Another Wave Has Turned Its Back On Me

It happened again. Except this time, the volcano eruptions were substituted by waves. And large ones at that. Every time I managed to pull myself up, a larger one would drag me down with it. I had finally given up and when the last massive wave pushed me to the bottom, I stopped struggling. That's when I saw her. My mother; with her bright blue and golden eyes looking up at me. She was pulling on my leg, dragging me further down to the ocean depths. I kicked and attempted to release myself from her grasp. That's about the time I had woken up, kicking something warm.. Almost felt like a leg..

"Al? Alex are you okay?" I heard someone calling.. Mike? "Wake up." He said, nudging my side. 

I opened my eyes and found myself less than an inch from his face. He had worry in his eyes and wrinkles in his forehead that proved it. I tried to answer or assure him that I was okay, but all I could see was my mom. That is, until tears started to blur my vision. I tried to blink them back, but it was too late. I was already quickly wrapped into Mike's arms with him shushing and rocking me. 

"It's gonna be alright, Alex. I'm here. You're okay.. Shh... You're okay.." By this point my breathing was becoming more steady and I forced back my pathetic tears. I didn't want anyone to see me weak. Especially not Mike. 

"I'll be okay, Mike. I'm sorry. Thank you," I had just barely whispered, pulling back from the hug and looking into his caring brown eyes. Why did they care for me so much? Why did anyone? Neither him or his family knew about my mother's death yet. And I wasn't ready to bring it up. At least not today. 

"I know you don't want to talk about it now. But I'll be here when you do okay? I'll always be here." He hugged me again, this time I wrapped my arms around him too, as if showing a thank you. I nodded into his shoulder. "Now let's go get you some food. I don't know about you, but I've got a terrible fucking hangover."

We got out of bed and I spotted a pair of his gray sweatpants laying in a clean laundry basket. I had been so uncomfortable tossing around all night in my jean shorts that I just threw them off and pulled the soft material over my legs. When I realized Mike had been watching me do this, I pushed him towards the door to go downstairs, blushing. 

To my surprise, Jaime was back, sitting at the table with Tony, who eyed me and Mike carefully. It was starting to freak me out; how oddly cautious Tony got when he saw me with Mike. He couldn't feel the same way I did. It was too soon and I had barely even had a real, long conversation with him. I shrugged and made my way to the kitchen, my nose leading the way the second it smelt pancakes being  cooked. 

I turned the corner and found Vic, smiling at me and flipping pancakes. The best hangover remedy I could think of right now. 

"I'm guessing you slept well," He said gesturing to my messy hair and Mike's borrowed sweats. 

"Oh shut up and make me my food bitch." I went back over to the table and grabbed a seat next to Jaime and Tony, with Mike on the opposite side. We went on to eat our pancakes, Vic and Jaime complaining about how badly their heads were killing them, considering they were head banging to the heavy metal they were blasting the night before. Once I was done, I realized the time and jumped up from my seat. 

"Where's my bag? I have to leave, like, now. My dad's gonna be pissed" I hurriedly stated, looking all over the living room for at least my car keys. 

"Its in my room, and be quiet you're giving me a migraine," Vic said quietly, rubbing his temples. I ran upstairs to Vic's room and grabbed my bag off his bed, sprinting down the stairs and to the door. 

"I'll see you guys later, hopefully." I said, earning a few small waves and "see ya"s in return. I opened the door to have the burning San Diego sun beating down on my skin. I realized I stole Mike's pants on accident, but I wasn't in a mood to care. I got to my car parked across the street and hopped in, making my way back home. 

After I got yelled at by my dad for having him "worried to death," I went to my own bathroom upstairs and jumped in the shower. I got out and dried my hair, pulling on another pair of shorts and my favorite Star Wars t-shirt when I heard my dad call me downstairs once again. 

"Some guy is here.. Tony I believe?" My dad said, looking at me suspiciously. 

"Calm down, he's our new neighbor and in fact my new friend.. And I think he probably wants to go chill for a little while, so I'll see you okay?" I ran out the door, bumping into Tony a little in the process. 

"Well hello there," he said, surprised at my eagerness to leave and looking down at my shirt. "No... Oh my god do you like Star Wars? You're kidding right?!" He widened his eyes in disbelief, practically jumping up and down in excitement. He looked like a little boy about to go to Disney for the first time. I chuckled a little. 

