips roughly against his and kiss him passionately. When I back off to get some air, I murmur: "That was for teasing me in the car." He chuckles. "I deserved it", he agrees.
We walk in the hallway, and stop in front of room 345. I can see Aaron and Nick a couple of doors away from us so I wave at them. Nick stares at a piece of plastic in his hands, obviously looking for his room. He stops at the door 346. "I really am gonna fall asleep if I won't get this door open", he mumbles and tries hard to get the keycard to work. Finally he succeeds and I hear a metallic click and the door opens. He steps inside and smiles. "Sleep well", he says and closes the door behind him. "You too", I reply and hope that he heard it trough the door, which doesn't seem to be too thick.
Aaron walks past us and stops in front of the door 344. "This is mine.. Well, good night guys", he says and pushes his door roughly open. "Oh.. And keep it PG in your room. Don't wanna hear anything in the night", he says and laughs. "Aaron!" Zak almost yells and I roll my eyes. Wait, what? Our room?
Aaron closes the door before I get to ask. Bastard.
"We share a room?" I ask and stare at the door. He just huffs amusedly and nods. "Have done that before.. Thought that 'cause they messed up with our rooms, it would be fair to give Nick and Aaron a good sleep", he says. I just nod. Yeah, of course they deserve to sleep. Besides, even though I won't admit it, this was my secret wish. To share the bed with Zak. I kinda felt that I would feel so lonely if I had to sleep alone after sharing the bed with him.
Zak opens the door with the key card in his hands. I follow him inside and right away throw my bag on the wooden floor. "Tired?" he asks and I just nod lazily. "Yeah.."
The room is pretty nice. Floors are dark wood, walls are white. On one of the walls, there are two large windows, right now covered with red curtains. I also notice a small door that leads to a balcony. In the middle of the room, there is a huge double bed, covered with a black blanket. There are some extra pillows and I notice a couple of fresh towels, that are laying neatly on the bed.
Zak places his own bag on the floor, next to the bed. Then he just slowly walks to the balcony door and opens it. I can immediately feel the cool summer wind, and it feels amazing on my skin. He steps outside and disappears in the night.
I hesitate for a while before following him. I feel so tired that I am not sure if I can stay awake all the way to the balcony and back here.
I open the door more and step outside. It's dark everywhere, but otherwise it looks very beautiful. Usually I don't enjoy the darkness around me too much, but right now, because I know that Zak is right next to me, I feel safe. I can see dim lights of the city somewhere far. I can see the moon, and I can see Zak, right next to me. I step closer and our arms touch. I shiver.
Zak is just staring at the sky. Suddenly, he wraps his arms around me and brings me closer to himself. "It's so beautiful", I whisper. "Yeah..", he mumbles. I feel his warm breath on my skin. I look at all the stars I can see, and right now I feel like we are just one tiny piece in something greater. In the huge universe. "I wonder if I can see all the way to the Milky way", I mumble and he just lightly chuckles and then shrugs. "Perhaps." His whisper stays in the air, and repeats all over and over again. Perhaps.
**
I open my eyes when I feel the light of the morning sun on my face. It's hot , actually. It's too hot. I kick the blanket away, on the floor and look around. It's not dark anymore, the whole room looks lighter now. I am sleeping on my pyjama shorts and a top that I didn't even know I had with me. I have no clear image of yesterday, whatsoever. I remember watching the stars on the balcony with Zak, I remember kissing him on the bed and then I remember sitting on the chair with my pyjama shorts and top on. So I probably fell asleep there, but didn't wake up and was somehow moved to the bed.
I feel an arm wrapped around my waist and I smile. This is one of the things I love about Zak. Sharing the bed with him, and waking up in the morning, so close to him. It's like I could see the real Zak first thing in the morning when he wakes up. He doesn't have any gel in his hair, or any of his "TV- clothes" on.. Or the voice he uses for Ghost Adventures, none of it is visible. I can be together with the real Zak Bagans, the Zak I love.
I crawl closer to him and watch him sleep. I don't know if this is the right word for it, but he looks absolutely beautiful right now. He is dreaming so peacefully, his eyes squeezed shut, his dark lashes together. I miss the sleepy blue of his eyes when he wakes up, so I decide to wake him up. (and check the clock first).
