Losing Control

I woke up in a cold sweat, legs tangled in the sheets, hair plastered to my forehead. Inwardly, I swore, cursing my entire supernatural life. I had been stuck in nightmares all night, Taylor haunting me, her face stretched out, grotesque, flickers of dark shadows interrupting her flow like bad reception on a tv.

I picked my way out of bed and ambled to the shower, trying to shake the feeling of someone watching me, rubbing my skin where I got goose pimples. And maybe I stood up too fast because suddenly there were fuzzy shapes moving across the floor to me, creeping down the walls, seeping in through the cracked window but when I blinked, they were gone.

Strange.

I shrugged and went about my usual business, slipping a shirt over my head, tugging jeans up over my hips. I don’t know why I was changing, I wasn’t going to school today anyways. But still, clothes were yanked on, pajamas thrown into the hamper to be washed never.

Dear god, I’m not ready for this Ruler of Hell shit.

The house was quiet, too quiet almost but again, I shrugged it off. I was the only one in the house so why wouldn’t it be quiet? Halfway through eating the biggest bowlful of Trix cereal I could find in the house, I decided to go see if Alan was home too. Why not? I’m sure he’d want to stay home after being in that much pain last night.

As I walked to Alan’s house, I thought. About everything really. About how I didn’t want to go rule the fucking underworld, about how I belong here with my dumb friends who may or may not really love me, about Alan’s ashy scars.

Mostly about Alan.

The walk takes less time than it should, the only evidence of the long walk was the burning in my calves but I stand outside his house anyways, trying to decide of I should throw rocks at his bedroom window like some sort of misguided Romeo so we can hang out or if I should just knock on the door like a normal human being.

Which I am not but that is definitely beside the point.

I settle for tossing rocks at his window, tiny pebbles in the grass, until I see his pale face peek between the curtains. Brown eyes narrowed at me and the window hissed open.

“Austin?” Alan’s voice was cracked, like he had been sleeping too long and his throat was dry. “What in the hell are you doing outside my house?” A fist scrubbed at his eye and it was almost the most adorable thing I had ever seen.

You know, besides Alan himself.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at school?” I blurted out before I could stop myself and mentally winced; way to be confrontational and dumb, Austin. Alan rolled his eyes, the curtain falling back to reveal more of him, my breath catching in my throat when his chest was exposed. Why is he so beautiful?

“Good point,” he snorted, bracing his hands on his window sill so he wouldn’t fall out of his window. “So why are you here, Romeo?” Alan cocked his eyebrow at me and for a second there, I kind of forgot to answer.

So I just went with the asshole response. “Someone’s snappy today, what crawled up your ass and died, princess?”

Alan’s eyes narrowed at me.

Shit.

“You know, I don’t think I want to talk to you anymore,” he announced, moving backwards into his bedroom and slamming the window closed before I could retaliate.

“Wait! Alan!” The only answer I got was Alan flipping me the bird through the folds of his curtain and I sighed frustratedly. “Alan, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t want to go to school today and I thought you might be home.”

No response.

“Alan!”

That stubborn little… Muttering to myself, I stomped up to his door, knocking twice. “Alan, come on, I’m sorry for being an ass.” Still no answer. I raised my hand a second time to knock but the door flew open, a very angry looking ginger standing in the doorway.

“What? What do you want?” Alan hissed at me, orange hair fluttering messily around his face. He looked fierce and dangerous and so different from the Alan at school that I almost took a step backwards.

“Are you okay?” The words came out before I could stop them, almost as if they were attracted to Alan and just being around them pulled them out.

“No.” Alan didn’t offer anymore explanation, just crossed his arms, leaned all his weight on one leg.

Silence as I desperately searched for something to say to him, to get him to hang out with me today. Why today, of all days, I had no idea, but something was pulling me towards him, something much stronger than anything I had ever felt.

“You wanna hang out today then?” Alan looked at me like I was crazy, his expression of disbelief evident so I rushed on. “We don’t have to talk about anything or anything like that. Just… Hang out with me today.”

Alan scowled at me. “Do I have a choice?” He sounded just so irritated about this turn of events that I almost laughed but refrained from doing so, fearing he might take offense and slam the door back in my face.

“It’s get dressed so we can hang out for a bit or I’ll keep throwing rocks at your window.” Alan’s expression softened slightly as he stood aside to let me in.

“Come on in, I guess.”

Within a few minutes, we were walking down the side walk, aimlessly chatting when I started feeling a cold, creeping sensation on my skin.

Like someone was watching me.

“Austin?” I blinked. Alan was standing about ten feet away from me, waving his arms at me. “Are you okay dude?”

“Y-Yeah,” I cleared my throat, and took a step forward. The feeling was stronger now, like the rush of a subway train, louder and louder, faster, until the whole sound and the vibrations on the air just sink into your skin and I realized that something was coming for us a second too late.

It was like seeing a movie in snap shots.

Screen one. Alan’s jaw dropped in a wordless shout, arm outstretched, as if he’s trying to touch me, as if touching me would save me.

Screen two. The ground rushing towards my face, everything around me a blur.

Screen three. Shadows screaming, blackness swirling around me, the echo of Alan’s voice in my ears.

Agony, ripping through my back, searing through my veins, scalding my lungs and out of my throat. I have never felt pain quite like this, I thought dazedly, tremors falling in a deep seated pitter pat on my skin.

A flutter of wings, downy soft against my cheek.

Then black.

<>

“Austin? Austin, wake up?” I attempted to wrench my eyes open at the sound of a voice drawing me out of my slumber but I yelped in pain.

God, why is it so white? My hands flew to my face, shielding me from glare of everything around me.

Warm. I feel warm. I feel… clean. Not just, I just took a shower clean, like my soul was dipped in rose water and scrubbed with clear, clean mountain water and left to dry in a meadow. Was that a little gay? It might have been. But that’s how I felt.

I felt good.

“Austin?” This time the voice was closer. Female.

I know that voice.

Forcing my eyes open, I stared wide eyed at the hazy blob in front of me.

“Mom?”