What If We Don't See Each Other Again?

‘Dalia, please wakeup.’ I heard my best friend’s voice through the darkness. ‘Ashby, what happened?’ Oliver’s voice echoed in my head. ‘She passed out.’ Alan cried and tried to shake me. ‘Dalia.’ Austin sounded panicked. ‘Shut up, it hurts.’ I whined and opened my eyes.

Oliver, Lee, Alan and Austin were kneeled around me, they all looked worried. Lee was on phone with someone. ‘Yeah, in front Of Mice bus.’ He said into the phone and hang up. ‘Are you okay?’ Alan got up and offered me a hand to help. Alan had seen this happen before. ‘Yeah.’ I nodded and let him help me up. ‘I was so worried.’ Austin cried and grabbed me into a tight hug.

‘Where is she?’ I heard my big brother. Austin let go of me. ‘Ben.’ I cried and he ran over us. Ben pulled me into a hug. ‘I almost died on a heart attack when Lee called and said you were out cold on a street.’ He cried pulling me tighter against him. ‘I know this isn’t the right time to say this, but shit Ben has a soft side.’ Oliver said, holding back laughter.

‘I know.’ I said laughing and let go of my brother. ‘Let get back to the bus and make you something to eat.’ Ben took my hand. ‘Can she walk?’ Lee asked. I took few steps towards the bus but fell back to the ground. ‘I take that as a no.’ Alan sighed. Ben helped me up taking firm grip on my left arm and Alan did the same with my right arm. ‘Austin, keep the bus here till I come back, I won’t be long.’ Alan said to Austin, who nodded and made his way to their bus, not sure should he stay and help or not.

‘Before you go, what happened?’ Oliver yelled after us. ‘Don’t worry about it mate.’ Ben answered and told Oliver and Lee to go to their bus and that we will see them at the next location.

‘Are you sure?’ Alan hesitated. ‘Yeah Ashby, I can take care of her.’ Ben said and Alan let go of me. ‘Call if something happens?’ I nodded and Alan left. Ben helped me inside and placed me on the couch. ‘I’m going to make you dinner.’ Ben kissed my forehead and went to the kitchen area.

For the next half an hour the whole band took care of me. I was so sure they would offer to chew my food for me, but luckily they didn’t. ‘Does this happen often?’ James sat next to me on the couch. I took a bite of my sandwich and chew it slowly. ‘Once a week on minimum.’ I said. ‘Why?’ He asked carefully. I looked around the space; there were Justus two. ‘I skipped lunch and my pills have strong side effects.’ I said calmly and took one more bite from the sandwich. ‘Ben, are you hungry?’ I yelled and it took just ten second for him to come and take the rest of the sandwich. James started to laugh at my brother as he stuffed the sandwich into his mouth.

Ben sat across from me to the other couch. ‘How can you two act so normally?’ James whispered. ‘We are used to this.’ Ben said sighing. James looked really worried about me. Both of them gave me a good night kisses and went to their bunks where the rest of the band already was.

‘Daddy’ was already driving us toward the next destination, Las Vegas. Because we were going to drive through the night or until we were on the avenue I decided to make some coffee for him. I think it’s only fair to help him in anyways I possibly could, he had to deal with my brother and his mates not to mention that he had to drive us around the country, from one state to another.

‘I thought you would need this.’ I smiled and handed a huge thermos mug to ‘Daddy’ who looked tired. He took his right hand off from the wheal and took the mug. ‘Thank you.’ He sounded surprised and happy. ‘You know, this is the first time anyone ever done anything like this.’ He smiled and took a sip. ‘I mean the guys normally just come here to show their dicks and then go back.’ He chuckled at the memory. ‘Yeah, well even if my surname is Bruce, I’m nice.’ I giggled and sat on the floor, next to the driver.

‘I know it’s none of my business, but I found your medication from the kitchen and wondered,-the blue eyed man took a deep breath-how long have you been struggling with all this, you know depression and anorexia?’ I sighed and stared at my hands. ‘You don’t have to tell.’ He smiled but I shook my head. ‘I trust you.’ I gave him a sweet smile, which he returned.

‘When I was fourteen Ben kind of just left me with our parents in England. We were close and I missed him a lot. Suddenly I got depressed because he wasn’t around anymore. I started to do stupid things.’ I almost whispered hoping he heard what I said so I wouldn’t have to repeat. ‘Like what?’ ‘Daddy’ asked, not moving his gaze from the dark road. ‘I have too much self-made scars.’ I sighed and he nodded sadly. ‘Anyway, the anorexia started almost month after Ben left. Our mom started to call me fat and disgusting almost every day. At school ‘fat’ was already my nickname, but when mom said it, I couldn’t handle it anymore and I just stopped eating. Dad didn’t say nor do anything to stop my mother from bringing me down, mom was the head of the house. Ben came to visit us year after. He immediately took me with him and he applied for custody of me. Of course he got it because my mother didn’t give a shit what happened to me. Dad in turn hesitated about the thing, but agreed, since he had noticed what my mom did to me.’ I took a deep breath. ‘I was just fifteen when I moved to states to live with my five years older brother who is in rock band and loves to drink. When I came along he was into drugs. It took maybe a year to get him stop doing that shit and when I turned sixteen Ben took me to this anorexia camp thing because he wanted to help me like I helped him. From the anorexia camp they sent me to mental hospital for twelve months not asking if I wanted to, they didn’t even tell to Ben. One night I sneaked to one of the offices and called Ben, telling where I was. Ben came to take me home.’ I ended my story and whipped the few tears that managed to escape my eyes. ‘But now you are here.’ ‘Daddy’ smiled and patted my head.

