What If We Don't See Each Other Again?

‘Where were you?’ Austin yawned on did a grabby hands. I giggled and climbed back into my bunk. Austin pulled me tightly against his chest. ‘Just checked on Ben.’ I snuggled even closer to him. ‘I could get used to this.’ Austin sighed happily and pressed his lips into my hair. ‘To what, may I ask?’ Austin squeezed my body. ‘Sleeping with you.’ He whispered and fell asleep.

I really liked Austin; he was kind, charming and fun. He tried his best to make me feel happy, even if it was almost impossible to be. I want to be with him, but I don’t know can I. Oliver break my trust in men and dating. I know Austin is the opposite of Oliver, but he is a man too. They think with their cocks and you can’t do a damn thing about it. Maybe some point of the tour, if he asks, I might be able to be his, but what about after tour? What if we don't see each other’s again?
Days passed and the UK part of this tour was over.

Heathrow airport, London. 10.8.2013 8.15

‘How the hell do you open your e-mail with this piece of shit?’ I almost cried. I’ve been trying to open my e-mail application for hours and I was giving up. ‘You got to be kidding me.’ Austin laughed and took the phone from my hands, just in time before I was going to throw it to the wall. ‘Here you go, don’t rip your hair off darling.’ Austin placed the phone on the table, next to my coffee cup. Oh, who knew, I really was ripping my hair off. ‘Thank you.’ I sighed and started to open the mails. ‘It so cute how you are so against technology.’ Austin smiled. ‘I’m not against technology. Technology is against me. I don’t know what I have done to deserve this.’ I corrected him.

‘Do you want something to eat before we head back to the gates?’ Austin asked. He was holding my hand, pulling me to the tax free shop. ‘If you want me to eat something.’ I smiled knowing I wasn’t hungry, but Austin hated the idea of me not eating anything, like I had done the past five days. Austin picked up a basket and started to fill it with sweets. ‘Are you trying to get us into sugar rush?’ I laughed as Austin kept loading sweets into the basket. ‘We can get chips, they are salty right?’ I wanted to laugh at him so much, but tried to keep it in. ‘Yeah, let’s get crisps.’ I giggled. ‘Chips.’ He coughed. ‘Crisps.’ We kept arguing about what are they called, until we were at the gates.

Everyone stared at us, while we yelled chips and crisps to each other’s. Finally I gave up, not wanting to slap him. Austin sat next to Amanda, who was sitting on the floor, back against the wall. I sat on Austin’s lap and opened the back of Walkers barbeque crisps. I ate one, before Austin stole the bag from me. ‘Hey, I was eating those crisps.’ I pouted, highlighting the word ‘crisps’. He shook his head against my back. ‘Really?’ H laughed, making me laugh.

‘Why is everyone staring and smiling?’ I whispered to Austin. He shrugged. ‘Because you are eating love.’ Amanda sighed, eyes closed. ‘Well I’m hungry.’ I pouted just to get poked to the back of my head. ‘No pouting, more eating.’ Austin handed me the crisps as he opened a bag of m&m’s, which was a huge mistake.

‘Hey, give me some too.’ Danny attacked. Soon Austin had fed everyone, except Oliver who didn’t bothr to get up from his seat. ‘They took all.’ He sighed and took another bag from the tax free shops plastic bag. ‘How much candy did you buy?’ Alan rolled his eyes. ‘Sweets.’ I coughed. ‘Oh c’mon Dalia.’ Cameron laughed. ‘Hey I thought you were in team British son of a bitch.’ Cameron rolled his eyes and threw me with his last m&m and missed.

Few hours later:

‘Welcome to Germany.’ James laughed and carried me on his back, to the luggage pick up. ‘Put me on the line.’ I commanded and James obeyed. We were the first ones to get here; others were still coming out from the plane. ‘Wait up Dalia, I’m coming too.’ Matt laughed and threw his backpack on James. He sat next to me. ‘Fucking knobheads.’ I heard Oliver sigh. ‘Smile for the video.’ Tom laughed and walked beside us with a small video camera on his hands. I flipped him off and Matt laughed.

‘Excuse me, you need to get off the line or I have to ask you to leave.’ German security man shouted in a poor English. ‘Party pooper.’ I sighed and jumped off. Matt was still on the line. I grabbed his sleeve and pulled him off. He landed on his stomach to the ground. ‘Thanks.’ He murmured. ‘Hey, if I’m not having fun, neither are you Matty-boy.’ I laughed. ‘Are you still filming?’ Tom nodded. I bent down in front of the camera and smiled at the lens. ‘Hello, I’m Dalia and this is what I think about Tom filming us.’ I licked the lens as much as I could before Tom moved it away from me. ‘Good one Bruce.’ Matt high-fived me.

Amphitheater Gelsenkirchen, Gelsenkirchen, Germany. 14.29.

