Save Me From Myself

I am so, so sorry.

I had NO idea that I hadn't updated this story since May.. My bad, for real.

I've been struggling with this chapter for a while, now.. I know where I want to go with the story but am unsure of how to get there, but no worries! I've got it figured out now.

The writer's block I was stuck with was a pain the ass, but somehow, someway, we all have Miley Cyrus to thank for the chapter.. (I know, crazy, right?).

Miley released a new song called "Wrecking Ball", which I listened to on loop once I got this chapter going. It gave me major ideas for the 'Death Cure' part of this story, which made me want to write them! But, I obviously can't write it unless I get TMR and Scorch Trials written!

So thank you, Miley. You somehow got me to pull this chapter out of nowhere.

I'm always sure that I'll write more during the summer, but it seems like it's the exact opposite, which is good, since I love writing this story.

Thanks to everyone who's been reviewing the last few months; the fact that I have 16 reviews in three chapters in a smaller section of is amazing! Can't forget about those pesky readers who send in PMs yelling at me to get my ass writing. They really help!

I don't own anything Maze Runner. If I did, Newt and I would be happily married. Only Sutton is mine.!
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Shock. Anger. Fear. Guilt.

The tiny body that my mind was encased in began to shiver, and not because of the cold—after all, it was apparently never cold in the Glade. As if I was completely alone, my arms wrapped around my lithe frame, unsure of what to do with myself. Alby is banishing Ben?

"Sutton?" Newt's voice called out, breaking through my frozen stupor.

"Sorry, what?" I replied, still shivering over the fact that Ben was getting 'banished' because of me.

Newt shot me a concerned look until the area went silent, minus the low-voiced whispers that echoed through the small crowd. The thick tension that floated through the air could be cut with a knife as Newt took my hand lightly.

"Ready to go?" he asked me in a hushed tone, clearly worried that the others would overhear.

"No, I'm not doing it," I whispered back, shaking my head violently.

Newt's shoulders fell at that as he continued to look back and forth between me and the front of the pack. We stood in an uncomfortable silence for a moment, Newt clearly unsure of how to proceed—it was when I began to pull away did he speak.

"Okay, Sutton, listen.. Maybe we can try and convince Alby that you're not interested, but I can't have you just not show up. Thomas is already up there, can't we just go?".

"Wait, Thomas agreed to this?" I asked in surprise, my eyebrows shooting up.

"No, no.. Please, let's just go,".

I stared at Newt's worried features for a moment before letting out a heavy sigh.

"Only because you asked so nicely,".

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The large 20-foot aluminum pole forced everyone to cover their ears as it scraped against the ground, emitting a loud screeching sound that almost resembled the Box alarm. The giant weapon must've weighed at least thirty pounds on its own, proving its heavy weight as Newt had to use both hands to pull the pole from its prospective shed over to where Alby stood, a haggard-looking Ben by his side.

Ben's hands were tied behind his back with a thick rope, with one end that hung near the back of his knees. His hair was matted in a sweaty pile against his face as well as down the back of his neck. His pasty form was covered with the same tatters of clothing that Ben had been sporting near the Deadheads—the only difference being the tiny goosebumps that coated his skin, as if Ben could feel the same chill coursing through his veins as I could. His blue eyes were void of almost any emotion; when he did show any, it was a mix of sadness, anger, and something else that I just couldn't put my finger on.

Before I knew it, Newt was back by Alby's side empty-handed, while Alby began to lightly stretch out the tiny strap that hung loosely off of one end of the large pole.

Before I knew it, Thomas had had to place a firm grip onto my shoulder to calm down my relentless shivering.

Before I knew it, I was being tugged out of his Thomas' grasp and towards Ben, towards the large noose-like collar in Alby's hands.

"This, brothers, is not an ordinary banishing," Alby began with a steady voice. "As we all know, Ben was going through a tough time, what with being stung and having to undergo the Changing.. A process that he clearly could not handle,".

A murmur of voices washed over the small crowd of boys, loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Ben is officially banished from the Glade, not only for the attempted murder of our newest brother Thomas, but also because of his fierce attack upon our only sister, Sutton,".

