Sequel: A New Start

Diary Entries

April 14th, 2013

I woke up with a migrane.
Yesterday was great! I spent all day/night with Mila. We watched a movie, talked, ate, laughed. I wasn't anxious or stressed.
Now that I'm alone, all of that comes back.
I stalked Lucy's twitter and Lights' instagram. Clearly, Lights is Lucy's new best friend. Lights replaced me 100%. Honestly, it shouldn't bother me that much. I know exactly what Lucy's doing, I mean, I know her like the back of my hand and I know how she reacts to certain situations.
It doesn't bother me that it's Lights, it just bothers me that she replaced me completely and for absolutely no reason at all. I did NOTHING to her.
I got sick of her moody and sad attitude and I don't talk to her as much, but over the break, I texted her, you know, asked her how she was doing. She didn't once try to contact me.
Then Lights texts me asking why I unfollwed Lucy on instagram and tells me that Lucy is "hurt." It doesn't seem like she gives a shit, actually. I feel right now that Lucy could give less of a shit about how I am and what I'm up to and how I'm feeling. I think that now that she's got her old friends back, she doesn't need me anymore.
That's what I did to my enemy. ((Who isn't a character btw))
I slightly feel like this is karma.
I cut off my ex-bestfriend slowly after I found new friends.
Now, I think that's what is going to happen to me.
Maybe I did cause that girl a lot of pain and yeah, I fucking hate her more than anyone.
But maybe this is karma.
All I know is that truely, it isn't a big deal. Really.
I'm just a bit hurt, but I'm sure I can get over it.
As long as I have a place at lunch, I'm fine, and its kinda annoying that its like that, like... I'm annoying myself... but that's all that really matters at this point.
I don't need Lucy except for that reason, I don't have any classes with her.
I just need Lights, Hayley, A, and L to care at least a little about me so that I can have them around and not feel too lonely at school.
Lucy doesn't bother me very much.
And I know that bothers her.