Status: I've never done anything like this.
Douteux
Ses lèvres sur mon cou
I always managed to mess things up with Everett whenever alcohol was involved. One of the worst fights we had was when I convinced Everett to go to the club with me. We were there having fun and drinking. Everything was good until Everett went to the bathroom and some random guy asked me to dance. For some reason I saw nothing wrong with dancing with him. We started dancing and things progressed quickly ad the next thing I knew he was sucking on my neck. I was enjoying it too much because I let out a moan and I opened my eyes and saw Everett standing in front of me. I looked in his eyes and saw nothing but disappointment. I pushed the random guy off of me and walked towards Everett.
"I think it's time we leave," he said into my ear as he grabbed my hand.
"Okay," was all I said. I followed him out of the club. We didn't say anything as we walked towards his car. I would be lying if I said wasn't scared of the conversation we were about to have.
We got in the car and there was still silence. I wanted to turn the radio on to break the awkward tension but I couldn't bring myself to. I knew I fucked up and I knew we needed to talk about it.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"For some reason I don't think you are," he said with his eyes still locked on the road.
"I really am."
"I don't understand why you did that. I mean what did I do to deserve that?" he looked away at the road for a quick second and glanced at me.
"I don't know. I don't know why I always fuck things up." It was true I didn't know why I always messed things up.
He pulled up in front of my house, "I can tell you why you mess stuff up, it because you are terrified of getting hurt. You think of you mess things up yourself you won't get hurt."
I felt like he was right that he hit the nail on the head.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"Just realize I'm not gonna hurt you," he said reaching over and grabbing my hand.
"I'm trying to realize it."
I was lucky Everett was welling to put up with me. I was also lucky that he was willing to stick around and put up with me.
"I think it's time we leave," he said into my ear as he grabbed my hand.
"Okay," was all I said. I followed him out of the club. We didn't say anything as we walked towards his car. I would be lying if I said wasn't scared of the conversation we were about to have.
We got in the car and there was still silence. I wanted to turn the radio on to break the awkward tension but I couldn't bring myself to. I knew I fucked up and I knew we needed to talk about it.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"For some reason I don't think you are," he said with his eyes still locked on the road.
"I really am."
"I don't understand why you did that. I mean what did I do to deserve that?" he looked away at the road for a quick second and glanced at me.
"I don't know. I don't know why I always fuck things up." It was true I didn't know why I always messed things up.
He pulled up in front of my house, "I can tell you why you mess stuff up, it because you are terrified of getting hurt. You think of you mess things up yourself you won't get hurt."
I felt like he was right that he hit the nail on the head.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"Just realize I'm not gonna hurt you," he said reaching over and grabbing my hand.
"I'm trying to realize it."
I was lucky Everett was welling to put up with me. I was also lucky that he was willing to stick around and put up with me.
♠ ♠ ♠
Personal experience here.