I get up from the bed and sneak on the other side of the bed. It would have been easier to just crawl over Zak, but he would have woken up and if it's early in the morning, he would have killed me. So it's better to take the longer way. I reach for his phone and click a button to see if something happens. It's a white iphone. Really. Aaron always teases him about 'Girls have white iphones, guys have black". The phone is locked, but I can still see the clock. It's 1:23 pm. Wow. It seems late, but when I start to count hours, I really have slept for about eight hours or so. We stayed awake until 5:10 am or later last night with Zak. I wonder if Aaron or Nick are awake.
I decide that it's time to wake Zak up. I walk back to my own side of the large double bed and sit down. Then I lay quietly down, careful not to make any sounds. I crawl right next to Zak and grab his hand gently. I wrap it back around my waist, right where it was when I first woke up. Then I turn to face him and lean closer. I gently press my lips on his nose, wondering if that wakes him up. He just huffs and smiles gently. I obviously need to try something else.
I move my lips to his neck, and kiss rougher. He doesn't react at all. I drag my lips on his neck, until I find a spot that seems to be sensitive. "Zak", I whisper. He breathes out something and his eyes flicker open. It takes him some time to register what is happening but once he realises, he smirks. "Couldn't keep your hands off of me even when I was asleep?" he says and chuckles. I roll my eyes. He places his free hand in my hair and brings my lips closer to his for a morning kiss. This kiss is so soft, so gentle, but yet so powerful and strong. Rough. "Good morning Zak", I whisper when I move to get some air.
He (too soon) gets up to get in the shower. I have to admit that I may have been stalking at him when he took off his shirt and the smirk on his face told me that I got caught. All I can say is that he has a hot chest. And arms. And back.
Right now I can hear the sound of water running in the small bathroom, and I am just laying on the bed, waiting for Zak. I know that it's going to be a long process before we can go and get something to eat, because he'll need to do his hair, which probably takes an hour. And of course he needs to choose the best clothes for the day and all. I roll my eyes, again. Zak is concerned about his own look and it's cute, because it's like he didn't know that he is the sexiest man alive.
I hear a knock on the door and obviously Zak hears it too, because the sound of running water stops. "Hey Nad.. Wanna go see who's there?" he shouts trough the bathroom door. I just nod, because I forget that he can't see me. Nadine, you have to stop responding by nodding to everything. Seriously, I do it even on phone. "Yeah, sure", I answer and rush to get the door. I assume it to be either Nick, Aaron or both.
I open the door and look outside. And yeah, I was right. I am greeted by Nick's face. "Mornin'", he says and smiles. I smile back and greet him with a nod. "Zak's in the shower", I say and grin. Nick nods. "Kay, I'm heading to get some food. Wanna join?" he asks. Hell yeah, I am hungry. But would it be fair to leave Zak here? Nadine, he can surely manage by himself in the shower for some minutes. "Yeah, I'll just.." I start and rush back in the bedroom. "Hey Zak, wanna get something to eat?" I ask. He doesn't seem to hear, so I knock on the door.
I hear a muffled 'yeah', and repeat my question. "Sure, anything", he answers and once the water starts running again, I head outside the door together with Nick. I am wearing my sweatpants and one of my casual shirts. My hair is a probably a mess and I didn't bother to put on any make up, because I'd mess it up anyway by going in the shower soon.
"Where's Aaron?" I ask Nick, who just shrugs. "Sleepin' maybe", he says and I nod. We walk to the elevator in silence. Like I've said, Nick is more like the father-type to me. He is maybe a tiny bit more shy than Zak (or Aaron, hell), but the silence between us is not the awkward type of silence. It's just that you don't have to say anything when you really have nothing to say. I hate the kind of situations when you have to figure out dumb things to say just to prevent the silence.
Downstairs there is a small cafe. We get inside and are greeted by the scent of fresh coffee. It makes me hungry. There are small tables and some chairs all over the place. In the corners, there are some couches and long tables. We walk near a table that has food (yay!) on it and some fresh drinks.
Nick chooses something for himself. I get two chocolate muffins and some white bread with cheese and salad for me and Zak. I also get myself an apple tea and a black coffee for Zak. I have no idea how he likes his coffee, so I just grab two small sugar bags with me. Nick seems to have a croissant and a tea.
