The Journal Entries

20 January, 2012 1545PM

I didn’t have to work today, since my boss is attending a funeral with her family. It’s been 10 days since Oliver kissed me at the pub, and I haven’t heard from him since that evening, when he texted me to say he missed me. Of course I wound up texting him back and telling him that I missed him too, but he never replied. And he still hasn’t.

The real kicker, though, is that while I was leaving the Meadowhall Shopping Centre today, I spotted him in the parking lot with a tall blonde bird carrying a hideous Dooney & Bourke wallet that didn’t even remotely match her shoes. They weren’t being affectionate at all, so they could be just friends—but I highly doubt that. They were standing outside her car, laughing with one another about something that I was unaware of.

I feel like a ten-ton truck is crushing my chest. Literally. Every single time I think about him, and imagine him with that girl, I start having chest pains until something takes my mind off of him.

How do I get over him?

I’ve tried everything short of just killing him, which I would never do. But nothing is working. I can’t stop thinking about him, and crying about him, and pining for him. How am I so torn up about someone who cheated on me? My problem is that I can’t move on, so I would really like to know how I can do that.

I’m sure that, later in life, I’m going to look back and think, “Jesus Christ, I can’t believe I was so torn up about him, he was such a loser,” or something. I just really hope this isn’t permanent. I wish I knew how long it would take, so I could make future plans or something.

What really scares me, is that when I saw him with that bird, it was like time stood still all around me. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak, and I couldn’t even hear anything around me. I stood there, staring at them, in the middle of the parking lot like a daft idiot. I had this intense feeling of sorrow that I could never explain. I felt like I was having this bad dream that I couldn’t wake up from.

Maybe I’m just crazy. Maybe I should go see a therapist or something, but I think that’s a little drastic for a bird whose only problems stem from a breakup from her boyfriend. I don’t know what it is, but I need something.

x,
Carlie
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Yay! I got three comments on the last chapter, which is awesome compared to the one I got on the five chapters before! Thank you guys so much for finally showing me that you're alive! I truly do appreciate the feedback that my readers give me; you're all such a blessing!

I try to reply to everyone that comments, but if for some reason I didn't thank you personally, thank you for the comment (:

Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Let me know what you think!

x,
Holli