I'll Be Your Safety

Okay guys, this chapter has sexual assault and abuse, and can get a little intense for some readers. Warning, do not read unless your up to it, since it gets pretty descriptive.

Week later

“Bye Sharon!” I called, waving to the older woman.

“Bye love, see ya tomorrow night.” Sharon waved, her eyes crinkling happily. I smiled back at her, then pushed the back door open into the cold night.

“Brr its cold.” I tugged my jacket tighter around myself and breathed on my hands. It only took me two years to get used to hot, lazy LA days, and completely forget what it’s like in the -30 north. Even though it was just less than ten degrees, I was still shivering slightly as I walked down the dark streets. The restaurant was only a five-minute walk away from my apartment, and on most empty nights I walked home. I pulled my suddenly buzzing phone out of my pocket and answered the call, not checking who it was.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Liv. Could I pop by and pick Ethan up soon?”

“Oh, yeah sure. Come by in fifteen.”

“Okay, see ya then.”

I bid goodbye and hung up, suddenly fixated on my phone as I walked down the dark street, not really paying attention to my empty surroundings. Just as I passed the ice cream parlor I shivered again, this time not from the cold. The group of men from the other day was standing about five meters away. Two of them were too enthralled in their conversation to notice me, but one of them met with my eyes. I froze, like a deer in the headlights. My instincts told me to run, but I was glued to the spot.

“Hey, hey, hey. Whatta we got here boys? The pretty little girl from the other day, eh?” One burly guy sneered. His handlebar mustache looked a little lopsided, and made his mouth seem crooked. I took a step back, my eyes glued to the ground.

“Don’t worry snookums, don’t run.” Another, scrawny one hissed. The burly one lunged at me, and I yelped and tried to dart away. He caught his firm hold on my arm, and I dropped my purse on the floor. Furiously I tried to remember back to grade nine self-defense, but nothing came to mind.

“Why do ya look so scared?” The last one asked tauntingly. I unsuccessfully searched the dim street for a sign of another passer-by, and then brought my gaze back to my feet. My heart felt like it stopped as I watched him slowly pull a pocketknife out of his pocket. “Scream and I’ll cut you.” He hissed into my ear.

“She’s a real pretty one, Tom. Got nice tits, too.” Scrawny laughed, reaching out and pressing his clammy hands all over my breasts. I could my heart beat furiously as he began to slowly, tauntingly, peel off the top of my dress. I tried to move but it was no use, the massive one’s hands held firmly onto my shoulders, his rough hands digging into my soft skin.

“Please don’t.” I said shakily. I was willing myself not to cry, since I knew if I did, they would all just laugh.

“Don’t what? Do this?” scrawny managed to peeled my dress off entirely, leaving me in only my underwear. He pressed against me, fondling my chest as he sucked and licked my neck and jaw, slowly working upwards. With each attempt to kiss my mouth I jerked my head, earning another firm grip around my neck.

I jerked away, throwing a punch at his jaw and wiggling around to get the firm grips off me. I almost started bawling right then and there as I felt something sharp dig into my hip, and a burning sensation follow.

“Stay still, bitch.” He hissed, grabbing my jaw forcefully. I whimpered as he brought a hand down and trailed it up my thigh, the other’s hands still holding me against the scratchy brick wall. “Firm bum.” He snickered, satisfaction flashing through his eyes. I tried to control my breathing as he ran the small knife down my side, tracing my curves menacingly. After one last look he began kissing me furiously, his hands frantically and quickly roaming everywhere as I struggled to cry out. He slipped his hands under my bra as his slimy tongue fought for entrance.

I don’t even remember how I ended up in that alleyway, the rest all passed by in a hazy blur. I can barely remember being shoved to the cold concrete, and two of the men having their way with me. By the time the second one was finishing up my back felt raw from thrashing around on the rough sidewalk. Handlebar laughed down at me as he stood, pulling up his fly. Then scrawny came down onto me, pulling at my hair and sucking my neck. Again, I weakly tried to hit his face with my fists or kick his groin; but this time it was no use, I was exhausted.

A flicker of hope passed through me as I heard a car door slam shut, and some familiar men’s voices carry out through the empty streets.

“Hey! What in the bloody hell?” A deep voice called.

“Fuck off mates.” Another familiar one yelled roughly. I tried to glance over scrawny’s shoulder to catch a glimpse of my saviors. One peek at a messy head of curls gave me all the reassurance I needed. My breath hitched as the burly guy, Tom tightened his grip, and the third guy went darting out at the duo. I tried to watch over his shoulder as Harry socked the guy in the face, and he dropped to the floor.

“Liv?” I heard my favorite Irish voice cry out. I tried to reply, and shake scrawny away, but it was no use, he was still at it. Suddenly scrawny was yanked away from me, and I barely noticed what was going on before burly darted away. It took me a few seconds before I managed to crawl away to watch the trio quickly dart around the corner and flee. I brought my legs towards my chest and held onto them tightly, and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to make myself as small as possible.

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit.” Niall dropped down beside me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I tried clasping my hands together to stop them from shaking but it was no use, I was shaking all over. I could feel my heart beat a million miles per hour as tears quickly spilled out of my eyes, and ran down my face.

“Oh god.” I choked, wrapping my arms around myself.

“Your going to be okay, you’ll be okay.” Niall repeated, rocking me back and forth slightly in his arms. I reached up and took his hand in mine, clasping onto it feebly. With a glance upwards I noticed Harry pacing circles, repeatedly running a hand through his now-messy curls.

