I'll Be Your Safety

When I woke up that morning, I went straight up to Harry’s room. I draped the long brown blanket over my shoulders, and, while Niall was still asleep, stole upstairs. The tail of the blanket dragged behind me, catching on corners as I walked determinedly towards my room. I paused in front of the bedroom door, nerves suddenly causing my hands to break out into a cold sweat. I reassured myself that I was nervous, and so, with a sudden burst of confidence, I knocked on the door.

Moments later he replied “Liv?” his voice sounded even deeper than usual, if that was even possible, so I guessed I had woke him up.

“Yeah?” I wedged the door open slightly. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah, sure.” He replied groggily. When I walked in he was still sitting in bed, the covers draped over his bottom half, keeping his naked torso exposed. He halfheartedly attempted to prop himself up, but he put virtually no effort into it, causing his attempt to look more like a fatigued struggle. I walked up and took a seat near him on the edge of the bed, pulling the warm blanket closer around my body.

“Can we talk?” I asked, nerves tickling my insides.

“Liv- I’m sorry about the other night. I was just stressed out from work- I, I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” He mumbled, twisting his hands awkwardly. He seemed to know exactly where this conversation was heading, since he decided to dive right in.

“I know, Hazz. It’s just-“ I swallowed, struggling to piece together the right words. “What can we do to stop all this- nonsense fighting?”

“Liv-“

“I mean, Harry, you understand how I’m not confortable with- you know, sex. But that doesn’t mean that you can go out and use other people for what I can’t give you.” I said unsurely.

“But Liv-“

“Wait, no. Just- just let me get this out, ok? I just really wanna stop fighting about sex. I tried it for you, Harry. I gave you one night, and I can’t do it again. Its too hard.” I felt tears spring to my eyes, and I shifted uncomfortably, hating the feeling I got before I cried. “So, please, tell me you understand Hazz.”

“Liv, I’m sorry.” His voice trembled. Silently he wrapped his arm around me, and I took his hand in mine. I smiled slightly as he kissed my cheek, and then nuzzled his head into my side. Playfully I ruffled his hair “I’m glad we had this talk.” I smiled, giving his a kiss.

“Can we go down and get some breakfast? I’m starving.” He mumbled into my hair.

“Sure, let’s go.” We stood up in unison. “Let me just change.” I dropped the blanket to the ground, and walked over to my dresser.

“Keep that on. It’s sexy.” He purred, wrapping his muscular arms around my waist.

“No, I’m changing. Maura and Niall will also be joining us; I can’t just strut around the house in this skimpy thing.” I rifled through the dresser, pulling out a pair of shorts and a shirt. Wordlessly I slipped out of the nightdress, and stuffed my legs into the shorts. Once I was all changed I turned around, clasped my hand through Harry’s, and walked into the hall.

“One sec, I’m just going to check if Ethan’s awake.” I let go of Harry’s hand, quickly shuffling into the room. To my surprise, Niall was already in there, changing Ethan on the changer.

“Oh, thanks Niall.” I spoke, then went to leave.

“Did you and Harry make up?” He questioned, not turning to face me.

“Yeah, we did.” I replied slowly. “Anyways, I’ll see ya downstairs.” I backed out or the room, then strode back over to Harry.
“He’s not up?”

“No, Niall’s got it.” I smiled. He laced his hand through mine again, and my smile widened. It was nice to see Harry in a good mood for a change.

“So, what’ll it be- toast or cereal?” I asked once we were downstairs.

“Hmmm, cereal.” He grinned, hopping up onto one of the barstools.

“Well then, you might want to get Niall to make that for you, after all, he claims he’s perfected the art of cereal.” I giggled, glancing over at Niall, who was setting Ethan on the floor.

“Pardon?” He replied, walking over.

“Here, make Harry the perfect bowl of cereal.” I wiggled my eyebrows, sliding milk and cheerios across the counter to Niall.

“Of course. You see, Harry. This recipe took me years to perfect.” Niall started, pulling out measuring cups from a cupboard.

“Oh, brother.” Harry muttered.

“The absolute perfect cereal-to-milk ratio was very hard to come up with. But, after much perseverance, I managed to create this.” Niall said, placing the bowl in front of harry with a flourish.

“It’s just regular cereal.” Harry stated, looking slightly dumbfounded.

“Yes, yes it may look like a regular bowl of cereal, but you see- it is much more.” Niall explained over dramatically, causing me to laugh.

“Hey! Are you making fun of my passion?” He gasped, looking taken aback.

I scoffed “Me? Noo.”

“I think I hear a hater.” Niall crossed his arms, shaking his head unhappily.

“What? Your calling me a hater just because I don’t believe that there’s such a thing as a perfect cereal ratio?”

“Well, mate I hate to break it to ya, but-“ Harry held up his bowl, which contained no cheerios, but some milk still in the bottom of the bowl.

“Ooh, Niall. You just got burned.” I taunted, taking a seat beside Harry, who reached under the counter and squeezed my hand. I squeezed back, a small smile forming on my face.

“Mama?” Ethan called. I looked down to see Ethan holding onto the legs of my chair.

“Come here baby.” I reached down and picked the toddler up, placing him on my lap.

“Ooh! Guess what?” Niall exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down.

“What?” I laughed.

“From today, my birthday’s in four months!” He cheered, jumping around.

“Hey mate, is this your thirty first that’s coming up?” Harry smirked.

“Shut up.” Niall frowned. He then cheered, clapping his hands over-exaggeratedly for the young boy, who started to giggle. “I can’t believe your almost two buddy.”

“Are you going to be here for his birthday?” I interrupted, a small frown tugging the corners of my lips down.

“Um- no. I wont.” He replied awkwardly.