We head back to the door, and that is when I notice a familiar figure, sitting on one of the couches. I run there and sit down, almost jumping on him. "Aaron!" I giggle. He's been here for the whole time, eating. "Mornings Nad", he says and places his phone on the table. What a surprise, he's tweeting. I don't have to ask what he had for breakfast, I can read it on Twitter.
Aaron pockets his phone and follows us upstairs. After all, we are going to check out the lockdown location today for the first time, even though the lockdown itself is tomorrow. I am excited, a tiny bit tired already and absolutely HUNGRY.
The car stops in front of a hotel. It's a large, grey building that has lots of windows. The building itself looks pretty old, maybe around 70 years or so. It looks cozy, though. There is a big glass door and some lights. I can see some shadows that I expect to be trees and other plants. I can see that there are some red seats and wooden tables in the area that I expect to be the reception. Looks.. Classy? Normal?
I open the door and step outside in the cool air. Even though it is night and the sun is down, somewhere far far away, it's not cold, just a bit cool. The wind blows, but it's pretty warm, and feels good against my skin. I stretch my feet after sitting for too many hours. They are aching a bit, but nothing too bad. Not half as bad I expected.
Nick opens the trunk and I grab my own bag. I can't think about anything better than getting a room of my own where I can just sleep. But oh fuck, I can't sleep until three pm, because we have some stuff planned for tomorrow. I just assume that nothing too much, because especially Nick and Aaron need a good and long sleep. Otherwise they will sleep for the whole lockdown. Or sleepwalk. And that would mean that we drove all those hundreds of miles here to sleep. No thanks. Shut up mind.
I suddenly feel someone behind me and turn back to look. I notice Zak, who wraps his arms around me. His body feels warm against mine and his hands feel so soft. I can't help sighing and leaning closer to him. He just chuckles lightly and places his head on my shoulder, right against my neck. I tilt my head, allowing him to nuzzle his head against my neck. I am too tired to care about his fucking little teases anymore.
"Lemme have this?" he asks and lightly touches my hand that is holding the bag. I mumble something and hand him my super heavy bag. But, Zak makes it seem so easy. As if my bag weighed nothing. I roll my eyes. Sometimes it feels like he had some kind of super powers or something. He heads inside and I just tiredly follow him.
I sit down on one of the chairs. I stare at Zak from a distance. He is speaking with a receptionist and looks slightly annoyed. I am too tired to care about that, either. I usually don't stay up all night. I don't use alcohol, and I don't really party so I am not used to it. Sometimes I used to stay up late when I did my work and other geeky stuff, and during our lockdowns, of course. But otherwise never.
Aaron sleeps on one of the chairs. His position looks very uncomfortable, his head resting on his hand. If it wasn't a night, and if I didn't know how long way he's just driven, I might wake him up the way he did Zak. But right now, it's out of the question.
Perhaps I could close my eyes for just a bit..
"Hey. Nad, sweetie, wake up.." Who is calling me a 'sweetie'? I open my eyes. Oh, right. I fell asleep on the fucking chair. "Zak", I whisper and he smiles. "Let's go upstairs", he says and offers me his hand. I take it and get lazily up. "I'm just so fucking tired", I say and chuckle. He smirks. "Best be quick if you wanna pick your bed!" He says and rushes towards the elevator. Zak, really? Really? "Is that a challenge?" I say and run after him.
He is too slow and doesn't manage to get in the elevator early enough. I get inside and press him against the wall. "You are so fucking annoying sometimes, Zak", I whisper. He smirks again and presses a button behind his back. The doors close and the elevator starts moving. I press my lips roughly against his and kiss him passionately. When I back off to get some air, I murmur: "That was for teasing me in the car." He chuckles. "I deserved it", he agrees.
We walk in the hallway, and stop in front of room 345. I can see Aaron and Nick a couple of doors away from us so I wave at them. Nick stares at a piece of plastic in his hands, obviously looking for his room. He stops at the door 346. "I really am gonna fall asleep if I won't get this door open", he mumbles and tries hard to get the keycard to work. Finally he succeeds and I hear a metallic click and the door opens. He steps inside and smiles. "Sleep well", he says and closes the door behind him. "You too", I reply and hope that he heard it trough the door, which doesn't seem to be too thick.