Most of the boys in the crowd nodded in understanding, while some boy's eyes widened in surprise and shock. In turn, Alby turned to face me fully and outstretched his hand toward me, which I took slowly. He yanked me forward, a little harsher than necessary, but forward nonetheless.

I caught Newt's eyes for a split second, but the glance wasn't worth anything. My shaking fingers were forced around the strap as Alby jutted his chin over to Ben.

"Go ahead,".

"What?" I asked in shock.

I knew Newt had said something about 'sending Ben on his merry way", but I assumed that it would be something simple like "hello" and "goodbye", NOT putting a noose around his neck.

"Just do it, Greenie," I heard Newt order from beside his best friend.

Glaring towards him, I yanked the collar out of Alby's hands and spun on my heel. Wasn't Newt the one saying I had a choice to stand up against Alby? Clearly he didn't trust their tight friendship as much as I thought he did.

When I finally came face-to-face with Ben, my shivers increased even more. If looks could kill, I would've been dead a long time ago. I almost felt sorry for the boy when I began to put the collar around his neck, but the heated breaths that escaped his parted lips changed my mind. It wasn't him I felt sorry for—I felt bad for the old Ben that clearly isn't with us anymore.

My motions were cut short when a thought hit me: Just because Newt hadn't defended me didn't mean I couldn't defend myself. Pushing off of my bare knees, I stood to face Newt and Alby, who both were giving off surprised looks.

"I'm not doing it," I told them, dropping the collar to the ground.

"Excuse me?" Alby asked, his voice filled with a hint of warning.

"You heard me. I'm not doing it. Sure, he tried to kill me and Thomas, but that doesn't mean I have to be the one to send him away. You want him banished so badly? You do it,".

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The unmistakable smile that covered Newt's face only angered Alby more.

"She doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want to, Albs," he told his friend, his British voice filled with pride.

"Oh, please. You didn't defend me a few minutes ago, either, Newt," I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

Newt's lips formed a tight line, clearly not looking to fight.

"Look, Sutton, I know you don't want to do this, but it's only fair that Ben is sent away by the woman he tried to hurt," Alby explained, his voice treading on a thin line between calm and furious.

I watched him silently as he bent over, picked up the collar, and handed it back to me. As much as I wanted to throw it in his face, the look in Alby's eyes convinced me not to. The smirk that he always wore was more evident than ever, even when Newt began to try to sway Alby on the topic.

"Come on, Alby, the girl clearly doesn't want to do it,".

"Slim it, Newt. The discussion is over," Alby shot him down.

As quickly as I could, I slid the collar over Ben's head and walked towards the large group of boys. I received numerous pats on the back and shoulders, as well as random "Sorry Sutton's" as I made my way through the crowd. I heard Alby tell someone to come get me, but Newt put a stop to that.

As I walked toward the Homestead, I heard Alby call out to a group whom he referred to as the 'Keepers' before the South walls of the Maze began to screech to a close. Stopping short once I reached the Homestead, I turned around to face the wall when Ben's ear-piercing screams echoed through the Glade.

Despite the group of boys crowded around the exit, Ben was still visible when Alby and company raised the collar off of his neck just in time for the Maze walls to close, separating Ben from the Glade.

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"We really can't talk about this, Greenie?".

"No,".

Rolling over onto my side so I couldn't see Newt, I closed my eyes and tried forcing myself to fall asleep.

"I thought we were done fighting," Newt suggested after a few minutes of silence.

"Newt, stop acting like I'm supposed to open my heart up to you or some crap like that; in reality, I don't know you, you don't know me. Nobody really knows anybody. I mean.. I can barely remember that my name is Sutton one day, and the next I'm expected to banish someone from and for a place that I've been at for about three days?" I growled, letting a tear fall.

"Hey," Newt murmured, easing my body over so that I could face him. "You're right. You shouldn't have gone through any of that, and I'm sorry. I just don't want you taking it out on me, girl—I tried sticking up for you!" Newt explained, running a hand through his long hair.

I mentally prepared a comeback but by the time I had something creative and snarky figured out, I was over the fight.

"Let's just forget about it, I'm tired," I mumbled, rolling over so I was facing the door.

