Indigo

Lily’s POV
At the hospital I looked in the mirror and took and picture of with my Polaroid just to remember myself as looking healthy and walked in for my first round of chemotherapy.
** ** **
As I sat in the hospital bed I felt absolutely terrible. No texts from Alex. I didn't want to know what I looked like right now but I asked the doctor for a mirror anyway. I almost cried. No hair, purple circles under my eyes, the rest of my skin was slightly jaundiced, my lips were puffy, I was tired, and even more nauseous than usual. Actually I did cry. I cried hard. My nurse rubbed my back as the doctor explained something about my blood cells, but I wasn't listening. I just wanted to go home and I wanted someone to be there I got there.
When I was alone, I called my mom. I hadn't spoken to her since I left.
“It’s only been a week and a half, what do you want?” she asked harshly. She was drunk.
“Listen mom, I’m going to need you to sober up a bit, because if you haven’t noticed you still have another daughter.” I said but instantly regretted my tone of voice and mention of Angie. “Sorry, but there’s something I need to tell you and I need you to help me out here.” I begged her.
“I don’t need this; I don’t need my own kid telling me to sober up. What, did figure out the real world isn’t as easy as living at home? Do you want me to do your laundry or some shit?” she asked sarcastically and it honestly wasn't what I need at the moment.
“Mom, you may not even remember we had this conversation tomorrow, but I have to tell you this now. I have cancer so if I die you’ll know why, if you even care.” I cried then hung up not wanting to hear her dumb-ass apology. Next, I called Alex because I was desperate for some support. It went right to voice mail. “Hi Alex, it’s Lily, I just wanted to tell you that chemo went fine. I don’t feel like or look like myself, but I’m trying to get better and I love you. You’re probably busy right now and don’t have time but if you can, call me.” I said and my voice cracked at the end and I hung up before sobbing. I felt morphine dripping through my veins and at some point fell asleep.
** ** **
When I woke up I had 3 texts.
Jack: Hey gurlllll! Hope today went good. Luv u! – JACK!
Zack: Hi Lil, stay strong and get better! – Zacky
Rian: Hey Lily I told Cass about you and she wants to meet you maybe after she’s done with tour you guys can hang out! Try not to miss us too much! – RiRi

Still nothing from Alex, so I sent the same message to the guys:
Hey, Thanks. Tell Alex to call me when he can. Love you – Lil
That night I had to sleep in the hospital because it was my first time doing chemo and they didn't know how my body would react.
** ** **
I threw up several times this morning, but the doctor said it was normal, without knowing how normal it actually was for me, and said I could go home.
It was weird being home without noisy boys next-door. I decided to have a smoke on the balcony because I already had lung cancer so I’ve got nothing to lose. I didn't know if that was true or not, but I felt better telling myself it couldn’t be any worse. When I came back inside I went on twitter. Summer from work tweeted me.

@SexySummer_1992: Girl, you might wanna have a talk with your boy-toy @LilyDancerGirl
I replied with. @LilyDancerGirl: Why, what’s goin on? @SexySummer_1992
She just replied with a picture. I clicked it. It was a picture of Alex kissing a girl who I recognized as his ex-girlfriend, Lisa, and I knew it was recent because they were standing in front of a banner that read: Warped Tour 2013. I didn't reply to Summer. I logged off my computer and called Alex.
The phone rang for a while then was sent to voice mail which meant he knew I was calling but ignored it. It made me even more suspicious. I then made a drastic decision.
I was going to the next show to figure out what was going on.