So Far Away.

Sara and I were at the mall yet again to exchange clothes. The shirt made her look fat in a different light, she said. The pants made her butt sag, she said. Everytime she complained, my eyes would roll. I was surprised I didn't get any head aches.

I was scanning a rack that had some clearance clothes, thinking maybe I would find something cute. I did find a dark navy skirt with polka dots on it for five dollars, a tank top for three dollars, and a jean sleeveless jacket for fifteen dollars. Not a bad deal at all, I thought to myself.

"How about this?" Sara asked walking out of the fitting room. I tilted my head and motioned her to twirl. She had on a cute pair of shorts, and a loose fitting tank top that was bright pink.

"Very summer," I said, nodding approvingly. "It makes you look tan and skinny. Way to kill two birds with one stone."

Her finding 2 outfits lasted 2 hours where as my one outfit took me 10 minutes. I worried about her.

"I think I'll wear the zip up sweatshirt when he comes in the first night, he'll be tired so we can be comfy or something. I'll wear the sun dress if we go to the zoo, and I can wear the shorts and the blouse if we go to the movies or a nice dinner," Sara rambled on.

As she spoke, I checked my phone and it said I had a text. My heart leapt and I clicked on it.

"MOM: Can you pick up some bread? Thanks!"

As soon as my heart skipped up in the air it fell, hard, then shattered and melted. It had been three days since Eli had text me, and I was miserable. I tried not to show it and tried getting him out of my head.

Sara hasn't mentioned him either, neither has my mom. I liked it that way, though.

"I can't believe he's going to be here in four days," Sara mumbled. We were already in her car on our way back to her house.

"Me neither," I said quietly. "Seems like yesterday you first wrote to him." I turned and Sara bit her lip. "What?"

"It's nothing," she waved me off.

"Obviously it's something."

"I was just about to say that I wish Eli was coming too."

"Ah, Elijah." My voice strengthened from anger..

"Come on, Alex-"

"What?" We pulled up to my house and she turned her car off, unbuckled her seat belt and twisted to face me.

"He had every right to date who he wanted to. You two weren't together. He doesn't deserve your silent treatment. He's hurting, Alex. Adam said he might not even go to NYU. He said he never wants to go and do anything. He just sits at home, in his room, alone."

My mouth hung open. I honestly had no idea what to say. I wasn't sure if I should be offended, sad, angry.

"Are you done?" I snapped. She didn't answer me. She twisted back into her seat and turned the car on as I stepped out and slammed the door.

I wasn't sure if I was pissed at the fact that my best friend took someone else's side, or because she was right. He did have every right to date someone. Of course, I have a right to be mad, but maybe I took it too far. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and frowned, no messages, no missed calls, no nothing.

"Bread?" My mom asked. I dropped my bag of clothes and groaned.

"Sorry, I forgot."

"That's fine," My moms face fell. "I've been craving peanut butter and jelly for some reason."

"We have honey wheat," I reminded her and she made a disgusted face. I loved honey wheat, and she couldn't stand it for some reason.

"No thanks!" She shouted as I ran up the stairs to my room. I changed into my new outfit and smiled at myself in the mirror. I looked good and I was surprised. I was very pale and I had lost a little weight, but with the right make up it'd be perfect, I thought to myself. I twirled around and felt like a little kid again, watching the skirt flow around. My computer started beeping.

I walked over to it and clicked "accept" to Adams face chat request and sat down in my chair, confused.

"Hey what's up?" I asked concerned.

"Nothing. Sara told me you two got in a fight and she thinks you hate her." He looked worried. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah," I nodded, feeling bad. "It was my fault, I took things out of proportion."

"Ok." he nodded. I nodded with him, wondering why he wasn't saying good bye. I raised my eye brows.

"You ok over there?" I asked.

"Yeah. Yeah everything is...good." He said, drumming his hands on his knees. "Everything is awesome."

"That's good. Well I guess I'll see you in four days."

"Wait!" He said, holding his hands up. He looked at his watch then back at the screen. "How was shopping?"

