Diary Entries

I've been dreaming about Lights almost every night and it's driving me crazy. I don't know why I keep having these dreams about her & I becoming friends again and falling in love. It's so stupid. I know that I will never ever be friends with Lights again and I also know that I don't really like her that much anymore, either. (I know that this may offend people, but my "lesbian crush" was just a really strange phase.) I don't even find her attractive anymore. I just want to stop hearing about her and I want her to unfollow me on everything and stay out of my life. Lucy has done a pretty great job of that. She hasn't been in my dreams and she's blocked me from everything, which is great, actually. It stops me from ever seeing anything that she's doing and I won't worry about her and Austin (which of whom, I still have a tiny attraction towards. My heart fluttered when he favorited my tweet the other day.). I don't want Lights to see/know what I'm doing and vice versa.
Also, I've been feeling guilty about things that have happened between me and two other people, who I haven't made characters of. I stopped talking to them out of nowhere, which is exactly what Lucy did to me, for no reason whatsoever, which is the same for Lucy. That sentence was terribly constructed. But anyways, yeah. I wish that I went about things totally different.
I'm anxious about school starting up again, but I've made a new friend, who I'll make into a character soon, who is really, really sweet. She has a bad reputation, though. But she's so sweet to me! She's making me feel a lot better about going back to school. I'll try to keep this friend this time.
I'm trying to convince myself that trying to be happy won't get me to being happy. I've just gotta go with the flow and try to learn to love myself. Not just the way I look, (I'm completely fine with the way I look.) just with how I am as a person and who I am...inside? That sounds cliche.