‘How much anymore?’ I asked and tried to see something from the window, but it was too dark to see anything. ‘Well we left at midnight and the drive takes five hours and clock is what?’ I checked my clock. ‘Half four.’ I sighed. Boys have been sleeping for good three hours now and I’ve been keeping company with our driver. We talked about many things.

‘So, I overheard guys talking earlier about something, but I’m not sure can I tell you.’ John the bus driver said. I actually asked him about his name and that gave him a good laugh. ‘I know you will tell me anyway.’ I laughed quietly. We were like gossiping teenage girls. ‘You know it girl.’ John said mimicking annoying teenage girl, which made us laugh again.

‘Boys were talking about them hearing Oliver talking about you. That Sykes boy got a crush on you darling.’ He chuckled. ‘Does everyone in here eavesdrop each other’s-then it hit me-wait what? I mean Oliver is cute, bit annoying for what I know, but really good looking, but his too old, like twenty six and I’m what? Eighteen.’ I nervously laughed. ‘Don’t worry honey, Ben said that if he even tries to make a move on you, he will, quoting him ‘rip his negligible dick off and shove it to his arse and so far that it comes out of his mouth’. My jaw dropped.

We spent the rest of the night talking about Oliver Scott Sykes.

Las Vegas, Nevada. 21.4.2013. 07.37

‘Yeah Alan, I’m fine. I was just starting to make something to eat.’ I said to the phone and tried to open a peanut butter jar with one hand ‘But we already have everything done. Just come here.’ Alan begged. I knew it was too early to wake Ben or the others up and John had already eaten and he was now putting tent up next to our bus, because we had two shows in Vegas plus the day off. ‘Fine, I’ll be there in five.’ I hang up. I checked myself from the bathroom mirror. Bags under my eyes were really noticeable even if I had tried to cover them with thick layer of makeup. I tied my hair up and straightened my shirt. I exited the bathroom and grabbed my medication bag, leaving the bus.

‘John, if the guys wake up, tell them that I’m at Mice and Men and that I would make the breakfast when I come back.’ I pecked the older man’s cheek and light a cigarette. ‘As if they would wake up this early.’ John laughed and continued doing whatever I interrupted.

‘Dalia!’ Austin happily shouted as I walked into their bus. ‘Austin!’ I shouted back. He came and grabbed my hand, pulling me to the table, where everyone else was already sitting. The table was full of fruits and berries, cereal boxes, bacon, pancakes, eggs and different drinks. I sat next to Alan and Austin sat back to his seat, in front of me. ‘Somebody smells like cigarettes.’ Alan sang and hugged me. ‘Why this much food?’ I giggled. ‘Austin is one hell of an angry slender man.’ Tino laughed and went back to his pancakes earning a punch in the arm from Austin.

‘Let me help you.’ Alan said and took my medication bag from me. ‘One of each, right?’ I nodded and smiled as Alan tried to desperately open the pill bottles. One by one he handed me the pills and I took them with a vitamin juice Alan had bought for me to keep in their bus, just in case.

‘What are those?’ Austin asked, pointing the remaining pills on my hand. ‘Something I need to take.’ I sighed and swallowed another one. ‘Austin, tour turn.’ Phil said and handed him pills. ‘Austin has Marfan Syndrome.’ Phil told me, but I had no idea what that was. ‘It causes the aortic artery to swell. I had heart surgery to help my condition.’ Austin added pointing at his scar in the middle of his chest, and took his meds. ‘That’s why we are feeding him so much healthy stuff, to keep him healthy.’ Alan smiled and started to put berries on my plate.

‘I know you love berries, so eat those and take more if you can.’ Alan said and pecked my cheek. I stared at the plate which had fife strawberries and a spoon full of blueberries, pile of grapes and a slice of apple.

I started to eat and managed to finish the strawberries and few grapes before my stomach started to resist. ‘Are you sure you can manage with that?’ Tino asked, staring at my plate. He must have noticed I stopped eating. ‘What? You can’t be done yet?’ Austin almost spat his water at me. ‘Let her be.’ Alan told to the others and hugged me. ‘I’m not really a breakfast person.’ I lied.

‘You eat more than I remembered.’ Alan smiled proudly. My stomach was killing me. Alan tried to calm me down and do everything he could to make me feel better. ‘Wait, what?’ Austin looked really confused. We had ended breakfast and we were sitting on the couch, watching some lame soap opera. Loud knock on the bus door saved me. Austin jumped up from the couch and opened the door. I recognized Oliver’s voice, but I didn’t hear what he said but Austin was easy to hear. ‘Yeah, come in, no worries and there is still coffee if you want.’ Austin smiled, letting Oliver in.

When Oliver noticed me on the couch a huge smile grew on his face and he greeted me, sounding really happy. Oliver and Austin were leaning on the kitchen counter, talking about a prank they were going to pull on Danny. Guess they didn’t remember that I was sitting in the same space with them, but I kind of didn’t care if someone pulled a prank on him, he wasn’t my favorite person. Danny was rude then he was all nice. He didn’t listen me when I asked him to leave me alone nor did he listen when I ordered him to shut up or get off of me.

‘Okay mates, that’s a lame one.’ I shook my head about their plan to run on stage, dressed up as Danny and sing with him. ‘If you want to prank Danny properly, cover his microphone with Tabasco and squeeze lime juice into every water bottle he may try to reach. After he drinks it, run to the stage singing something in Spanish and take over the show.’ God I was good at this, I chuckled. Oliver’s jaw dropped and Austin had a biggest shit eating grin that I have ever seen. 'She is definitely a Bruce.' Oliver laughed and Austin agreed. We spent two hours planning the prank, with Lee, Alan Phil and few crew members.