Sequel: A New Start

Diary Entries

March 24th, 2013

My first diary entry...
I woke up this morning very sad and I'm not sure why.
I just feel anxious about every little thing and I worry until my head hurts.
My life really isn't that bad! Just lonely. I don't know how to fix that.
I'm constantly being told to make more friends than just Mila, but it's not that easy.
Mila is an amazing friend! Always there for me. I'll always be there for her.
But I'm still lonely.
Mila has tons of friends! I have one good friend and the rest could care less about me...
For example, Lucy. Lucy is absolutely insane. Since Mila gave up on her, she has not stopped bothering me about it. Lucy's life is a mess and I'm always being dragged into it and I'm sick of it. On top of that, she's being a bitch! I can't stand her at the moment. Lucy is a really, really close friend of mine, so I'm not going to just cut her off, but I'll keep my distance for a bit.
I'm not stable enough to lose another friend.
I made new friends this year, which is a shocker.
Lights, Hayley, and Austin.
Lets begin with Hayley, because it won't be anything but a few sentences.
She's wonderful! She hasn't done anything to annoy me just yet. I'm happy I met her.
Okay, onto Lights.
Ohhhh Lights. You drive me insane.
I've never felt this way about a GIRL before.
Yes, I like a girl. A lot.
She's so cute and so funny and interesting. Her smile can fill my stomach up with butterflies until I feel like I'm going to explode. I hardly even know her, though, which is making me wonder if this is just a phase. But as of now, I really like her and I get nervous around her and I can't stop thinking about her. She isn't single, though. She's got a girlfriend and it drives me crazy, as well.
Then, there's Austin.
It's seems like I tend to fall for people that I just can't have.
Austin is a bit of a dumbass, but I can't help but feel all warm and fuzzy when I'm with him. He's so fucking attractive, too.
I think I just want to have sex with him to be completely honest with you because when he opens his mouth, I can't stand him, aha.
But yeah, that is my life right now and hopefully, stress will just evaporate.
Writing things down really make me feel a lot less anxious...
It's like I leave all of my thoughts on the computer and when I close it, they stay there.
See you tomorrow. <3