For the Love Of...

What? She had to be lying, why would Zane have kissed me if this was true. But then again, he has been acting strangely towards me today. Maybe this is real. Lila has this thing going on where she can mind fuck people. I know her tricks, but this is serious.

I have to confront Zane.

I take deep breath and leave the bathroom. I turn left and go back up the stairs almost tripping. I run back to our table and see my mom is absent. Zane smirks up at me looking a little nervous.

"Uhm, Zane, I need to talk to you." I say breathing heavily after my work out from running up the stairs. I pull Zane by the arm and say to his parents, "Excuse us." I continue pulling Zane until I see a space with absolutely no one around.

"Zane. Did you or didn't you impregnate Lila? And please don't fucking lie to me!" I talk as loud as I possibly can without causing attention to us. Zane takes a deep breath and cracks his knuckles, something he always used to do when he was nervous. He did it when he asked me if he could take my virginity..

"Pandora, listen, when I found out that you were pregnant, I didn't know what to do with myself. Me and Lila were talking more than usual, and at that point I didn't have sex with her. But, I had to come back about 6 months ago for my cousin's wedding. Lila was at the wedding, with who knows who, and we hooked up. Then, a few months later she called me saying she was pregnant, but I didn't believe it because she was hoeing around and sleeping with everyone. Pandora, it was an enormous mistake and I can't tell you how much of a douche I felt like for doing it. I'm so sorry." Zane finally ends his rant.

I couldn't breath, tears were forming. I was literally sick. I wanted to go home. Now. I ran to our table sobbing hysterically. I grabbed Ainsley and quickly ran back towards the stairs. I pass Zane who is talking to me and chasing after me but I don't hear him. I hear my own heavy foot steps hitting each step. I look around trying to find my mother. When I can't find her, I bust out the front door of the restaurant and head to my moms car. I put Ainsley on the damp ground and I sat next to her. She began crying, making me cry even louder.

I can't do this, I can't have Zane around me anymore, ever. I hate him, I FUCKING HATE HIM! I hate Lila, I hate myself for kissing him. I hate myself for giving him another chance.

I scream as loud as I possibly can. I cannot believe this. I figured Zane moved on, but I can't believe he came back and fucked Lila. But for what? Was he trying to get revenge on me for getting pregnant and not giving him any ass anymore? Was it because-

I felt a hand on my head. I look up and see my mother who crouches down and whispers to me, "Lets go home." She stands up and takes my hand, pulling me up so I stand with her. She takes Ainsley's carseat and walks towards the cars and I slug behind her. I soon realize I'm in front of the car and I go to the front seat and buckle myself in.

I hear my mom buckling in her granddaughter. She finishes quickly and shuts the rear door and gets in the drivers seat and sighs heavily as she pulls her seatbelt over her thin body. She starts the car and backs out with easy, then quickly exits the parking lot.

My mom touches the radio button to break the absolute silence filling the car. Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey comes on the radio, and I don't know why, but I begin to cry. And cry, and cry, and cry. I let out a small whine and my mom reaches her available hand to pat my hair gently. She then takes her hand off of me and puts it back on the steering wheel.

We finally turn left onto our street and drive for about 20 seconds and stop in front of our seemingly huge house. I look up as my mom slowly pulls into the drive way. She stops the car, and quickly gets out and goes to the back seat to get Ainsley together. I felt like such a terrible mother, I heard her screaming the entire way home, but I'm too upset about my previous scene with Zane. I can't do this to Ainsley, she deserves to be taken care of even though I feel a total weakness.

I open the door and get out and smell a sweet hint of freshly cut grass. I used to love that smell.

I slide my feet across the gravel, and walk towards the front door. My mom beats me to the front door and holds it open for me with Ainsley in hand. I go in, and hear a faint sound of the television coming from the living room. I crinkle my eyebrows and quicken my pace to the living room.

When I make it to the living room, I see my father sitting on the couch. I hate this. He shows up at random times claiming that this house is still his. I hate him.

I go up to the TV and turn it off. I stand in front of it and my father gets up and walks toward me. "Move." My dad warns in a raspy, uneven tone. He's drunk..already. I take a deep breath and walk closer to him.
"Get the fuck out." I say loud enough for him to hear. He gets close to me and I smell the alcohol on his breath. "Dad..FUCKING LEAVE!" I scream at him. I realize my voice cracked and went up a few octaves. He needs to leave.

"You fucking screwed my mother over! You're a low down dirty piece of shit who you should go back to your whore, and you should both go fuck yourselves. Get the fuck out of my house, get away from my daughter and stay the FUCK away from my mother. I wouldn't mind if I never saw you again. Leave. Now! FOREVER!" I push him back, and he walks out of the living room, and goes out through the back door. He slams the door with such an incredible rage, it makes the entire house feel as though its shaking.

I drop to my knees and scream. I know what I said was harsh, but he deserves it. Fuck him. Fuc-

"Panda," My mom interrupts my thoughts. She has tears in her eyes. Why'd I do this? I think I just made everything worse...Shit.