Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back

Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny... - C.S Lewis

Chapter 3

Rick introduced me to the group; pretty much everyone seemed receptive of me. Almost everyone.

I sat between Rick and Andrea.

“How are you?” she asked putting an arm around me.

I smiled at her, “Better. Kind of disoriented, but better.”

“Good,” she said nodding and moving her arm.

Carol handed me a plate of food from the other side of Andrea, I took it graciously and began eating quickly. I found myself trying to slow down as much as possible or I knew I would throw everything back up. But, it had been days since I had eaten I proper meal.

I heard a scoff and some mumbling a few people down from me and looked in the general direction as I chewed; Shane was looking over at Daryl. Daryl was the only one who hadn’t really made any note of my existence.

“Got somethin you wanna share, Daryl?” Shane asked.

Daryl shot him a look, and smirked, “Nah.”

Shane put his paper plate on the ground and turned to face Daryl full on; I swallowed my food and looked to Rick who was shaking his head.

“Speak up, Daryl. Ya got something ya wanna say? Or you just gonna mumble shit?” Shane asked getting more frustrated with every passing word.

“Shane, just relax,” Rick started but was cut off.

Shane stood up, “Nah, he wants to say somethin’, I want him to say it.”

Daryl threw his food into the little fire in the middle of the circle of us and stood up.

“Yeah, I got somethin to say. We just added another damn mouth to feed, it would be fine if the new person had somethin to add to the group, but she don’t,” he said then turned to look right at me, “Rick told us yer boyfriend or whatever taught you how to hunt. Don’t mean nothing here, girl. We got actual work that needs doin ‘round here. Don’t need you slowing us down.”

I stared back at him wide eyed; shocked that he would say that to me, I hadn’t even spoken to anyone yet.

“We should be back out there lookin for that little girl! Instead we’re sitting round this circle with this girl that we should have never let in this group,” Daryl was looking at Rick, trying to get his point across.

Rick stood up, “Listen to me, Daryl. Emerson is a part of the group. Majority rules, ya understand me?”

Daryl stood there, looked side to side at everyone before he sat back down, “Bull shit. That’s what this is.”

“Calm the fuck down, Daryl. Yer being dumb as hell right now,” Shane said from where he was still standing.

“All I’m saying is we don’t know her, don’t know nothing bout her. Could be lying for all we know. This guy or group or whatever she was with might be lying in wait till we get more comfortable, then BAM!” he shouted the last running punching his fist into his open hand.

“I’ll take you back to our old camp,” I said to Rick.

He sat down beside me and looked at me, “What?”

I put my food down, “If that’s going to earn the trust, then I’ll do it. We had more guns, more ammo, food, clothes, there’s gas for the car. We had everything we needed to survive there. I will take y’all there.”

Rick rubbed his chin, but it was Glenn who spoke up, “You don’t need to do that. You’re already a part of this group; you don’t need to prove anything to us.”

I smiled gratefully at him, he returned a small smile, “And even the Chinaman has lost his damn mind,” Daryl mumbled loud enough for us to hear.

Glenn got a pink tinge to his face but looked at Daryl, “I’m Korean,” he said plainly.

Daryl rolled his eyes, “Whatever.”

Rick ignored the last bit between Daryl and Glenn, “Emerson, Glenn is right. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone of us. We agreed you would stay, and we’re not just going to kick you out based on what Daryl Dixon says.”

“I want to. I would feel a million percent better about being a part of this group if I could do this. Whether or not y’all think I need to prove anything, it will put me at ease. Please,” I said staring at him, “let me do this.”

“And waste five days while ya go lookin for this place? Wouldn’t know where the hell yer going,” Daryl spat from his seat.

I didn’t look at him, I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he was getting to me, all I could think was if one person was thinking this kind of stuff, who was to say that the rest of the group didn’t think that kind of stuff.

“Give me a map, I’ll know exactly where it is on a map,” I pleaded.

Rick looked at me for a few seconds before nodding, “Dale,” he called to the older man sitting beside Glenn, “Do me a favor, go to the R.V and get Emerson a map.”

I looked over at Dale, he had his Hawaiian shirt unbuttoned with a white undershirt under it, he smiled a little at me and nodded, “Not a problem,” he said putting his food on the ground, he adjusted his hat before he got up and walked away.

“That’s it?” Daryl asked, “Yer just gonna let her go there, and take one of us with her? Then what? When they don’t come back, yer gonna look like an idiot.”

Rick looked at Glenn, “Glenn, do you have a problem going with her?”

I looked over to Glenn quickly, I didn’t know him at all, but I was praying he would say yes.

Glenn nodded his head, “Fine with me.”