I heard Newt let out an aggravated sigh.

"Good that,".

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"So try finishing up your breakfast so we can get your training going; if you're going to be a permanent member of the Glade, you need to have a job," Alby continued his short but sweet speech towards me before turning to reiterate the same thing to Thomas.

My lips were pursed when I shot him a thumbs up. The kitchen in the Glade was always packed during mealtime, which made getting food a pain since the eating room wasn't that big in size. Most of the boys end up eating outside, preferring the fresh air and space to accompany their meals instead of crowded bodies.

The tiny two-room cafeteria consisted of about five or six Glader-made wooden bench tables which quickly filled up with the first few diners, eager to get a good seat rather than a grassy one. The floors creaked and groaned when stepped over; after all, it's not like the Gladers who put it together were construction workers. Maybe in a past life, I thought to myself with a chuckle.

All three mealtimes were handled with order and patience. Whether Frypan was serving up breakfast, lunch, or dinner, every hungry Glader had to jump into the long single-file line that led up to a tiny window. Frypan had his own room to work and took everyone's orders through the makeshift window. It wasn't like the Glade had a very large menu when it came to different meals, but we had enough.

"Come on, Sutton, line's moving," a voice called out from behind, making my body jump.

"Sorry, Darwin, I wasn't really paying attention," I chuckled awkwardly but moved ahead to keep the line moving.

When the older boy didn't answer, I panicked a little, thinking that I had called him by the wrong name. Learning over fifty names and being able to put them to faces wasn't an easy feat after only three days of being at the Glade.

"What can I get ya, Sutton?" Frypan's deep voice asked me as I approached the chef's window.

"Surprise me!" I smiled, throwing my hands up to cover my eyes.

Frypan laughed a little before nodding and turning to his decent section of ingredients.

"Sure thing, just give me a minute,".

Frypan had entered the Glade with the name of 'Siggy', but due to his passion for food he was renamed as Frypan by the boys. Contrast to most of the Glade's male population, Frypan was quite short, maybe only a head or so taller than me.

I stood to the side as all of the hungry Gladers watched the dark-skinned, curly-haired boy went to work preparing my meal. I allowed myself a moment to zone out until hearing Frypan's bell ring, signaling that a meal was ready.

"What'cha got for me, friend?" I asked smoothly, jumping up and down lightly in anticipation.

Frypan may be the only cook that any of us can remember having, but he was definitely a great one.

"Omelet—I don't usually make those, so you better like it, girl!" he told me with a stern yet joking voice.

"Sir yes sir!" I replied, saluting him as I took my breakfast.

I glanced around at the tables for a possible seat but decided on sticking with the great outdoors.

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"We haven't officially met, I'm Zart: Keeper of the Gardens," Zart introduced himself, shaking my hand firmly.

"Sutton: Keeper of Myself," I replied jokingly, but Zart either didn't understand the joke or just flat out didn't find it funny.

"Thomas," the new boy said when Zart extended his hand.

"Today I'm going to show you Greenbeans the ropes of being a part of my garden crew," Zart took a few steps closer to the Gardens, "You know: weeding, pruning, picking, and so on,".

"Great," I mused sarcastically, earning a small chuckle out of Thomas.

"Something funny?" Zart snapped, his voice full of authority.

"Not at all," Thomas replied, clearing his throat.

When Zart finally turned away to usher us towards the Gardens, Thomas and I exchanged a glance, trying our hardest not to laugh.

"Let's get the picking out of the way first since that's the easiest," Zart began, leading us over to two rows of tomatoes, "But just because it's the easiest doesn't mean it's simple,".

I decided to nod along with Thomas, who was trying to take this as seriously as possible. I, on the other hand, wasn't. Just by listening to Zart talking about weeding reassured me in the fact that this wouldn't be the job for me.

"You both got all that? Brush, squeeze, pick, place, repeat. Let's try it out!".

Zart clapped his hands twice before stepping out of the way so we could pick some tomatoes. I couldn't fight the snort that escaped me at Zart's directions.

Brush, squeeze, pick, place, repeat?