"Ok, now I know something is up. What's going on?"

"Nothing," he started drumming with his hands again. "Hold on a second." He got up and I could see his feet walking up the stairs. I leaned back in my chair, almost putting my leg up and remembered I was wearing a skirt. A minute later, I saw his feet coming back down, along with another pair of legs.

"What are you doing?" I heard someone ask.

"Just sit," Adam snapped.

A boy with brown shaggy hair, a white dead hands shirt with a black jacket, and peircing green eyes, was staring at me.

"Alex?" He asked shocked. My smile faded.

"Good bye."

"NO!" Adam yelled. "Talk."

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Adam," Eli turned behind him. "Why?"

"I'm tired of being bored! This is the first time you've came over in a long ass time. Kiss and make up so I can have my friend back." Adam said.

"Adam, I'm sorry. I just can't." I said, and hit end call. Tears flooded my eyes. This is how it's supposed to be, I said to myself. It wouldn't of worked out and it'll be better for the both of us in the long run. Short term pain beats long term heart ache.

**

"I didn't know he would do that!" Sara shouted, shocked at what I told her on what happened earlier.

"I know," I sat on my bed, flipping through a magazine. "It was humiliating."

"He did it in the best intentions, i'm sure."

"I know. Still, though."

I could hear her shuffling on the other end of my phone.

"On a serious note; are you ok?" She asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine," I lied.

"You've barely smiled since, like, I don't even remember. I've been trying so hard not to bring up Eli, hoping you would just come out and talk about it but you haven't. So seriously, Alex."

"Ok," I sighed. "I know. My mom hasn't even mentioned him. The thing is," I paused and swallowed hard, hoping I wouldn't start crying like an idiot. "I just, I thought it could work out, you know? Like you and Adam? And when I found out he was with Clare, I don't know it just kind of, broke me."

"But he-"

"I know," I interrupted her. "I know, he did it to try and get over me. Still, though. I really liked him," a tear escaped from my eye. "I don't know, maybe i'm just being too dramatic. It still makes me mad though. I don't think it's because he was dating someone else, I think it's because I was embarassed."

"That makes sense then. Well I have to go help set up the room. Did you wanna help too?"

"No that's fine. Have fun." I said and we both hung up.

I fell back on my bed, and cried. I hadn't cried in a long time. I put a pillow over my face and screamed as loud as I could, and cried some more. Get it all out, I thought to myself.

**

The next few days went by in a blur. Eli hadn't text me, and I was pretty sure after our encounter Adam made us go through he was never going to. The night before I had a text ready to send to him, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. My heart hurt, and I just wanted it to heal.

What was worse was Sara had told me that Adam had mentioned Eli went to a party and was making out with some blonde. I was angry, but more at myself. It was my fault. If I would have apologized to him and gotten over myself, he wouldn't of been slobbering on someone else. I could be like Sara and be happy and excited to meet him face to face. That was never going to happen.

Adam was coming in tomorrow, and all I did the day before was sit around in my sweats, miserable. I watched lifetime movies all day while stuffing my face with chocolate ice cream and pizza. As you could imagine, I had quite the tummy ache.

My phone vibrated and I hit the envelope picture.

"Hey."

I dropped my spoon on my sweatshirt, covering an inch with sticky chocolate.

"Hi," I replied to Eli.

"I just wanted to say that you're a bitch and I hope you burn in hell. Have a great day!"

If I wasn't angry before, oh I was angry now. It felt like fire was climbing up from my feet onto my face. I dialed Sara's number.

"What's up?" She answered.

"Tell Adam to tell Eli that I will shove my 7 1/2 sized foot up his ass, so far, if he EVER talks to me again."

"Ok...wait..what?"

I told her about the text I had gotten.

"Hold on," she said. "What the hell is Eli's problem?" I heard her whisper. I heard a voice in the background. "Well tell him not to talk to Alex again or he's going to get an ass full of her foot."

"Thank you." I said and hung up.