Brontide

Rae looked from her phone to the guy sitting across from her. He glanced at her and smiled, his hands moving from his suspenders to his bow tie, then to his weaved fedora, all perfectly matched. Why would Chris want her to stay with Jeremy? What was going on? It didn't make much sense. She frowned, trying to figure it out.

"What's up, Hon?" he asked, sipping his coffee.

"Do you have any idea why Chris would tell me to stay with you?"

"He's obviously worried about some hunky demon hunter coming and convincing you to travel the United States with him and his equally as hunky big brother and their even more hunky car fighting monsters and all that jazz." Jeremy shrugged. "I'm here to fight them off in
Chris's absence."

She nodded. "That makes sense. But really. It's not my birthday. And I'm not pregnant-- holy shit Jeremy."

"Rachel," he said loudly. "You aren't, are you?"

"No. Fuck no. I live by the 'Don't be silly wrap your willy' law. No. No. God, I hope not. No, no I'm not."

"Then what?"

She paused and looked at him, trying to mentally convey how serious the moment may turn out to be. "He isn't gonna propose, is he?"

Jeremy's eyebrows shot up and then he stood. "I swear to the Heavenly Lord Above if I am not your Maid of Honor, I'm disowning and disinheriting you. I kid you not."

"So he is proposing?!" Rae squealed, as of yet unsure about her feelings.

Jeremy shrugged and sat down again, totally calm again. "Fuck if I know. But it would make sense, going to Pancakeland with you and all to ask your dad."

"Omigod what do I even say, though?"

"Uhm have you seen his face? Have you seen his ass? Have you seen his car? Have you seen his ass? What do you think you should say?"

"Yea but doesn't this seem little soon to you?

He shrugged again. "He's really in love with you. And he is kind of a social retard. Maybe he just doesn't know."

"Yes but what do I say?"

"Tell him the truth," he said. This is one reason why she loved Jeremy. He could be a total weirdo, but pull it together just like that to be like the perfect friend to talk to. "Tell him that you aren't ready for that."

Rae was silent for a while as she finished her coffee and watched the traffic go by out the huge windows.

Suddenly, Jeremy squealed. "Please tell me you've seen the new Doctor Who episode, my love."

"Uhm, not yet. I've been kinda--"

"That's it." He stood and grabbed her hand. "To the Jeremy-Cave."

He held her hand the whole sixteen blocks the the tiny studio apartment he lived in. He slammed through the door and sat her down on the couch. He hit the buttons on the remote with unnecessary force, then started slamming around in the kitchen. A moment later he dropped down next to her with a bowl of popcorn.

"Oh god, god, I love it when he talks fast," Jeremy whispered. "It's like ear porno."

"Still not so hot on Eleven though?"

"'Scuse me Sweetheart, but have you seen Chris Eccelstein? He's absolutely glorious, that Bad Wolf." He giggled.

"Whatever floats you boat, Dear--"

And then about eight things happened at once. There was a bang and a crash and a pop and she was on the ground underneath the entire weight of Chris all in a matter of about five seconds. And then Chris was off of her, grabbing her around the waist and Jeremy by the arm and hauling them both out of the apartment at full speed. Within thirty seconds, she was in the passenger seat of Chris's car, en route to his apartment. Chris got out of the car and pulled her door open. Jeremy got out of the backseat. She expected him to be, hell, in shock, maybe? Instead, he had his eyes glued to Chris like he'd just realized that he wasn't who he thought he was. She looked between Chris and Jeremy, unable to figure out what was going on.

Chris led her up the stairs like she might break. She didn't know why; she didn't even really know what had truly happened yet. But she let herself be steered into Chris's living room and sat on a couch for the second time. Fran jumped up into her lap. The men looked at each other and Rae tried to read their body language.

Both looked ready to pounce, muscles tensed in that loose-jointed way that predator cats get. They were sizing each other up. Then, in turn, they both glanced at her and a mutual agreement seemed to have been reached because they both straightened and relaxed a bit.

"Okay," Rae said, startling Chris and Jeremy. "Are you two gonna just stand there gazing at each other or make out already? I'm feeling like a Destiel shipper right now."

Jeremy chuckled, but Chris looked at her, confused. "A what?"

Jeremy explained. "Destiel, the ship name for Dean and Cas. Supernatural. The Destiel shippers have need waiting for a Destiel Impala sex scene since season four."

Chris looked back at Rae. "Not at all what was happening."

She shrugged. "Well then maybe next time specify the type of intense stare you two are gonna share before it happens so I don't go out and buy some condoms for you two. So are you guys gonna tell me what that was about or do I have to guess?"