Eat Something

I'm sitting in Precalc listening to the dumb lecture about matrices and how to solve them with reduced row echelon form and decide I will never need this when I'm older, so I tune it out. This has happened a lot this year, my notebook has slowly turned into a sketch book. I start drawing a ballerina. Her hair is tight in a bun above her head, she has her slippers laced up her calves and she's wearing a tutu that is flying around her body as she twirls. Her hands are above her head which is turned to the side. I've never been good at drawing facial features so I try to avoid them as much as possible. I erase her torso and draw it again. I make her skinny. Skinnier. Skinniest. I don't realize that I'm crying until a tear hits the paper, on her right hand. I quickly wipe my eyes and look around to see if anyone noticed that I was crying.

Lunch was next and I knew that it would end badly if I went. I already feel like shit about myself and I most definitely don't want to eat anything. I go to the bathroom so I can purge, not only so i can get stupid calories out of me but also because it relieves stress for me somehow. Not to mention the nurse will send me home if she smells the sent on me. I'm done with today. I need to go home.