Babies.

What I had hoped would be a very quick day, turned out to be the longest day of my life. I couldn’t focus on my work. All I could think of was Duke. I wondered what he was doing, if he was having fun, if they were taking care of him. If he missed me as much as I missed him…

I was more than happy when my last client walked out and I could clean up my station. I cleaned my brushes and bolted out of the salon as soon as I clocked out. I had never driven so fast in my life. I wasted no time when I got there. Parking quickly, I ran into the building and to the baby room.

I found Duke sitting on the floor, playing with Bronx. I ran to him and picked him up. All I could do was sit on the floor, rocking back and forth with my baby in my arms, and cry. “I’ve missed you so much, Dukey” I sobbed not ever wanting to let go again. I had no idea how I was going to do this every single day.

When I had finally calmed down, I pulled him back to just look at him. He smiled before putting his hand on my face. I had to choke down more tears that threatened to spill out of my eyes. “Oh, baby. I love you so much!” he only cooed at me. I took it as him saying that he’d loved me, too.

I finally stood up from the floor and went to talk to the teacher about his first day. “He was such an angel” she bragged to me. “He cried for a little bit after you left, but he and Bronx started playing and he was fine after that” I looked over at Bronx who was playing on the floor. “Thank you for taking care of my boy, sweetheart” he clapped his hands together, laughing. “You’re such a happy baby. I bet your daddy takes good care of you, huh?” “Of course I do” I heard him say behind me.

I slowly turned around and saw Pete standing there. “Well, I applaud you. Most dads don’t take care of their babies. Duke’s sure as hell doesn’t” his smile sort of faded. “I’m sorry” I shook my head. “No, it’s better this way. He’s not a good guy.” “So about that play date” Pete said changing the subject. “I’ll have to figure out when my next day off is” he nodded, understanding.

“Alright. Just let me know.” “I will.” “So how’d you handle being away from him?” I sighed. “It was so hard. I wanted to cry every second we were apart” he tilted his head to the side. “I’m sorry.” “How was it for you when you first put Bronx in daycare?” “Hard. Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do” I sighed. “Having kids is so tough” he nodded, agreeing. Duke started to yawn.

It was time for his nap. “Well, we better get home” I told Pete, looking at my watch and noticing it was almost 5:20. “Yeah. Us too” we let Bronx and Duke say goodbye to each other before we walked out to the parking lot together. I strapped Duke into the car seat then gave Bronx a kiss on the forehead.

Pete said goodbye to Duke then to me. After leaving, we got home and started our normal routine. I gave him a bottle and put him down for a 30 minute nap. While he was napping, I did a couple things around the house. I did laundry and started on dinner.

Around six, Duke started to wake up. I pulled him out of his crib and set him in his highchair and started to feed him. I gave him some baby food of mixed vegetables and apple juice. As he ate, I ate a salad and ramen noodles. Of course Duke had to have what I was having.

I cut up one noddle into tiny pieces and placed them on the tray for him. After dinner, we sat in the living room and played for a little bit. It was Wednesday so tonight was bath night for Duke. Around 8:30 I started to fill his bathtub with warm water. I let him splash around before I started to clean him off.

I wrapped him up in his monkey hooded towel and took him into his room. I put a diaper on him then put lotion all over his body. After running a brush through his hair, I put some footie pajamas on him. I turned on the TV and sat in the rocking chair as I fed Duke another bottle. He was asleep 45 minutes later.

After putting him in his crib, covering him up with a blanket and turning on his mobile, I kissed him on the forehead and shut the door behind me, leaving it open just a crack. I crept back in my room and changed into my own pajamas. I covered up with a blanket as I sat on the couch and changed the channel to Family Guy. I had started to yawn as the second episode of Family Guy came on. I was about to call it a night, when my phone started to ring.

“Hello?” I answered even though I didn’t recognize the number. “Hey.” “Hey” I replied, playing along even though I didn’t know who it was. “It’s me. Pete” I smiled. “Oh. Hi” he chuckled. “What are you doing?” “Watching TV, getting ready to go to bed” I grabbed the remote and turned the volume down.

“What are you doing?” “Just put Bronx to bed” it was almost eleven now. “Are you a single parent?” I asked, even though it was probably too personal, too soon. “Yes I am. My ex-wife isn’t too involved” I nodded, understanding how that was. “She’s too busy with her own life. She’ll only spend time with him when it’s her day to take him. I’m thinking about going for full custody” I nodded again. “I have full custody of Duke.” “Does the dad not want to be involved?” I shook my head no, even though he couldn’t see.

“He did at first. But it’s better for Duke and I to be away from him.” “Why?” there was no way I was ready to tell him about Duke’s dad. “I mean, it’s hard enough being a single parent.” “So you’re saying you’d rather me put my child in danger than raise him on my own?” there was silence. “Whatever. Night, Pete” I hung up before he could say anything. I shut off the TV and went to bed. In the morning, I woke up in a much better mood than I was when I went to sleep.

I once again got myself ready before Duke woke up. I showered and let my hair go in its natural waves. I then dressed in bright red leggings, a plain black shirt that covered my butt and black combat boots. By the time I started on my makeup, Duke had woken up. He was smiling before I even stepped in the room.

As usual, I set him on the floor with some toys as I finished getting ready. We were running late as I took off for daycare. I pulled him out of the car seat and ran back to the baby room. I helped him stand up as I straightened out his outfit. I’d dressed him in blue shorts and a gray shirt that had a couple of blue balloons on it.

I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek before setting him on the floor. A little girl came over and sat next to him. I noticed Bronx wasn’t there yet. It was a good thing, too because I wasn’t in the mood to see Pete. I told Duke I loved him before heading towards the door.

Just as I walked out, Pete and Bronx came in. He shot me a smile but I didn’t return it. It sucked that just as I was making a new friend, I lost him. Once you suggested something like he did, there was no way I was going to forgive you. No matter whom you were.

I had gotten in my car and was getting ready to take off, when there was a knock on my window. Of course it was Pete. I didn’t roll down my window so he moved in front of my car. I wasn’t going to run over Pete Wentz. I unbuckled my seatbelt jumped out and slammed the door behind me.

“What? What do you want?” I said harshly as he walked over to me. “I wanted to apologize. I didn’t mean it the way it sounded” I was fuming. “I don’t care! You don’t know shit about me or Duke!” I threw my hands around. “You don’t know anything about his dad what he did to me or what he could have done to Duke” I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and threatening to spill out. “Duke is my child” I started to calm down as I noticed some people looking at us.

“I know what’s best for him. I’m his mother. I have to protect him. And if that means raising him on my own, then so be it” he nodded. He hadn’t said anything yet which was surprising to me. “I don’t think that play date will work anymore” his mouth dropped a little. “What?” “Sorry. When you say something like that, I’m not going to forgive you” he said nothing. “Duke and Bronx can still play together but only at daycare.” “Wynter, I-” he started to fumble for words.

“I’m late for work. I have to go” I got back in my car and was able to drive off without him protesting.