Sequel: A New Start

Diary Entries

April 28th, 2013

Lately, I haven't been too anxious. Of course, today, I am because it's Sunday, which means that there's school tomorrow. The word school makes me anxious. Lucy wasn't around at school on Friday which (not surprisingly) made the day 1000x better! Friday was great. Everyone was nice and it wasn't too bad at all. People actually said that they missed me, which made me feel better about being at school.
Tomorrow, it's guaranteed that Lucy will be around, though. Now I have that spot at lunch that is kind of and outsider. No one sits in front of me. It's quite lonely. I didn't have that on Friday because Lucy wasn't there, which meant, of course, Austin wasn't either. He was looking for Lucy.
I'll bring my salad tomorrow and pretend that the reason I'm not talking is because I'm busy eating and I'll sit on my phone, on twitter, silently. If I act sad, she'll think I'm sad, and she'll be happy that she isn't the only sad person. So, I'll be happy. Because I know, in the back of my mind, that truly no one at that table actually hates me. If I include myself in conversations, they would converse with me, it's just that I never know what to say or what to talk about. So, I'll talk if I want and I'll eat my salad the rest of the time. It's only 30 mins. And if Lights brings her laptop, which I hope she'll forget to do, I will go to the same room as them and do my online work the entire time, sigh. But if she forgets, then that will be the end of my day with them, which is actually a good, stress free thing.