For the Love Of...

I'm awaken by the smell of burning food. I run to Ainsley's room and pick her up and run downstairs. I look around to see if there is a fire in the kitchen but there isn't all I see is my mom at the stove cooking and crying. I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Mom? What are you doing?" I ask rolling my eyes and noticing Aisnley is awake and looking at me in what I think is confusion.
"Oh..Pandora..I'm just, cooking. Something I didn't do for your father which is probably why he cheated." She says sniffing gazing at her burning food.

"Mom! He cheated on you because he's a complete jerk. I know he's my father but he's a fucking asshole and you shouldn't blame yourself for his wrongdoing! It was choice to do something that'd ruin our family!" I practically scream.
"Pandora, watch your mouth." My mom says quite calmly.

I shake my head and check the time in the kitchen and see the clock and it reads 7:09 pm. This means I've been asleep for nearly five hours uninterrupted which had been a record since the birth of Ainsley. I bring Ainsley into the living room with me and place her in her bassinet. I then sit on the couch and turn on the t.v and flip through channels until my phone rings startling me.

"Hello?" I answer tiredly.
"Hey..Pandora. It's Zane. This is my new number." Zane's voice rings through my ear.
"Oh. Okay."
"So..What's going on?"
"Not much.." I say awkwardly not really knowing where this conversation was going.
"How's..Ainsley?"
"Fine."
"Uhm..So what's her last name?" Zane asks quietly.

"Parker. You weren't at the hospital so how would you figure it was something else?"

"I didn't mean 'what' was her last name. I meant..Is there anyway you'd change it to mine?"

"I don't know Zane. Maybe if you prove that you're in this one hundred percent of the time, I may consider it." I sigh rubbing my eye.

"I understand and I really do want to be apart of Ainsley's life." He sounds sincere and although I still pretty much hate his guts, I totally believe him.

"How often do you think you're going to come see her?" I ask glancing over at Ainsely who is sound asleep.

"Well since I'll be out of school next week for summer break, as much as you'll let me." His voice sounds excited.

"Yeah..Well we'll see. But I'm gonna talk to you later." I say noticing my stomach growling.

"Wait! Pandora!! Before you go..I just wanna tell you, I really am sorry about me leaving..Honestly it was my mom at first who freaked out and then I stopped calling because..Well I freaked out too and I'm so so so sorry for that." He says in a rush.

"Yeah. I know you mean it." I say nodding my head.

"And Pandora..?"

"Yeah?"

"I've never stopped loving you." I hear him moving when he says this.

I had nothing to say back so I just hung up the phone stunned. He never stopped loving me? I find that incredibly hard to believe but I now understand why he hadn't called me. Knowing his mother, she probably told him I was gonna die during my labor.

I roll my eyes and get up to go to the kitchen where I see my mother eating her overly burnt chicken. Gross. I walk to the fridge and find a cup of pineapples and grab it and a spoon. I sit at the table with my mom who eats her food quickly and cries while doing it. I know I should just leave her alone and give her some space, so when I finished with my fruit I leave into the living room to check on my daughter.

Its weird for me to say that. I never thought I be a mom especially so young but I feel like Ainsley is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I've never loved someone so much..Well besides Zane. He was my first love. I just wish I didn't give it up to him so soon so things were different. I sometimes still wish we were together because I honestly miss what we had. I miss his touch. I miss his kisses. I miss everything about him and seeing him today absolutely killed me! I wanted to hug him so bad. I wanted everything to go back to exactly how it was. And when he told me he never stopped loving me..I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and how much I've missed him, but I need to be strong and not such a pushover. And even though I told him I wasn't sure I'd let Ainsley have his last name, I know I am going to because for the past few months I've been wishing he would bust in the hospital room and be with me just in time to see the birth of Ainsley..

But that never happened. But I still want her to have her fathers last name for a reason I can't even explain. All I know is that I want Zane to be in both my and Ainsley's life.