Night March

I open the front door of my house to find my dad standing there waiting for me. Immediately I started to defend myself.
"Sorry dad, I know I'm like thirty minutes late but we couldn't find Kaylee's car in the parking lot at the mall. We had to walk around for twenty minutes only to realize we were looking in the wrong level. Kaylee left her phone in her locker today at school and my phone died, otherwise I would have called you. Please don't be mad." I spit out my reasons way to quick wondering if it even made sense. Holding my breath waiting to hear what punishment will ensue.

My dad smiles and gives me a hug. I breathe a sigh of relief as he says,
"It's okay honey. Look, we need to talk." I look at him worried but he Clarifies, "you aren't in trouble."

He leads me to the living room and I sit down on out ugly, overstuffed brown couch. I settle into the same spot I've been sitting in since I was three. I've sat in it so lobg that it's molded to the shape of my body. Although it hasn't always been my spot; it originally belonged to my Mom. I claimed it when she disappeared shortly after my third birthday. I only have a few brief memories of her. I remember vividly how she smelled, like lavender and vanilla with a touch of baby powder. Her scent remained on the couch for a while after her disappearance. I remember sitting in this spot on the sofa for the first few years after she was gone. I would close my eyes and try to block out everything but the scent she left behind. I would imagine that she was sitting next to me singing me a lullaby.

I know that the scent has gradually faded over the years but even today I feel as though I can still smell a small trace of her. It reminds me of how much I miss her; all I have left is the memory of her scent and a picture I carry with me everywhere. It's a picture from my third birthday. My mom is bright and happy, swinging me in the park. Her hair is long and wavy. It has the beautiful color of straw being kissed by the sun. In the photo my smile is slightly eclipsed by the brilliance of hers. You would never have known that only a few months after this photo was taken she would be gone.

The memory of that day still haunts me... I threw a tantrum the size of Texas when my mom dropped me off at my aunt's house that morning. I kept crying and throwing myself to the floor. At one point I even held onto my mother's leg when she was trying to walk out of the door. I knew I shouldn't be throwing a fit, after all, my mom took me to my aunt's house two days a week when she went to her part time job. I love my aunt and I should have been used to it. I just felt like something was wrong that day. Maybe it was premonition or something, but I remember not wanting my mom to leave.

When my mom finally pried me off of her leg she sat me down and put her hands on my shoulders trying to get me to calm down. She said, "Now Emma, is this how a three and a half year old should be acting?" I shook my head as tears continued to fall down my cheeks. "You're right Emma. You are a big girl now and I need you to act like one. I will be back to pick you up before you know it. For the mean time I need you to be a good girl for your auntie . Can you do that for me?" I gave an over exaggerated nod. "That's my big girl. Now, mommy will be back you know it. I love you this big." She held her arms out wide.

I mimicked her motion and replied "Love you this big too mommy." She gave me a bear hug and then left.

Little did I know that those would be the last words we would share and that would be our final embrace. I never saw her again after that morning. They told us that she had gone out to run an errand for work but she never returned. her car was found outside a grocery store parking lot.