What had this man eaten for breakfast (it clearly wasn't Frypan's cooking)? I made a note of sticking next to Thomas, since he apparently been listening. Following Thomas step by step, we both brushed off a tomato, took hold of it, picked it, placed it in a basket, and moved on.

"Good, good!" Zart cheered from the other side of the Garden.

"Leave it to Zart to only be capable of getting excited over gardening," Thomas muttered, clearly unable to keep his thoughts to himself.

I couldn't help but laugh, despite the surprise I felt toward the new guy. Sure, we were both new, but Thomas hasn't really opened up to too many people yet.

After a few minutes, I spoke up, saying, "I have no idea what I'm doing,".

"I know," Thomas replied jokingly.

My eyes casted over to where Thomas was working, a smirk coating my face.

"Is it that obvious?".

Thomas' eyes widened a little as he shrugged.

"Let me help,".

"It's picking a tomato..." I scoffed, but Thomas insisted.

His large hand wrapped around mine, making both of us flinch. The same feeling that I had felt when looking at Thomas for the first time hit me again; I know this guy.

But from where?

"Tell me you feel something," Thomas whispered, gripping onto my hand tightly.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, my head shook in disbelief.

"I don't understand.. I don't know you—I can't!".

"I know it's impossible, but something is going on around here.. I just can't figure out what," Thomas stuttered.

I looked away when I felt Thomas' eyes bore into mine, but I couldn't help but turn back to face him eventually. Something about those eyes were just so familiar that I couldn't help but feel safe when looking into them.

"Shouldn't you two shanks be working?" a voice asked, pulling me away from Thomas' gravitational force.

"Newt, hey," I said, shooting him a small smile.

Newt shot me a look that I couldn't exactly figure out before he turned to Thomas.

"Thomas,".

"Newt,".

The exchange was awkward enough for the two to be so occupied in their testosterone-fueled stare-off that I had time to slip my fingers out of Thomas' grasp and continue picking tomatoes.

"How's your day been going so far?" Newt asked us both, his voice icy.

"Pretty good. I wasn't really paying attention, though, so Thomas was just helping me out," I told the blonde, who shot me a look of disbelief.

"You needed help picking tomatoes?".

"Newt, just stop, please," I urged the Brit, rolling my eyes.

"Fine, but I need to talk to you," Newt sighed, throwing his hands to his hips.

"Okay, talk," I said, pushing off of my knees to raise to his level.

Newt's eyes glanced over to wards Thomas, who looked away.

"Alone,".

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"Will you let go of me, please?" I practically growled as Newt dragged me by the arm.

"I'm sorry, I just don't want anyone listening,".

"Why not? Is the news that crazy?" I snorted, but ceased my laughing when Newt rushed to a stop.

"Dammit Sutton, just stop with the sarcasm! I'm a tad bit stressed right now and I don't need your bloody klunk right now.." Newt growled, finally letting go of my arm to rub his eyes with the palms of his hands.

Watching him, I realized how serious Newt was.

"Newt, what's wrong?" I asked him, gently pulling his hands away so I could look into his eyes.

"For the next few days I want you to stick by me at all times, alright?" Newt asked, his eyes begging me to say yes.

My head shook furiously with worry. What could make my time here any worse than it had been?

Between my nonexistent memory and Ben's banishing, it was hard keeping myself together.

"Of course, but what's wrong?".

Newt's lips formed a straight but stressed line before he spoke.

"Something has happened and I have a feeling that Alby will come to you with a lot of questions if it's true,".

"Newt, what's wrong?" I stressed, taking his hands in mine.

"Minho found a shuck Griever in the Maze today," Newt explained, actually shivering as he spoke.

"He what? Oh my goodness, is he okay?" I asked him, my mouth dropping open.

"Yes, Sutton, he's fine. The Griever, on the other hand, well.. It's dead,".

My eyebrows rose up in shock.

A Griever was dead?

Images of the bastard thing appeared in my mind. Its spear-like rods, its ooze-covered body, its whirring sounds.. How do you even attempt to kill those things?

"How did it die?".

"I have no bloody clue,".

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After our hushed conversation, Newt had told Zart that there was business that we needed to attend to, excusing me for the rest of the day. I bid Thomas a quick goodbye despite Newt's wishes, but soon enough, we were on our way.

