Submerged in Water

At school later on that day, while I was talking to Layla before class. Scott walked up to me. He had a different look on his face. It was like he was looking at an old friend. At first, I was startled since the only time he has ever paid attention to me was when I caught him and Aubrey naked and the time Aubrey, him and I all went out to the river to swim. He usually never noticed me when Aubrey wasn't around.

"Hey, Emele." A killer smile came on his face.

Normally, I would be breathless, but I realized in that moment that Rune's smile triumphed over his any day. Rune's smile was sincere and honest, where as Scott's was just fake and sexy. It was an empty smile. The opposite of Rune's.

"Hey! Scott. How's it going?" I conversed.

He leaned up beside Layla's locker and made a huge deal out of touching the exposed skin of my arm but retracted his hand just as quick, as if I burned him.

Before I could react to his touch, Layla excused herself to give me some privacy but started talking with Talon down the hall close enough that she could still probably hear me if she was Oro.

"Nothing, I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime."

"I..." I probably had a confused look on my face because he went on.

"With Aubrey, of course. I figured we could all get to know each other. Layla can come too, we can go to the river."

I bit my lip. "I'd love to but..."

"You see, my brother Jonathan, is coming home after living with my Mother. You know it's just my Dad and I. Anyway, I'm kind of worried he won't be able to fit in. He's a weird kid and I want him to make some friends."

"Are you... trying to hook me up with him?"

The killer sexy smile came back on his face. "Nothing gets past you, does it Emele?"

I couldn't believe it. Not only was Scott completely ignoring my feelings for him, but he was also trying to hook me up with his weird brother. I had hit a new low and his ignorance had struck a chord.

"I'm sorry but I'm dating someone else and I'm actually kind of busy at the moment. I have the swim team I'm practising for and I'm still kind of dealing with a lot of things related to my medical condition right now... it's not that I don't want to meet him. I'm sure he's great but my life is already messed up enough as it is right now."

"You're not dating Rune are you?" He asked, incredulous.

Like he couldn't believe that I, Emele, was dating someone like Rune.

I opened my mouth but I didn't reject the idea right away. I ended up staring at him for a brief second before finally saying "Good bye, Scott."

I stormed past him, Layla and Talon in the hall. I'm pretty sure the words "leave me the fuck alone" was written all over my face.

Before I knew where I was. I somehow had left the school and was walking the three miles it took to get home, my plan was flawed though, because if my parents caught me at the house I would probably be grounded or sent back to school.

I sighed, slinging my shoulder bag over and wondering where I should go. I debated about going back to the river when I realized I was standing outside a church. There was a sign out front that said confession 9am-11am.

I walked inside and noticed the place was empty. My parents weren't religious and neither was Aubrey. I didn't really know anyone that was but I knew the basics of Christianity. I had heard the Adam and Eve story and a few others from the bible. I hoped that entitled me to some forgiveness.

Not that I believed that I had sinned, obviously, I just thought that I needed someone to talk to. Someone who I could trust and would be like a bystander in my messed up life.

When I walked into the confessional, I heard the priest on the other side slide the window open.

I sat down and took a deep breath. "Forgive me father, for I may sin."

"Welcome daughter." The priest replied. "How may you sin?"

I thought about it but I didn't really know how to begin. "I'm sorry, father, but I've never really... confessed before. I don't know how this is supposed to work."

"Just talk to me about something that is troubling you." He urged me. "God forgives all."

"My life is complicated right now and I don't know how to keep it together." I started tapping my foot on the bottom of the wooden floor out of nervousness. "You can't tell anyone about what I say, yes?"

"Yes." He answered.

"I just found out who my biological mother was yesterday and I don't like who she is. I'm scared because I think that her sins may be passed on to me. I don't know what to do." My throat got thick, but I went on. "She doesn't know where I am, though, but I'm scared when she finds me she might try to... kill me or worse, try to use me."

"Sins of Mothers do not get passed down to daughters. Sins can only be created by oneself."

I sniffed, trying to keep myself from crying. "I know, Father. This is my excuse for what I'm about to do." The tapping of my foot increased and I gripped the edge of the chair with my hands. "I am friends with my enemies. My enemies may be my best friend. My best friend has been trained to kill and what can I do? All I can do is swim."

Suddenly, something came over me, a warmth I didn't know I had. The tears stopped but I still couldn't believe what I was going to say. "I'm going to learn how to protect myself so that when the time comes, I can save myself and the people I care about. I don't want to be a pawn in anyone's chess game. I'm going to be a different person than my Mother was."

"Daughter... there may be another way." He tried to reason with me. His voice wasn't as calm as it was before or at the beginning of the confession.

"There is no other way!" I yelled. I tried to compose myself for a few seconds, my outburst being totally out of line. I sniffed again and brought my head up to stare at the wooden boards. "Forgive me father, for I may sin." I took the picture of Queen Inna that I ripped out of Rune's book and stared at it for a few seconds. I let out a shaky breath and said, "I am going to kill people."

With those last words, I left the stall. I turned around to see if the priest would exit the confessional to see who I was but he didn't and I was already outside the church wiping away the tears that were dripping down my face. I already knew where I was headed.

I was going to the river.