“Wait? Where’ll you be?” Harry questioned.

“Mate, I’ve gotta move back to London.”

“You do?” Harry suddenly looked solemn. “Jeez, for the first time everyone’s living in a different place. When are you leaving?”

“Soon. About a week and a bit.”

“Good morning!” Maura chimed, striding into the kitchen. She walked up behind Niall, and ruffled up his hair even more, it that was even possible. “What’s everyone eating for breakfast?”

“Well the boys are settling on cereal, as usual. But we have eggs and bread if you want to make something for yourself.” I got up off the chair and absentmindedly handed Ethan off to Harry.

Maura smiled at me, then pulled the bread out from the breadbox. “So, anyone want some toast?” She asked.

“Na, were fine. We all just feasted upon my specialty.” Niall boasted proudly.

“Cereal? Boy, you better learn to cook something else, or everyone’s going to get bored real quickly.”

“Hey! No ones complained yet!”

“Niall, we just did.” I added in.

“Hey, shhh, she doesn’t need to know.” He shot in my direction, placing his hand in front of his mouth on Maura’s direction to worsen her hearing.

“Honestly, Niall. When you come to London I’ll teach you a few recipes, so your not living off take-out and cereal.”

“Oh, mum. I dunno, I don’t wanna burn down your house.” Niall said skeptically, smirking slightly.

“No. It’s happening.” She said firmly. Niall groaned.

Harry and I were stationed on the couch, watching an old re-run of top chef (Canada, to my preference) and commenting on everything they were doing wrong. My grandmother, who had practically raised me, was a chef at some of the largest restaurants in Toronto. She loved to cook, and made it a point to teach me all her favorite recipes before she died. I, in turn, learned everything she knew about cooking and food, while Harry knew next to nothing.

“He’s holding the knife the wrong way. He’s going to cut himself.” I pointed out at one particularly intense moment. Naturally, thirty seconds later the knife slipped, and he ended up cutting a large gash in the side of his hand.

“We should do something other than this today.” I said over muffled noises of ‘my hand! My hand!’ and some other high-pitched, over staged screaming.

“Let’s go out for lunch. Just the two of us.” He proposed, wrapping his hand in mine.

“Ah, our first official date of our second term of dating.” I smiled, standing up and pulling him to my level. “Lets do it.”

He tugged on my arm, leading me towards the front hall. I snatched my phone off the counter, then followed him through the garage doors. I waited by the door as he selected a pair of car keys off a rack on the wall, then pressed the button, eliciting a quick three notes from a dove grey Porsche.

“Ah, that’s the key.” He glanced down at what he was holding. “Been lookin’ for it for a while.” I followed him over to the car, and laughed as he held the door open for me, motioning towards the car. I got in, and he jogged around to the driver’s side, and slipped into the low car. He plugged the keys in, then revved the engine, a smile immediately blooming on his face.

“Where are we going?” I asked as he expertly pulled out of the garage and out onto the street. He sped down the street, enjoying the low hum of the engine.

“There’s a place downtown. You’ll like it. I went there for lunch with Geoff once.” He replied, his eyes glued to the road. I leaned to my right, and watched as the houses passed by quickly. Wordlessly I opened the skylight, welcoming the warm breeze that whipped my hair around, sending it in all directions. I watched Harry as he drove, focused on the car and the road. He seemed to be in a different, calmer headspace when he was driving; it seemed to calm him.

“There’ll be no paps, right?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.”

There were quite a few paparazzo around us the moment we started walking to the restaurant. I ducked my head, using my mussed hair as a veil to cover my face. Luckily, the walk to the restaurant was short, and we ducked into the building without any of them following us.
“Shit, sorry Liv. I didn’t know they would be out.” He ruffled his curls, which were much longer than usual.

“Hello, how many people will be joining you?” The waitress asked as we neared the front desk.

“Just two.” Harry nodded curtly.

“Alrighty then. Just follow me this way.” She motioned for us to follow her, and we wove around tables to a small, two-person table near the center of the room.

I sat across from Harry, and picked up the menu, scanning through it slowly. I lifted my gaze up across the top of the card, and smiled at his focused expression.

“What?” He asked at my small laugh.

“Nothing. You look cute when you think.” I replied, shooting him a flirty grin before consulting the menu once again.

“Hello, my name is Jeffery, I’ll be your server this afternoon.” I didn’t really like Jeffrey; he seemed very bored. “Can I start you with some drinks?”

Harry ordered some odd-sounding drink I had never heard of, after the waiter went on and on about how it was the bartender’s specialty and that we must try it.

“Ooh, good choice, Mr. Styles.” I giggled as the waiter nodded and walked away. It was nice being away from Ethan and Niall for a while. As much as I missed Ethan when I was away from him; I also missed having freedom, and being able to go places whenever I wanted.

“You alright?”

“Yeah. It’s nice to get away from everything once in a while. Being a mom’s like a full-time job. And I just needed a small break.” I smiled, and looked around the crowded restaurant “This is nice.”

“Good. I’m glad your happy.” He reached across the table and took my hand in his, rubbing the spot between my thumb and forefinger. We were seated near a window, which gave us enough to look at between silences without making them awkward. It was nice, to just have some time where you don’t have to spend the entire time talking and entertaining your date.

Once we had eaten and paid, we went for a small walk. We stopped in a small candy shop, and I had picked out a few sweets for the household. Once we had consumed what was more than the daily recommended sugar intake for any living human being, we went out in search of a spot to sit. We found a small wooden park bench right near the water, in a small parkette not far from the restaurant. I sighed contentedly as we sat on a bench overlooking the pier, my head resting on Harry’s shoulder. The air smelled salty, like the sea. It was nice.

Harry bent over and kissed me on the head, and I thought I could stay like this forever.