Indigo

Lily’s POV
I wake to an extremely irritating beeping sound. As soon as I open my eyes I regret it. There’s a throbbing in my head as my eyes are rudely greeted by harsh, florescent light. After my eyes adjust, I recognize a sharp pain in my neck as I try to sit up. I call out, all that resonates is a small whimper, but it’s enough to get someone’s attention. Just then I see a sleeping figure on the opposite side of the room; it’s Alex. He wakes up to my awkward noise and rushes to my bed.
“Thank god; you’re okay.” He whispers gleefully and grabs onto my hand.
“Doctor. . .” is all I can say because I cannot breathe. The lung cancer mixed with stitches across my neck was not helping. Alex immediately pushes a button on the wall and within seconds a doctor and two nurses join us in my room.
“Good, you’re awake.” The lab-coat-clad man says while flipping through pages on a clipboard.
“Can’t” my breath catches and I wheeze, “breathe” I finish and try to keep my lungs from imploding. They quickly hook me up to machines that I recognize from the cancer wing and I can breathe again. When I can form sentences properly again, a tear falls down my check and I say: “I’m so selfish; most people with cancer struggle to get out with their lives, I’m lucky to be alive, but I can’t help wanting to die.” I admit and begin to sob. Alex rubs circles over my boney hand but I pull away. “I’m still mad at you.” I inform him yet I put my hand back because right now I really need someone.
I did chemo while at the hospital because I needed to anyway. Alex was there this time. I’m still mad at him.
I did not ask for a mirror this time. I didn’t want to see myself like this. Alex looked close to tears. “So . . . sorry”, was all he said before kissing my hairless head and holding me in his arms. I let him. I turned in the bed so I could cry into his chest.
“Please stay,” inhale, exhale “forever; with me”.