Status: Completed

For the Love Of...

Five

Yesterday was such a long, crazy day filled with so many emotions. I want..I need to see Zane. He's totally fucked me up. I just have this strange yearning for his presence. I hate him for making me feel this way after he left me for so long.

I think about all this while giving Ainsley a bath. She cries as the water hits her small body.

"Shh..Shh. Its almost over Ainsley." I reassure her and finish up her short bath. I pick up Ainsley and hurry to wrap her in a baby towel with a frog as the hood. I laugh a little seeing her eyes match the color of the towel.

"You're so pretty, baby." I smile walking into her room and placing her on the changing table. I could smell the baby shampoo on Ainsley. I inhaled it deeply to remember this amazing smell. I put lotion on Ainsley and find a cute black and pink for her. Then I dress her and give her a mustache pacifier my mother bought Ainsley a while ago. After getting her completely dressed, I bring her downstairs to my mother who is on the computer looking at something intensely but I shrug it off hoping it's nothing bad.

"Mom, can you watch Ainsley for a sec? I need a shower." I shove Ainsley into my mothers arms before she can answer my question. I quickly run upstairs into the bathroom and take out the baby bath which was still in the tub after Ainsley's wash up. I let the water begin to run and strip when the water is hot. It feels relaxing and good right now I think to myself as I allow the water to soak my hair. I begin to think about calling Zane and tell him all is forgiven and I'm willing to move on...But I know I can't do that right now. I've been such a hard ass and everything I said to him, I meant. He does have to prove that he can be a good father to Ainsley. He needs to prove that he is worthy enough to have a daughter named after him.

I felt as though I'd been in the shower for a long time, so I stop the water and get out wrapping myself with a towel and changing into a short sleeve gray shirt and dark skinny jeans. Just when I'm about to dry my hair, my phone rings. Assuming its my father apologizing about yesterday (something he does a lot nowadays) I answer my phone saying "I'm really not in the mood and I don't accept your apology because you're a total ass wipe and I hope you have fun with your twenty one year old girlfriend. The only woman that will ever love you and never hurt you the way you did to her, is my mother. You're a fuck up and I don't want you around my child." I say as fast and calmly as possible.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about." I hear Zanes voice on the other side of the receiver in total confusion. I feel like a major idiot when I realize it's him.

"Ugh. Sorry. That was meant for someone else.." I say fast as I walk into the bathroom and reach down in the cabinet for my hair dryer.

"Well, uh, I was wonder if you had any plans tonight?"

"Not at the moment." I say trying to freak out. I was willing and ready to talk with Zane again.

"I wanted to ask if I could see Ainsley again."

"Oh. Sure." Well, there's my hope, gone! Ugh I just wanted him to..I don't know...continue talking about how he still loves me.

"Wanna go with me to the mall? I can pick you up, in...Twenty?"

"Yeah. I'll see you then." I look over at my purple alarm clock that reads 12:34 pm.

"See you then." He says and hangs up.

I bring my phone off of my ear and place it on the coco brown bathroom counter and plug in my hair dryer and go to work. I know I'm being unrealistic and annoying by repeating how much I want Zane and I to talk everything out with him..But it's true.

Finally drying my hair completely, I grab my straightener and begin to straighten my long brown hair. My flat iron begins to smoke as it glides down my hair making my hair look perfect for once since before I got pregnant. I then put on my red Chanel lipstick and my Mac eye shadow. I then go into my room and add my Chanel earrings and necklace. I didn't really take good care of myself like I am now. When I got pregnant, I just stopped caring. No one really uplifted me or invited me out so there really was no reason to get dressed up and look pretty.

I sigh as I start to rush in order to finish my hair because the time now read 12:40. "Shoot!" I finally finish and throw on my back Chanel hat and Ainsley's diaper bag. I run into Ainsley's room and grab a hand full of diapers and shove them in the bag. I then run down stairs and get two already made bottles for Ainsley. I'm not sure why, but a sudden tiredness came over me. I yawn loudly thinking it must be from yesterday and I know I shouldn't be going anywhere with a 6 day old baby, but, I feel fine enough to do so. I continue to walk into the living room where I see my mom holding Ainsley.

"Mom. Zane's coming to get me and Ainsley." I say putting the warm formula filled bottles in the bag.

"K.." She replies not really listening to me.

I swing the bag over my shoulder an take Ainsley out of her arms and she just stares at the wall lifelessly. I feel bad for her, honestly I do, but I've got my own issues to worry about right now..

"I'll be back soon." I whisper in my moms ear and kiss her cheek.

I go back upstairs into my bedroom and lay Ainsley in my bed so I can grab my army boots and slip them on. Finally finished dressing myself I look at Ainsley who is wiggling around. I decide to get one of the bottles and feed her before we leave.

"Are you hungry, Ainsley?" I bend to grab her bottle and quickly allow her to drink it.

I hear the doorbell ring. Zane. Shortly after, I hear the door open and my mom talking but to me, sounds like soft mumbling. Then I hear footsteps coming up my carpeted stairs.

"Hey." I look up and see Zane who is dressed in a floral print shirt, non prescription glasses, and a black and gold ring accompanied by a white g-shock, all of which I find EXTREMELY sexy.

"Hi," I say motioning my head back allowing him to come into my room which he does. "Lemme just finish feeding her." I say watching Ainsley finish up her bottle.

"Yeah, that's fine." Zane nods his head leaning against my wall.

Ainsley finishes her bottle quickly, too quickly. As I lift her up to burp her, she throws up on my shoulder.

"Ugh. Zane..Can you burp her while I clean my shirt?" I ask pushing Ainsley into Zane's arms.

He holds her and I walk to the bathroom wiping my shoulder clean with a damp, cold wash cloth. As I do that, I walk into my room but stop myself when I see Zane handling Ainsley he says, "Ainsley..I'm your Dad. I know I wasn't there when you were born, but I promise I'm going to make up for that."

I smile when I see Zane kiss Ainsley on her forehead. I act like I just entered the room and Zane smiles up at me. "She's absolutely beautiful," Zane says lifting himself and Ainsley up. He walks towards me and says, "Just like her mother."
♠ ♠ ♠
I put the links in the story but I'm not sure its very easy to see. So I'll just put them here. I've had the WORST writers block today..And I'm not very proud of this chapter, so I'd really appreciate some feed back :}

Ainsley's outfit : Ainsley

Pandora's outfit: Pandora's Outfit

Zane's outfit: Zane