Aaron walks past us and stops in front of the door 344. "This is mine.. Well, good night guys", he says and pushes his door roughly open. "Oh.. And keep it PG in your room. Don't wanna hear anything in the night", he says and laughs. "Aaron!" Zak almost yells and I roll my eyes. Wait, what? Our room?
Aaron closes the door before I get to ask. Bastard.
"We share a room?" I ask and stare at the door. He just huffs amusedly and nods. "Have done that before.. Thought that 'cause they messed up with our rooms, it would be fair to give Nick and Aaron a good sleep", he says. I just nod. Yeah, of course they deserve to sleep. Besides, even though I won't admit it, this was my secret wish. To share the bed with Zak. I kinda felt that I would feel so lonely if I had to sleep alone after sharing the bed with him.
Zak opens the door with the key card in his hands. I follow him inside and right away throw my bag on the wooden floor. "Tired?" he asks and I just nod lazily. "Yeah.."
The room is pretty nice. Floors are dark wood, walls are white. On one of the walls, there are two large windows, right now covered with red curtains. I also notice a small door that leads to a balcony. In the middle of the room, there is a huge double bed, covered with a black blanket. There are some extra pillows and I notice a couple of fresh towels, that are laying neatly on the bed.
Zak places his own bag on the floor, next to the bed. Then he just slowly walks to the balcony door and opens it. I can immediately feel the cool summer wind, and it feels amazing on my skin. He steps outside and disappears in the night.
I hesitate for a while before following him. I feel so tired that I am not sure if I can stay awake all the way to the balcony and back here.
I open the door more and step outside. It's dark everywhere, but otherwise it looks very beautiful. Usually I don't enjoy the darkness around me too much, but right now, because I know that Zak is right next to me, I feel safe. I can see dim lights of the city somewhere far. I can see the moon, and I can see Zak, right next to me. I step closer and our arms touch. I shiver.
Zak is just staring at the sky. Suddenly, he wraps his arms around me and brings me closer to himself. "It's so beautiful", I whisper. "Yeah..", he mumbles. I feel his warm breath on my skin. I look at all the stars I can see, and right now I feel like we are just one tiny piece in something greater. In the huge universe. "I wonder if I can see all the way to the Milky way", I mumble and he just lightly chuckles and then shrugs. "Perhaps." His whisper stays in the air, and repeats all over and over again. Perhaps.
**
I open my eyes when I feel the light of the morning sun on my face. It's hot , actually. It's too hot. I kick the blanket away, on the floor and look around. It's not dark anymore, the whole room looks lighter now. I am sleeping on my pyjama shorts and a top that I didn't even know I had with me. I have no clear image of yesterday, whatsoever. I remember watching the stars on the balcony with Zak, I remember kissing him on the bed and then I remember sitting on the chair with my pyjama shorts and top on. So I probably fell asleep there, but didn't wake up and was somehow moved to the bed.
I feel an arm wrapped around my waist and I smile. This is one of the things I love about Zak. Sharing the bed with him, and waking up in the morning, so close to him. It's like I could see the real Zak first thing in the morning when he wakes up. He doesn't have any gel in his hair, or any of his "TV- clothes" on.. Or the voice he uses for Ghost Adventures, none of it is visible. I can be together with the real Zak Bagans, the Zak I love.
I crawl closer to him and watch him sleep. I don't know if this is the right word for it, but he looks absolutely beautiful right now. He is dreaming so peacefully, his eyes squeezed shut, his dark lashes together. I miss the sleepy blue of his eyes when he wakes up, so I decide to wake him up. (and check the clock first).
I get up from the bed and sneak on the other side of the bed. It would have been easier to just crawl over Zak, but he would have woken up and if it's early in the morning, he would have killed me. So it's better to take the longer way. I reach for his phone and click a button to see if something happens. It's a white iphone. Really. Aaron always teases him about 'Girls have white iphones, guys have black". The phone is locked, but I can still see the clock. It's 1:23 pm. Wow. It seems late, but when I start to count hours, I really have slept for about eight hours or so. We stayed awake until 5:10 am or later last night with Zak. I wonder if Aaron or Nick are awake.