Rick looked to me, “Glenn is kind of our ‘run’ guy. He’s fast; he’ll help keep you safe.”

I nodded, “Thank-you,” I said looking over to Glenn who smiled and nodded back once to me.

Rick nodded once as Dale came back over and gave me a map, “It’s about a thousand mile range, so where you were will more than likely be on there.”

I took the map, “Thank-you, Dale,” I said with a smile.

He smiled back and went back to his side, “Anything for a member of the group,” he said looking at me.

I continued smiling and looked down at the map, Rick pointed out where we were now, it took almost no time for me to locate where the old camp was that I was at with Ryan and everyone.

“Right here,” I said pointing to a little clearing almost 400 miles away. I looked at the distance between where I was and where I started. I couldn’t believe I had walked all that way. I felt dizzy thinking about it.

“That’ll take a long while drivin,” Rick mused. Then he smirked a little bit, “Daryl, you’re going with the two of them.”

“Like HELL I am!” Daryl yelled standing up.

Rick stood up and he had this serious look of authority on his face. I wasn’t expecting it at all.

“Daryl, you are goin with them. You’re the one that has this big problem with this, so you go and see for yourself what she wants to show us. And if it is a trap like you said, then I will be the bigger man and apologize. But you will go with them and see for yourself, understand?” he didn’t have to yell or scream, he said it as calm as he could.

I was expecting Daryl to say some terrible things back to him, but he just gave me a dirty look and sat back down, “I’m still gonna be lookin for that little girl. She was here first.”

Rick sat down and put his hands up, “When you come back, by all means, I want you to keep looking for her. Hell, when you’re with Emerson and Glenn, keep looking; never know what you’ll find. We will keep looking while y’all are gone.”

“Fine,” Daryl growled and stood up, “We’re leaving in ten minutes.” He stomped off to, what I was guessing, was his tent.

“Don’t take it personal,” Andrea said after a minute of silence.

I shrugged and folded the map back up as best as I could, I put it on the ground and picked my food back up, “It’s alright. I want to apologize to everyone; I really don’t mean to be an imposition. That’s why I want to do this so badly, this isn’t a trick or anything; I just want y’all to trust me.”

“If Rick trusts you, then we all trust you,” Lori, Rick’s wife, told me with a small smile.

“Clearly not everyone,” I said looking over where Daryl was.

“Don’t worry about him; he’s stressed out is all. Carol’s daughter is missing, and he’s been trying nonstop for the last day and a half to find her,” Dale informed me.

I looked over to Carol, “I’m so sorry.”

She nodded with a sad smile, “Thank-you. Daryl is a good guy. He really is he just...takes some getting used to.”

I looked down at my plate; Rick put his hand on my shoulder, “Don’t worry. Like I said, we’re not sending you away just cause of something he says. When you come back there will be a tent set up for you.”

I looked at him, “Thank-you.”

“Not a problem. Glenn’s gone to get some guns, while we’re on Hershel’s land, he’s asked that we don’t keep them on us at all times, only when necessary. Glenn is going to give you the gun you had in your bag,” he informed me, I nodded taking it all in, “Better get going, not that you need to worry about Daryl, but might as well not make him any more unbearable to drive with.”

“That’s probably true,” I said thoughtfully, standing up, and bringing the map with me.

“Good luck,” Rick called to me as I walked over to Glenn.

“Stay safe!” Andrea called.

Glenn raised a hand to wave, “We will.”

He handed me my gun, I checked to make sure it was loaded, which it was. He had my bag next to him on the table; I opened it and grabbed my knife which I slid into my back pocket of the jeans Hershel’s daughter Maggie left for me. Glenn was grabbing boxes of ammo to take with us. I grabbed two extra clips of bullets to have on me in my pocket.

“Y’all ready or what?” Daryl called from the passenger seat of a car.

Glenn smiled at me, “Nervous?” he asked as we walked slowly to the car.

I shrugged, “A little.”

He nodded sadly, “Don’t worry; we’ll be back before you know it.”

We walked up the car; I figured I would be driving since I knew where the camp was. But obviously Daryl had other plans.

“Glenn, yer drivin,” he said without looking at us.

I rolled my eyes and opened the back door; I took my knife out and put it on the seat beside me along with the map before sliding in. I slammed the door.

Glenn got into the driver’s seat in front of me, “She should be driving, dude. She knows where this place is.”

Daryl looked at me briefly before turning his head to face the window, “Shut up and drive.”

Glenn huffed, and caught my eye in the rear-view mirror, he rolled his eyes and I shrugged apologetically. He put the car in drive and we took off. I looked out the back window at the farm growing smaller and smaller. It was already getting dark outside, and I hoped we would make it back all in one piece.