So Far Away.

The next day, Sara and I were eating cereal for lunch since we didn't wake up until noon. I heard my phone vibrate.

"Wanna talk tonight?" Eli asked.

"Sure." I answered.

"No, like, how Sara and Adam did it? Webcam?" I choked on my rice chex. Sara ran over and started punching my back.

"What are you doing?" I shreaked.

"You were choking!"

"You're supposed to SMACK my back not PUNCh me!"

"Well what the hell is wrong!?" She shouted back, pushing her hair out of her face. I showed her my phone and she grinned. "Do it."

"I can't."

"Why not? It'll be fun!"

"You can't be with me though," I whined. Sara had to go to her dads in an hour and he was weird about having her friends over.

"It'll be even better then."

"Not for my nerves," I whispered, taking another bite of my cereal. "I'll just tell him I don't have a web cam."

"You can borrow my laptop then." I glared at her. "No excuses." She snapped.

"Sure." I regrettedly answered Eli. I rested my face in my hands.

"It'll be fine," Saras voice mimicked me. "It's not like you've never talked to him on the phone."

"We've talked like, 3 times on the phone." I argued.

"Let's go bitch, I gotta shower before my dad gets here.

**

"Have fun?" My mom asked as I walked into the door.

"Yeah."

"How was her date?"

"It was fine for her I guess. I watched TV the whole time." I started up the stairs then hesitated. "Mom?"

"Yes." She leaned against the door frame in the kitchen.

"If there's a guy you know-"

"Eli?"

"No. Listen. "If there's a guy you know, and you just got out of a relationship, and you want to keep from being hurt...."

"Alex. If I was in that situation, and trust me I was, I don't want you to do what I did and just sleep around with any guy that would touch-"

"Mom. Really not the point," I said, squinting my eyes hoping she really didn't say that.

"What I'm trying to say is don't let one guy ruin it for you. If you-"

"It's not me."

"Ok well if this person doesn't let anyone in, they aren't going to be happy. Taking risks is a part of love and life. Don't regret not going for anything." She rubbed her hands together and went back into the kitchen. "Eli seems a nice enough boy."

"It's not about Eli!" I stormed up the stairs. Maybe she was right. Just because a jerk cheated on me, and my boyfriend before him cheated on me, and the one before that, doesn't mean every guy is going to do that?

I rolled my eyes and flopped on my bed onto my stomach. "Fat chance," I said outloud. I really wasn't wanting to fall for Eli to end up getting hurt. Or even falling for someone that I want to be with and hold me, when he can't because he's a billion miles away. It's not going to work, I realized. Just stay friends.

**

I pulled my long hair out of my pony tail and started straightening it. My make up was already done and I was wearing my What Would Honey Badger Do? T shirt with some skinny jeans. Once my hair was done and I approved of it in the mirror, I walked into my room and opened my lap top.

I signed into the program and laid on my stomach, flicking my hair to the side. Within two minutes, it did the familiar ringing. My heart skipped.

It took a minute for the camera to come into focus, but then I saw him smiling, his brown hair a little messy, wearing a plain black shirt. I smiled back.

"Hey," he greeted. I waved.

"Hey." Say something, I said to myself. It was only 5 seconds but it felt like an hour before he finally said something.

"So, that's your room?" He pointed. I nodded.

"Want a tour?" I asked. He nodded. I stood up and grabbed my laptop. "This is my desk, and this is my bed. This is my TV in front of my bed, my closet, my mirror and my bookshelf."

"Cool." He said. My mom poked her head in.

"Who in the hell-" She stopped and laughed at me holding my lap top.

I turned the laptop on my mom.

"Mom, this is Eli. Eli, my mom."

"Nice to meet you!" She shouted, moving closer to the screen. "I've heard so much about you."

"Okay mom, bye." She frowned and waved good bye and shut the door on her way out.

"She seems cool. Young," He added.

"She is. Sorry she's a little, out there."

"No problem my parents are the same." I nodded.

"Tell me something I doubt know about you," he suggested.