I decide that it's time to wake Zak up. I walk back to my own side of the large double bed and sit down. Then I lay quietly down, careful not to make any sounds. I crawl right next to Zak and grab his hand gently. I wrap it back around my waist, right where it was when I first woke up. Then I turn to face him and lean closer. I gently press my lips on his nose, wondering if that wakes him up. He just huffs and smiles gently. I obviously need to try something else.
I move my lips to his neck, and kiss rougher. He doesn't react at all. I drag my lips on his neck, until I find a spot that seems to be sensitive. "Zak", I whisper. He breathes out something and his eyes flicker open. It takes him some time to register what is happening but once he realises, he smirks. "Couldn't keep your hands off of me even when I was asleep?" he says and chuckles. I roll my eyes. He places his free hand in my hair and brings my lips closer to his for a morning kiss. This kiss is so soft, so gentle, but yet so powerful and strong. Rough. "Good morning Zak", I whisper when I move to get some air.
He (too soon) gets up to get in the shower. I have to admit that I may have been stalking at him when he took off his shirt and the smirk on his face told me that I got caught. All I can say is that he has a hot chest. And arms. And back.
Right now I can hear the sound of water running in the small bathroom, and I am just laying on the bed, waiting for Zak. I know that it's going to be a long process before we can go and get something to eat, because he'll need to do his hair, which probably takes an hour. And of course he needs to choose the best clothes for the day and all. I roll my eyes, again. Zak is concerned about his own look and it's cute, because it's like he didn't know that he is the sexiest man alive.
I hear a knock on the door and obviously Zak hears it too, because the sound of running water stops. "Hey Nad.. Wanna go see who's there?" he shouts trough the bathroom door. I just nod, because I forget that he can't see me. Nadine, you have to stop responding by nodding to everything. Seriously, I do it even on phone. "Yeah, sure", I answer and rush to get the door. I assume it to be either Nick, Aaron or both.
I open the door and look outside. And yeah, I was right. I am greeted by Nick's face. "Mornin'", he says and smiles. I smile back and greet him with a nod. "Zak's in the shower", I say and grin. Nick nods. "Kay, I'm heading to get some food. Wanna join?" he asks. Hell yeah, I am hungry. But would it be fair to leave Zak here? Nadine, he can surely manage by himself in the shower for some minutes. "Yeah, I'll just.." I start and rush back in the bedroom. "Hey Zak, wanna get something to eat?" I ask. He doesn't seem to hear, so I knock on the door.
I hear a muffled 'yeah', and repeat my question. "Sure, anything", he answers and once the water starts running again, I head outside the door together with Nick. I am wearing my sweatpants and one of my casual shirts. My hair is a probably a mess and I didn't bother to put on any make up, because I'd mess it up anyway by going in the shower soon.
"Where's Aaron?" I ask Nick, who just shrugs. "Sleepin' maybe", he says and I nod. We walk to the elevator in silence. Like I've said, Nick is more like the father-type to me. He is maybe a tiny bit more shy than Zak (or Aaron, hell), but the silence between us is not the awkward type of silence. It's just that you don't have to say anything when you really have nothing to say. I hate the kind of situations when you have to figure out dumb things to say just to prevent the silence.
Downstairs there is a small cafe. We get inside and are greeted by the scent of fresh coffee. It makes me hungry. There are small tables and some chairs all over the place. In the corners, there are some couches and long tables. We walk near a table that has food (yay!) on it and some fresh drinks.
Nick chooses something for himself. I get two chocolate muffins and some white bread with cheese and salad for me and Zak. I also get myself an apple tea and a black coffee for Zak. I have no idea how he likes his coffee, so I just grab two small sugar bags with me. Nick seems to have a croissant and a tea.
We head back to the door, and that is when I notice a familiar figure, sitting on one of the couches. I run there and sit down, almost jumping on him. "Aaron!" I giggle. He's been here for the whole time, eating. "Mornings Nad", he says and places his phone on the table. What a surprise, he's tweeting. I don't have to ask what he had for breakfast, I can read it on Twitter.
Aaron pockets his phone and follows us upstairs. After all, we are going to check out the lockdown location today for the first time, even though the lockdown itself is tomorrow. I am excited, a tiny bit tired already and absolutely HUNGRY.