"Oh, no. Its only my favorite thing ever. If your favorite is The Empire Strikes Back then I'll start planning our wedding right now I swear." He let out a pretty loud "fuck yes" and low-fived me. 

"We should go have a marathon right now! I have every one." I nodded excitedly and we practically ran to his house, only a few feet away from mine.

This just made him even more attractive to me and I was surprised there weren't cartoon hearts popping out of my eyes at this point. I've only known him for two days, and all I wanted to do was sit there and just watch him talk all day. I tried to tell myself no. But he had on a black band shirt with the sleeves cut off and it was showing his tan, tattooed arms so well that I kept staring. He caught me a few times, actually. And once he led me to his room I stared more and more, and it seemed like he did too. Then we started talking. 

For some insane reason, I mentioned my mom and he mentioned his dad. He had told me he knew what it was like for a parent to leave you on your own; to leave you helpless and afraid. I told him about more than I wanted, and choked back too many tears. I would not cry in front of Tony. I couldn't stop talking, though. I told him about my habits, my scars, my new cuts, my adventures, my old relationships, and my family. And he did the same. And he made me promise not to hurt myself. And I told him about how I don't keep promises. By the time our mouths finally got sick and tired of talking, we had missed the whole first movie and our lips thought of a better hobby.

He kissed me first. It was so unexpected and rushed that I pulled back a bit, until I felt the comfort beneath his lips. They were soft and moved gently but firmly on mine. I kissed back. Once. Twice. His tongue slid across my bottom lip and I let him in. The same way I let him into my personal life, something I rarely shared. I don't know why, but he made me feel comfortable. Which was something I was longing for. He didn't force me to tell him anything and he didn't give me sympathy, while I did the same for him. 

He gripped my waist and I tangled my fingers into his wavy brown locks, pushing his hat off. I was now laying my back on his bed as he hovered over me, our tongues smoothly dancing together as he kissed me like I'd never been kissed before. I pulled his hair a little and let out a barely audible moan into his mouth, to which he tugged on my bottom lip, grunting slightly onto my mouth. He ran his warm, calloused fingertips under my shirt, rubbing up and down my sides and sending shivers throughout my whole body. Although I loved the way he made me feel and didn't want to stop this, memories from my past hit me square in the heart. I felt like he pretended to listen, just like my ex, and he was using me. I pulled away, feeling paranoid. 

"I-I'm sorry.." He began with confusion laced in his soft, lust filled eyes. He ran a hand through his hair, letting out a seemingly frustrated sigh which tickled my neck as it passed by me. I shook my head. Looking at him cleared my thoughts and once again, I found myself pulling his lips to mine, colliding them gently until he kissed back. Our tongues battled again until our breathing was deep and difficult to maintain. We both pulled away in unison and stared for a while, grinning at each other.

He laid down beside me and we faced each other, laying like this for a good amount of time, with his fingers twirling one of my dark curls. The only thing heard was our still deep breathing, and the ending credits music in Revenge Of The Sith. I laughed lightly to myself, blushing and turning my head at a ridiculous observation. 

"What?" He asked, still swirling my curl between his fingers above my head, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.  

"We missed the first three movies Tone!" I laughed again, louder this time and he let out a small giggle. Wow. Every noise he made was adorable. His voice itself made me want to grab his face and kiss it all over again. I noticed him smirk to himself as he watched me laugh. Then he smiled wider and looked almost deeper into my eyes and around my face. "What are you looking at?" I asked quickly, and a bit self consciously. 

"You're really fucking beautiful." He breathed out a very low "wow" shortly after looking over my face again. I blushed madly and tried to look away quickly, but he captured me in a lingering kiss.

Something about whatever was going on between us felt okay for once. As cliche as it sounds, it actually felt right. Like I did something right. Not that I should be congratulated for making out with a boy I just met and nearly ran over the other day, but I knew now that I liked him. And I figured it wasn't such a bad idea. I clearly had nothing to loose, so why the fuck not? There was one thing stuck on my mind after he kissed me goodbye and I walked hesitantly towards my house. Almost a guilty feeling.. In which I soon found that feeling to be Mike and the way he looked at me since I came back.