"You didn't have to tell Zart that stuff, you know," I tried telling Newt, but he wouldn't hear it.

"Wasn't planning on having you working that much, anyway,".

"Why not?" I asked, curiosity rising through my body.

"You're a shuck lady, shouldn't be doing hard labor,".

"I'm quite capable, Newt,".

"Never said you weren't,".

We walked for a few more moments in silence until Newt stopped in front of me, making me crash into his lean back.

"Ouch?" I mumbled, rubbing the side of my head.

"Sorry, Greenie.. I know I've asked this before, but is there anything you haven't told me or anyone else?" Newt asked, eyebrows raised.

My mouth opened to speak but the only thing that came out was a small squeak. There was plenty that I've decided not to tell anyone, even Newt. Sure, I was closest with Newt here in the Glade, but what would people think if I told everyone that I thought I knew Thomas? I would be labeled as crazy and that would be the end of it. There are just some things that I'm not ready to tell.

"Sutton?" Newt repeated, bringing me back to reality.

"Sorry.. Newt, I've been truthful. I have no idea why Alby thinks I'm some secret spy or something," my voice insisted, earning a laugh out of Newt.

Newt shook his head as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"This is why I keep you around, Greenie,".

"What? You have no choice, we're all stuck here!".

Newt shot me a smirk accompanied with a wink.

"Yeah, that too,".

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"Let's go over the plan one more time,".

"Oh come on, Newt! I know the shuck plan!".

"Getting better with the 'shucks' and 'shanks', huh?".

"Shut up,".

Newt and I stood in front of the West-side entrance to the Maze. Well, at least I was standing still. Newt, on the other hand, was pacing back and forth nervously.

Despite the playfulness in his voice, Newt was scared shitless. I watched the boy bite his lower lip in worry; sure, he was worried, but I had to admit that the lip biting was incredibly sexy.

Wait, what?

Shaking my head to rid myself of those kinds of thoughts, I made my way over to him to calm him down.

"They'll be back soon," I said in a soothing voice, my hands on his shoulders.

"They've been gone way too long, Sutton.. The walls are going to close soon!" Newt yelped, pulling at his golden locks.

The tension was thick but for once, it wasn't between us.

"Hey," I said sternly, taking hold of his jaw. "They'll make it,".

"I'm trusting you," Newt replied quietly, lightly pulling my hands away from my face.

Newt shuddered for a moment before taking a deep breath. Closing his eyes, his forehead pressed against mine.

"They'll be okay," I reassured him, rubbing my hands up and down his strong arms.

"They'll be okay," Newt repeated, nodding against my skin.

We were so close that I could taste the light scent that was Newt. Looking at his worried expression, I could understand why he was so worried.

Alby and Minho were out in the Maze checking out the dead Griever—what if something were to go wrong? Alby and Newt had been through everything together; they were best friends. If something happened to either of them, there would be a lot of pieces to pick up.

Just when I thought that I had calmed Newt up, we heard footsteps. Jagged, rushed footsteps.

"He got hit! Alby's stung!".

My heart actually constricted when I saw the pain break across Newt's once cocky face.

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It was as if Minho's announcement had set off a chain of events—a mighty chain that would very much shake the balance of the Glade off its axis. Newt's head snapped up in shock to see Minho, one of the Glade's best Runners, carrying an unconscious Alby through the Maze.

We all knew the walls would be closing any minute. We hadn't seen or heard anything from Ben since his banishment, making me assume that getting stuck at night in the Maze was like signing your death certificate.

The look in Newt's eyes was flat out pain as Minho struggled to keep Alby in his arms. Newt began to run forward into the Maze until we heard it.

The doors were closing.

"Hurry, mate!" Newt's voice bellowed throughout the Glade and into the Maze.

My skin was itching with anticipation, telling me to act, to do something to help. Newt was in mental pain, Alby was in physical pain, and Minho was probably facing both. When I saw Minho trip and fall to the floor of the Maze with Alby in hand, I took off towards the Maze to help.

"Sutton, stop!" Newt shouted, taking large strides to catch up me.

