Submerged in Water

After the day that the truth about the Kamille being trapped inside of me was reavealed, I could never sleep at night. Whenever I did, the dreams would come and with it, the terror and the pain.

I think the reason I was being effected as much as I was by this was because I felt more alone then I ever had before. I had always thought that Rune would be the one to help me, we would make it through together, building and forging a relationship that rivaled the strongest and yet to have Jonathan tell me his soul was reserved for someone else was devasting.

Aubrey and Scott only grew closer together after he revealed to her that he was an Ender. They both always showed up for the morning meetings, under the direction of Aubrey who wanted to watch and see what I could do. Whenever we met in the morning now, Robyn seemed to be mysteriously disappearing to do something else. Nobody seemed to care but I was worried and I didn't know how to express that.

Jonathan never came to the morning meetings, though he did once to tell us that he hadn't heard from Diara and that we best keep things hidden until everything started changing again. 'Shifting' as he called it. When one part of your life is being left behind and another part is replacing it.

Rune and I's relationship had to be the most awkward thing in the world to watch if you were a spectator. From my perspective, it was pure torture. I had never thought that two people could be on such bad terms. He never touched me and never talked to me about what Jonathan had said. Anytime I tried to bring it up, he distracted me in some way. Once even shooting an arrow at me.
Which I obviously blocked quickly, but even Aubrey and Scott later agreed it was out of line and the result of some pent up frustration.

After a two weeks of going through this stilted routine, I had enough.

"I'm done." I told Rune.

Robyn had managed to show up today, but she seemed more interested in her cell phone then anything what we were doing. Aubrey and Scott were sitting together, playing with a rabbit that Scott had 'summoned' from the forest in an attempt to dazzle and impress Aubrey.

And Rune was being his usual stone-cold and emotionally-stunted self. I stood there, holding my spear with my arm now that my muscles could handle it better, waiting for him to react to my words, but he was staring at me like I had gone insane.

"I said, I'm done." I spoke again, my words harsher. I didn't care if Robyn, Scott and Aubrey heard. "I haven't slept in two weeks. I can barely see straight. Nobody has talked to me at all. It's like everyone is scared of me, like at any moment I could become possessed without a moments notice. I'm just done. I can't take this anymore. Find yourself a new water princess."

I dropped the spear on the sand and whirled to head to the river. Instead of swimming down it and heading back towards the house, I crossed it and headed towards a larger body of water that I sensed farther away. It had to be an hour walk but it was better to walk than to think because when I thought, I knew I was going to beat myself up for over reacting.

For a moment in time, I pretended I was a normal human being. I dropped the bathing suit I was wearing on a log after a few minutes of walking and continued on through the forest naked. The weather was getting slightly warmer now that it was turning into spring, but the cold never really effected me much anyway.

It was freeing to walk and connect with the human part of me again. I let go of the water, let go of the possibilty that the dead Kamille were trapped inside of me and just forged and carved out a part of my mind that resembled the old Emele. The Emele that was there before any of this ever happened and I was just a regular girl with a regular sister who had a regular boyfriend.

I knew it frustrated Rune. I knew he had a lot of weight to bare now that he knew his fate and his destiny. It didn't help that I couldn't freeze things anymore, since he had always been my source for that part of me. Without him in the picture, I became weaker in that sense. However, I became better at burning and boiling the water, much to his dismay.

I thought for a moment, strolling through the forest and touching the wet bark of a tree, that maybe it was supposed to happen like this. I was supposed to let go of Rune and forge my own calm. One that wasn't dependent on another person. Maybe I was supposed to grow and emerge and become different person after this experience was all over and the pain would go away.
But right now it still hurt. Not even rational thinking could make it go away.

I finally made it to the lake and I didn't even hesistate before going inside. After spending an hour sinking into the human part of myself, I switched over to the Kamille side of myself.

It was different this time, since I knew nobody was watching me and I knew that I was safe. I was in my element after all.

While silently floating in the water, wondering how long I had gone without taking a breath, I realized I was becoming sleepier. Rune's words echoed in my head. The ones he said when he was reminded me that I was supposed to live in the sea. Maybe the reason I couldn't sleep was because I was supposed to sleep underwater.

At first, I didn't like the idea. It took a while for my eyes to adjust to the darkness in the deep lake and once I could, I saw thousands of fish all around me, some even circling around me like they were trying to protect me. In the river, I had never really paid much attention to my friends in the water, but here I could indulge in that simple pleasure.

I found a nice piece of grassy moss under the water on a long flat surface and figured if I was going to attempt my plan to sleep underwater, this would be the place to do it. I rested on the grassy moss and laid my head down.

I noticed that for the first time in two weeks, I was calm, but not so much so that I froze the lake over. I had gotten a better grasp of it over the past few weeks, even if I couldn't really control it, but it seemed that when I strengthed over abities the others one I had seemed to follow suit.
When I woke up, I didn't see much light at all. I took a moment to the appreciate the simple calm of the lake water and the deep breathing I had never noticed until now. I didn't have any horrible nightmares and I had slept well.

I swam to the surface and looked up at the moon. I would be in huge shit from my parents and the Oros couldn't track me when I was under water. They might've been looking for me, that is, if they cared enough to.

I swam to the shore and emerged slowly, my lungs waking from a long surpression.
I saw animals scrambling off into the forest as I came out. Normally, animals moving during the middle of the night and making noises would've scared me, but I kind of felt like they had been looking out for me.

I knew it was Friday afternoon when I left and that it was probably sometime during the middle of the night now. Possibly two or three in the morning since the moon was falling to the west. The sun would be rising in a couple of hours and I wanted to be back in my bed before that happened.
Thinking about a quick way to get back, I didn't notice when the ruffling in the bushes came back.

I recognized the voice. "Emele?" It was Jonathan.