“My dress, can I have my dress?” I choked. Harry nodded, and ran over to where my once-white dress was sitting. I stood up shakily, and accepted the button-up. I proceeded to slip my legs into the bodice, and then arms into the sleeves. I tried a few times to do up the buttons in the front, but it was no use, my hands couldn’t stop trembling. “Can you-“ I asked Niall, who was watching me precariously. He moved over slowly, and did up my top as I stood still. I felt like a young girl again, weak and vulnerable, as if I could break at any moment.

“Let’s get you inside.” Niall tried to smile. “Here, let me.” He gestured for me to come towards him, and my breath hitched as he picked me up bridal style.

“Where are your keys?” Harry asked.

“In my purse. I dropped it over there.” I motioned over to my bag, which was sitting dejectedly on the ground. He jogged over and picked it up, then rustled through it as he walked over. “Here.” He pulled the keys out, and unlocked the front apartment door. I slung my arms around Niall’s neck as he carried me up the stairs and to my apartment door, which again, Harry unlocked with the keys. He opened the door, and revealed Anna leaning against the counter, tapping away on her phone. He set me down before as she turned her head, surprise flashing across her face.

“What happene-“

“Hey, Anna. How much do I owe you?” Niall asked, reaching for his wallet.

“Oh, um, don’t worry about it. You can get me another time.” She slipped on a pair of pink flip-flops that were sitting by the door and took a keychain off the counter. “I’ll uh, I’ll go now.” The teenage girl slipped past Harry and wandered down the hall towards another apartment.

I stayed put where I was, my arms around my sides and my eyes cast towards the ground. I could barely even meet the eyes of the two men who just witnessed the most embarrassing, degrading moments of my entire life. “Ethan is sleeping in his room.” My voice barely came out above a whisper as I willed myself not to cry again. Niall nodded, and turned the corner to his room. A few moments later Niall reappeared, a sleepy baby cradled in his arms.

“I’ve got the car seat in the car. Come on.” Niall flicked his head towards the door, shooting me a tiny smile.

“I’m coming with you?” I faltered, still in my original spot.

“Well it’d be just plain crazy if you thought I would leave you alone in this house tonight.”

I complied, slowly following the trio out to the black BMW. I got into the back seat, and watched Niall strap a sleeping Ethan into the seat.

We were at the house within a few minutes. I moved extremely slowly, padding behind the men as they entered the house by the side door. While Niall had his arms full with Ethan, Harry stood beside me protectively. Quiet as a mouse I managed to follow Niall upstairs, with Harry in tow.

“I’ll be a moment.” Niall murmured, dashing into what was once my room, to presumably put Ethan in his crib. Moments later he reappeared, sending a quick nod to Harry, who bid goodbye before retreating to his room.

“You can stay in my room.” He mumbled, gently guiding me down the hall and into his bright bedroom. I glanced down at my dress, which was now stained red on my hipbone. I fixated on the point, trying to erase everything from my mind and forget about it, but it was no use, I was sobbing in no time.

“Ni.” I choked, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou.” I repeated into his chest. We stayed like that for a while until Niall insisted I change and head to bed.

“Here, you can pick out something to sleep in.” He opened up a drawer full of sleep clothes, and I slowly picked through, settling on a long pair of sweatpants and a turtleneck. I figured these were the only clothes that would conceal everything. I didn’t want a single person, not even Niall, to see any marks on my skin.

“I’m just gonna change.” I stuttered, shuffling over to the washroom and closing it behind me. I then turned around and looked at myself in the mirror, and almost broke down right then and there.

I looked like a mess. My hair was intensely tangled on one side, and the other was slightly damp and hung limply around my face. There was a dark purple hickey below the side of my jaw, right in the middle of my neck, that even my hair couldn’t conceal. I slipped the shoulders of my dress down my arms, and inspected the large, dark bruises that formed just above my collarbone. They were excruciatingly painful to touch, and I couldn’t move my neck without wincing in pain. The worst part, I discovered when I finally built up the courage to take off my dress. On my right hipbone was a large, deep gash. It ran vertically across the bone and was crusted over with dried blood. I winced, taking my battered self in through the mirror.

Suddenly, I started sobbing. Deep, wrenching sobs that I have been keeping in for the past years. It was a moment when every single failure, or mishap that you swallowed down; every moment where you willed yourself not to cry, not to think sad thoughts; they all came crashing back.

I sank to the floor, not even bothering to stop myself; I just brought my knees up to my chest and cried.

“Liv? Can I come in?” Niall knocked on the door gently. Seconds later it was inched open slightly, and I glanced up to watch his head peek in. Wordlessly, he walked over and sat down beside me, wrapping his strong arms around my half-naked torso. It seemed like ages before my eyes ran dry, and I regained the strength to stand up again. My legs felt awfully weak and shaky, as if I would keel over at any moment. I bent over and slipped on the pants, but decided against the tight turtleneck, since Niall had already seen everything. While only in my bra and pants I walked up to Niall’s cupboard, selecting a loose, baggy shirt and slipping it on. I then padded over to the bed, pulling the messy duvet over myself.

“Can you stay?” I asked shyly. Niall had his hand on the doorknob and was just about to leave.

“Of course.” He smiled slightly. He then settled down on the opposite end of the bed, quite far away from me. I glanced over at Niall, who smiled. I sighed deeply before succumbing to exhaustion, and letting sleep overtake me.