‘Aaron, but me down, now.’ I wined. Aaron had kidnapped me as soon as we got to the amphitheater after stopping by the hotel. ‘Stop squirming or I throw you into the canal.’ He laughed. ‘I’m serious.’ His laughter died. ‘Fine.’ I sighed and let him carry me. He took me to the line outside the actual venue or whatever you might call it.
‘Who wants to meet one of my best friends?’ Aaron yelled. Everyone in the line started to scream Aaron’s name and I love you’s and few omg’s. ‘C’mon dude, but the girl down.’ I heard Austin laugh. The line went crazy when the whole Of Mice & Men tried to catch Aaron who was running away from them still carrying me. Soon all the three bands were running after Aaron, trying to catch me. All the fans laughed and cheered for Aaron, who was slowing down.

‘I give up.’ He panted and put me down. Guys started to play games with the fans and I played Simon says with Austin and Ben. The game was over from my part quickly. I sat on the pavement cross legged, watching as Austin gave commands. Austin and I were matching, black skinnies, red t shirt, red flannel and red beanie. It was better look for Austin than me due the pink hair that didn’t really go well with the bright red color.
‘I can’t do this anymore.’ Austin laughed. ‘Someone else, please I’m the worst Simon ever.’ I giggled at him. ‘My sister.’ Ben yelled. I shook my head, but Austin walked over me, helped me up and carried to the spot where he was standing just seconds ago. ‘The most beautiful Simon ever.’ Austin quickly kissed me. I blushed and the fans made ‘aww’ sounds. ‘Umm, okay, Simon says smack Ben once.’ I laughed. ‘Well fuck you too Dalia.’ Ben yelled and started to get punches.

We played for ten minutes before we had to leave for the sound check. ‘That was fun.’ Ben said sarcastically and rubbed the bruise on his arm from the smacking. ‘Well you wanted me to be Simon, so don’t complain.’ I said and took Austin’s hand.

Bring Me the Horizon 21.00

‘I want to give you wankers an advice, so listen very carefully.’ Oliver screamed to the audience. ‘If you fall in love with someone, while you are in relationship with someone you don’t love like you used to, don’t start new relationship while you already are.’ Oliver sighed and looked at my direction on the side stage. ‘Just choose the one you love and don’t fuck up. This song is Shadow Moses.’ I felt Austin’s hold on my hips tighten. My jaw dropped. ‘How could he?’ Amanda spat. She had heard the short speech Oliver had and ran straight to me.

‘Oliver Scott Sykes, what the fuck is wrong with you?’ Amanda yelled at him after they had ended their set. Austin was on stage and I really wanted to stay and watch, but I had a bone to pick with older Sykes. ‘She is.’ Oliver yelled back at her and pointed at me. ‘I can’t get her out of my mind. I just can’t. And she makes it even worst when she lies about shagging Jordan. I know she was with me that night. I remember it.’ He cried. Jordan’s arm appeared on my waist. ‘You want to tell him or stick with our story?’ He whispered. ‘story’ I mouthed to him getting a nod.

‘Oliver, this is your fault. You have to just try not to think about me. And fuck you, I slept with Jordan, not you. You really think I would lie about thing like this?’ I’m better liar than anyone thinks, fucking hell, even I bought that and I know the truth. Oliver’s head dropped. ‘I can’t just stop thinking about you. I love you.’ I shook my head. ‘No you don’t, if you love me, if you loved me from the start, you wouldn’t have been dating two girls at the same time.’ I cried and left the scene with Jordan. I wanted to see Austin.

‘I’m so sorry; I’ll be back in a minute.’ Austin dropped his microphone and ran off the stage. ‘Go back.’ I cried. I was on my knees, crying and Jordan was holding me. ‘No, I don’t want to leave you while you are crying Dalia.’ He said firmly. ‘Come with me.’ He offered me his hand. I looked at Jordan who gave me a smile and pat on my back, before he left. I took Austin’s hand and he pulled me into a hug.

‘This, my friends, is Dalia Bruce.’ He introduced me to the crowd. ‘This is, When You Can’t Sleep at Night.’ Crowd screamed. Austin pulled me against his body and started to sing with Aaron.

Here in this world I’m awaked with mistakes. But its love that keeps fueling me, fueling me. Pretty little lady with your swollen eyes would you show them to me? I know I’m not that perfect, but you stay awhile baby, then you will see. Miles away I can still feel you lay your head down on my embrace, my embrace, far away…

Pretty little lady with your swollen eyes would you show them to me? I know I’m not that perfect, but you stay awhile baby, then you will see. Don’t give up, Baby I know that its shaky. Just let love consume us, consume us…

Here in this world I’m awaked with mistakes, but its love that keeps fueling me, fueling me to love you. Miles away I can still feel you lay your head down on my embrace. Be not afraid to love me…
Pretty little lady with your swollen eyes would you show them to me? I know I’m not that perfect, but you stay awhile baby, then you will see.