"I'm going to help!".

"Like hell you are, Sutton!" Newt growled, catching up with me in time to pull me back.

"Stop it!" I snarled, banging my fists against Newt's chest.

"I'm not letting you go out there Sutton! If you get stuck out there and the walls close.." Newt tried to say but stopped short.

"It's Alby out there, Newt! He's your best friend!".

My fists had slowed but the rest of my body didn't. I was trying to drag my body as well as Newt's towards the Maze, but Newt overpowered me by far.

"Stop it Sutton, I'm not letting you go out there,".

"Let me help you," I pleaded when his hands wrapped around my wrists.

" You're helping me by staying here,".

From behind me I could hear Minho's rushed breaths, the boy clearly terrified of the idea of getting stuck in the Maze walls at night.

"It's Alby out there, Newt,".

"It's you in here, Sutton,".

Our conversation had consumed us so much that neither of us had heard Thomas' footsteps booking past us until he was in the Maze, picking up Minho by the haunches.

"Thomas! Get back here!" Newt's loud voice bellowed through the air.

Thomas ignored him as he picked up Alby, he and Minho struggling to get the Glade.

"Newt, they're not going to—,".

"They'll make it," Newt growled, gritting his teeth.

Despite the hope that Newt was holding on to, I knew they wouldn't. You could run as fast as you wanted, the walls were just closing too fast.

Tugging on his shoulders, I looked up at the tall man.

"Newt, turn around, I don't want you seeing this,".

I don't think I could watch my best friend get stuck in a place knowing that they would never see the light of day again. By now, multiple Gladers were surrounding us, calling and shouting for the two boys in the Maze to run faster, to sprint.

It was no use.

I shared one sad look with Thomas before the mossy walls of the Maze closed shut for the night, our view on Minho, Thomas, and Alby gone forever. It was as if the Glade had been given a mute button, and we were all waiting for someone to uncheck the audio box.

Everyone turned to Newt, for he was second in command behind Alby. The look in his eyes was a clear sign that he didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment, but the fifty other boys clearly needed some idea of what was going to happen now.

The Glade is life.

The Maze is death.

"What now?" a voice called out, laced with worry.

"Are you taking over for Alby?".

Newt's mouth popped open, forming a small 'o'.

"Just get back to work," Newt ordered quietly, his voice barely audible.

Without giving anyone a chance to speak, Newt took off towards the Homestead.

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"If one more shank knocks on the bloody door, I will knock their teeth out.." Newt threatened from the other side of the door.

I cringed a little, not expecting that type of reaction.

"Can I come in? It's me," I told him, leaning against the door frame.

I took his silence as an invitation inside our shared room, so I turned the doorknob slowly, peeking my head in. I couldn't say that I was surprised at how messy the room was, messy being an understatement. In fact, the room was destroyed.

The small desk that had once sat upright in the corner was thrown haphazardly against the opposite wall, the mattress from the bed resting up against the window. My eyes found Newt sitting against the wall, knees pulled up against his chest.

"Newt.." I sighed, closing the door behind me.

"I'm not talking about it, Sutton," he mumbled, shaking his head.

"You don't have to,".

After making my way over to him, I slid my body down the wall until I was seated next to him. A sliver of fading sunlight shone through the top of the window, illuminating the window with a light glow. The discarded mattress didn't help, but neither of us minded too much.

"I trusted you," Newt finally spoke up.

"What?" I asked, confused.

Newt looked up from his knees to look at me, sadness encompassing his features.

"You said they would make it out of the Maze,".

"Newt, I'm sorry, you must know that.. Alby, he..".

"He was like my brother," Newt managed to whisper.

Knowing Newt for the small amount of time I'd spent in the Glade, I knew that he wouldn't cry. Not tonight, at least; he was still in his anger stage.

Turning to look at the boy, I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

"I'm sorry," my muffled voice said against his shirt.

My eyes fell shut as Newt's head craned over to lay lightly on top of mine.

"I know,".

We sat there until the sun had fully set and the moon's glare lit up the room with a calming glow.

Time escaped us until my arms slid from his neck to his lap, where there stayed as we both fell into a deep slumber.