"Um..." I bit my lip thinking. "I don't knowm" I said laughing.

"What's your middle name?"

"Marie."

"Favorite season?"

"That's a tough one. I love fall. I love spring also." He nodded as I answered all of his questions. By the time he was asking, two hours had passed.

"So, what do you do for fun?" He leaned forward and rested his chin on his hand.

"I read. Or I hang out with Sara."

"You read?" he asked.

"Don't sound too suprised but yes, I read. A lot. Mainly before bed. It helps me sleep."

"Don't tell me you're a twilight fan," he teased.

"I will admit I read all of them. The first one wasn't too bad. I just finished all of the Harry Potters. I'm mainly into True Crime though and biographies on serial killers."

"That's not scary."

I shurgged. "Not really. Most of the true crime that i've read are old and half of them are dead. The biographies, though, the only one that scared me was the BTK killer, now that one gave me nightmares."

"Who?" he asked.

"His motto was 'Bind, Tie, Kill. He would sneak inside houses of single women or women in general, and bind tie and kill them."

"That's crazy," He replied, getting more interested. I nodded.

"Yeah, he even snuck inside this ladys house and she didn't show up so he left her a note."

"what?" He laughed. I nodded.

"Yes. He was smart for a while, until he slipped up."

"What happened?"

"Well, he loved toying with the police," I shifted on my side and stretched my legs, returning to my stomach. "So this police officer asked him if he could send a floppy disk or something like that to them. BTK asked if it could be traced, and of course they're going to say no."

"Did they catch him?"

"Yep. The only thing he said was, 'You lied to me.'" Eli started laughing.

"What an idiot."

"Yeah. It's just crazy how he could fool all these people, his wife, his kids, even the police but this tiny mistake. I'm happy that he made the mistake though."

"Yeah. I wouldn't feel too safe with you there." He said, almost in a whisper. My cheeks started to burn. I cleared my throat, trying to think of something to say.

"Who else have you read about?" he asked.

"Charles Manson. Surely you've heard of him?" I asked.

"I think I have. He was the cult guy right?"

"Yeah. My favorite is The Iceman."

"I don't know who that is," he said shaking his head.

"He was a mafia hit man. He felt no remorse for anything. If you just looked at him wrong, he'd kill you." I explained.

"And you weren't scared of him?" He asked, shocked.

"Not at all. He didn't believe in killing children or women." I grinned. "He was the type of guy that if you showed him respect, he'd return it, unless you're wanted by the mafia."

His face grew solemn and my eye brows furrowed.

"I saw a kid that day. When I was sick?" He reminded me.

"Ok?"

"He was in our green house at school. His name was Cam. I didn't know him too well..." He looked down and scratched his cheek. "He was dead."

My heart stopped. This was serious, I thought. This wasn't something anyone sees everyday, at school, anywhere. I regretting being mad at him during that time.

"Are you ok?" I asked. He nodded, wiping his eyes and he smirked.

"I actually feel better after talking to you. It's like everything just goes blank around me. He killed himself. How could he do that?"

"I don't know," I said shrugging.

"It scares me because it could've been me a while ago," he muttered, looking back down. "When my bi polar was at it's worse."

"Well, it wasn't," I reassured. "Nobody every knows why people do it besides the fact they're sad. Sometimes it just gets too over whelming."

"Yeah," he sighed. He looked back into the camera and smiled. "Sorry."

"Don't be." I smiled back.

"Thank you for listening. You're the only person that hasn't been bothering me about this. Clare is still nagging at me, and I know I have to talk to my therapist, which is fine. I just wanted to talk about it to someone else on my own terms."

"I understand." I tried holding back a yawn.

"Tired?" he laughed.

"No," I lied. I looked at the clock that read 3:00 am. My eyes widened. "It's late." I could hear my voice getting groggy.

"Go to sleep babe."

It seemed like time stopped. What did he say? I nodded, confused.

"Good night," He said softly, looking into my eyes through the camera.

"Good night."

Don't fall for it, I chanted to myself as I slowly fell asleep.