Another Name Goes up in Lights, You Wonder If You'll Make It out Alive

''I like purple and leather jackets
But I'm not gonna talk about that, in my monologue
I like my fish Ted and a brownie for breakfast
But I'm not gonna talk about that, in my monologue
La la la, la la la

I like writing songs about douche bags who cheat on me
But I'm not gonna say that, in my monologue
I like writing their names into songs so their ashamed to go in public
But I'm not gonna say that, in my monologue

La la, la la la la la
This is my musical monologue

You might think I'd bring up that Johnson guy, who broke up with me on the phone
But I'm not gonna mention him, in my monologue
Hey Martin! I'm doing real well!
Tonight I'm hosting SNL
But I'm not gonna brag about that, in my monologue
La la la, ha ha ha, ha ha ha, ha ha ha, la la la

And if you're wondering if I might be dating the singer of Hot Chelle Rae...
But I'm not gonna comment on that, in my monologue

La la, la la la la la
This is my musical monologue

You might be expecting me to say something bad about Kanye
And how he ran up on the stage and ruined my VMA monologue 
But there's nothing more to say because everything's ok
I'm badass in every way

This is my SNL monologue
La la, la la la
This is my SNL monologue
La la, la la la la la

That was my SNL monologue''