For the Love Of...

I open my eyes, and look over at my alarm clock. It's 7:47 am. I've slept for what seemed like a long time because when I sat up, I felt great. I felt like nothing that Zane had done to me had happened. I felt like willing and able to seize the day. To my confusion, I even laughed a little. It was like my body was excited and energized, while my brain was weak and wounded. I sigh and walk out of my room and into Ainsley's. I turn on the light and stroll over to her crib. I smile down at her and lift her to my chest. I then hear footsteps coming from out of the bathroom. I twist my head and see my mom come out.

"Oh! Good morning, Sweetie! I feed the baby at 7:00, exactly." My mothers facial expression is extremely happy. She's also wrapped in a light yellow towel and has her damp hair tied into a bun on top of her head.

"Thanks, Mom." I smile and my mother nods awkwardly and runs downstairs. I bring Ainsley into my room and lay her on my bed, then reach for my phone. I grab my phone from the floor and see Ainsley wiggle around and turn red. She begins to cry making me frown.

"Aww, baby." I say picking her up again and laying her on my legs. She still cries as I pick up my phone, surprised that it's not cracked or even scratched. I see that Zane has called me 2 times and hasn't texted me at all. I think I should give him the benefit of the doubt but..I'm just not sure. I take a deep breath and look back at Ainsley. I remember when I was pregnant, I was always praying that Zane would just show up at my door and tell me he wanted to be a good father and be there for me and Ainsley.

I've gotta put the anger Zane's caused me behind and live for the present and think for the future. I don't want Ainsley to grow up without a dad completely in her life. I breathe heavily and dial his number into my phone. I hear the phone ring 3 times followed by an uneasy voice answer.

"Hey. What's going on?" Zane says seemingly out of breath. I look at Ainsley and quickly remember she has an appointment today.

"Hey, Zane. Uhm, Ainsley has a doctors appointment today, but if you want, you can meet us up somewhere so you can see her." I say awkwardly still looking at Ainsley. I hear him breathe hard again.

"Yeah, sure. Do you think I could go with you to the doctors? I can ask my parents for the car and I'll drive you." He says as his breathing gets calmer. I smile to the phone and gently tickle Ainsley's soft brown hair.

"Okay. We'll be ready at 10:30." I look at the clock which now reads 8:01.

"Alright. I'll see you then, Love." His sexy voice rings through my ear making me blush a bit. I then hag up before I sat anything stupid. I throw the phone behind my back allowing it to land on the edge of my bed. I pick up Ainsley who is crying very softly.

"Shh, you're okay. Mommy's got you. Lets go take a bath. We need to be all fresh and clean for the doctors." I say in a nurturing voice trying to calm Ainsley down. I cradle her in my arms and walk directly across from her room into the bathroom. Once I enter the bathroom, I bend down and easily take off Ainsley's yellow pajamas my mother must have put on her and begin to run cool water until it warms up to the perfect temperature.

I then take off Ainsley's soggy diaper, throw it on top of her dirty clothes and put her into the tub making her cringe and get even more upset. Ugh. I quickly grab the baby soap and squeeze it onto the wash cloth I had grabbed along with the soap. I rub the soap in and gently wash Ainsley with it.

After her bath, I wrap Ainsley in her pink pig towel and bring her into her room and lay her on the changing table. Then I grab the lotion next to the diapers. I rub the lotion into Ainsley's soft skin and then put a diaper on her as she still continues to cry.

"Ugh. Ainsley. Shush." I say under my breath. I pick her up and lay her over my shoulder as I walk over to her dresser and grab a stripped footie and a matching hat. I bring Ainsley back to the changing table and lay the footie down first then lay her on top of it and put her small feet and arms in the footie followed by the matching hat.

"Okay. I'm done. Wanna go see Grandma?!" I pick Ainsley up and bring her out of her room and down stairs. I then go towards my mothers room but her door is closed. It's never closed unless..

I go to her door and open it without knocking. My moms eyes are big and she looks to the right where my dad is standing naked. He covers his junk and goes into the bathroom attached to the bedroom. WTF?! I thought my parents were done.

"PANDA! Uh..Turns out me and your dad aren't getting a divorce after all." My mother says he voice is cracking. Stunned, I run out of the room with Ainsley. I go upstairs and grab my phone to call him. He answers with the sound of water running in the background.

"Can you come get me..Like now?!" I say unevenly to Zane.

"Sure. Give me 10 minutes." He says a bit confused. He hangs up and I run into Ainsley's room and put her in the crib as I hurry to get in the shower.

I thought my parents HATED each other! And now they're fucking! I quickly run the water over my body and hop out of the shower. I want to get away from my parents. My mother is the only person I can trust and she's lying to me just like everyone else. What the hell is going on?!

I get out of the shower, run into my room, put on pink undies and a black bra. I then grab a black shirt and blue jeans. I run to Ainsley's room and grab her diaper bag and her extra car seat. I pull Ainsley from out of her crib and lay her in the car seat. I lay throw the bag next to her and put on my flip flops I left under the rocking chair. I then bend down to buckle her safely in the seat and pick up both the bag and Ainsley.. I hear a knock on the door. My mom looks up at me when I walk out of Ainsley's room to the top of the steps.

"Where are you going?" She says calmly but her face is upset. I walk down the stairs until I get face to face with her. I breathe and open the door to see Zane looking amazingly gorgeous as usual. His eyes immediately go to Ainsley. He reaches for the carseat and I lift it high enough for Zane to grab it.

"Hey Mrs.Parker." Zane says touching my mothers arm. She looks back at him with a small smile.

"Zane is gonna bring us to the doctor. You seem busy today so.." I sarcastically smile at her and swoop past her to get to the door. I slightly push Zane out of the door so that he goes outside completely.

"Panda-" My mom starts a little angry.

"Bye mom!" I wave and run to Zane's car.