Sequel: A New Start ›
Diary Entries
May 5th, 2013
My anxiety is coming back and that's why I'm writing tonight.
I really want to get over my current crushes.
It's clear to me that I will never be with them.
Lights is in love with Hayley.
Austin is in love with Lucy.
Nothing will change because they've both been in love for their entire high school experience.
I can't change that. I won't change that.
I don't know why I get so anxious about school.
On Friday, they all disappeared at lunch, again, but I felt okay. I sat with a new friend. But that makes me feel like I'm disliked. I've got to realize that their lives (not including Austin or Lucy) do not revolve around me. I know that only Lights actually gives a shit about me out of the group. Why wouldn't she rather go and hang out with all of them instead of sitting at lunch for 30 mins with me.
She probably didn't even think about me.
I guess that's what is bothering me.
I've got to get over it!
I've got one more month and I'll be fine. The only way for me to comprehend that is to write it down.
And my anxiety seems to melt away.
Tomorrow will be like any other day.
1st period- fun
2nd period- fun
lunch- hell
3rd period- fine
mila's lunch- fun
fourth period- fine
and then I go home.
I don't know why that would change.
Nothing is going to happen and my heart needs to go at a normal rate again.
I don't ever want to experience an anxiety attack, so I need to resolve this issue now because it's beginning to interrupt things in my life and make me upset about normal shit.
I really want to get over my current crushes.
It's clear to me that I will never be with them.
Lights is in love with Hayley.
Austin is in love with Lucy.
Nothing will change because they've both been in love for their entire high school experience.
I can't change that. I won't change that.
I don't know why I get so anxious about school.
On Friday, they all disappeared at lunch, again, but I felt okay. I sat with a new friend. But that makes me feel like I'm disliked. I've got to realize that their lives (not including Austin or Lucy) do not revolve around me. I know that only Lights actually gives a shit about me out of the group. Why wouldn't she rather go and hang out with all of them instead of sitting at lunch for 30 mins with me.
She probably didn't even think about me.
I guess that's what is bothering me.
I've got to get over it!
I've got one more month and I'll be fine. The only way for me to comprehend that is to write it down.
And my anxiety seems to melt away.
Tomorrow will be like any other day.
1st period- fun
2nd period- fun
lunch- hell
3rd period- fine
mila's lunch- fun
fourth period- fine
and then I go home.
I don't know why that would change.
Nothing is going to happen and my heart needs to go at a normal rate again.
I don't ever want to experience an anxiety attack, so I need to resolve this issue now because it's beginning to interrupt things in my life and make me upset about normal shit.