Certifiable

Mornings were horrible things in my book. No matter how bad the night before was, the morning still came. You could always count on that and it was frustrating. Sometimes the mere anticipation of the sun kept sleep hidden from me. Some nights, craving rest was futile. Sun was troublesome. It made darkness hide, showing everything that you thought was gone. I loathed the morning. I loathed the light.

The sun’s rays sneaked into my room through my window, and rested on my face. I squeezed my eyes closed tightly as if they could close any further. The sound of the birds chirping penetrated my consciousness, ringing in my ears. The only thing good about mornings was breakfast. Ironically, breakfast was my favorite meal of the day. It had been two weeks since my last exam and the beginning of summer vacation.

Today was my first day of work at Mercy Hospital. This very fact made it even harder for me to get up. Unfortunately, my mind became increasingly conscious by each passing moment. The thought of being around THOSE people made me sick, but I had to think about the benefits. I had to get the money to get me through school. My future was on the line. Without school, there would be no career, and with no career, I could not get out of this place. I could not leave everyone and live alone. That’s all I wanted.

I wouldn’t have even accepted the job if it wasn’t for the money. I would do almost anything to get that kind of paycheck. I needed that money. Of course I could get all the money I wanted from Ryan, but that would make me just like those whiney brats at school. I was going to do this by myself and that is the reason why I needed this job.

With a loud grunt, I tossed and turned in my bed, entangling myself in my jungle of covers. With a loud meow, my cat, Tiger, jumped off the bed. Tiger sounded scared and totally unaware of the reason of the war between me and the morning. The scent of fresh linen filled the air. I tried to fight waking up with all my might but had no luck.

Finally resting on my back, my head popped up and scanned my room as if it was some place new. The spacious room had a classic theme of crème and brown to it. Much of the furniture was bought downtown from a cute little shop that specialized in antiques. All of it was surprisingly cheap but looked incredible. My hand mindlessly reached over to the bedside table and fumbled for my phone. Finally, getting it within my grasp, I put it in front of my face to see the time. My eyes strained to focus. The morning haze blurred the numbers on my phone screen. After a few moments of hard staring, my sight cleared. It was 10:30 am.

“Ugh!!” I groaned. My voice was filled with raw grogginess. It was way earlier than the time I was supposed to wake up. My body had a way of setting its own internal alarm clock. I flung my body back into the comfort of my bed. The bed invited me in with open arms. Its pillows and fluffy covers framed my body. I scrunched my eyes close as a futile attempt to fall back to sleep, but there was no use. I was wide awake now.

My phone—which now laid next to my face—let out a blaring ring. The elaborate dancing tone nearly deafened me. My ears ached and I turned to see who it was. The name Ryan Beach lighted up my phone screen along with a lovely picture of the both of us playfully hugging. My arm reached across my body and grabbed the dancing phone. I answered it after letting it ring a couple of times.

“Hello?” My voice had not fully lost the evidence of sleepiness yet.

“Hi, Babe! Are you still sleeping?” Ryan practically sung the words. His joy brought me utter annoyance. But that’s how I always felt about him.

“How could you be so happy this early?” I ruffled my hair in slight frustration. “And you know how I feel about pet names, Ryan. They’re tacky.” I scolded. Ryan was quite hard-headed sometimes. He knew when I said something it was final. I hated repeating myself. I could not decide whether my agitation was due more to the morning or Ryan. If it wasn’t for the convenience of our relationship, I would’ve ended it a long time ago.

“I’m sorry. I just get carried away sometimes.” He said this sounding slightly disappointed. Even though Ryan was a big muscular man, but he was spineless, which is how I liked him. Everything was on my terms and that’s how I liked it. I was always in control.

“It’s okay, Ryan.” My voice sweetened to make him feel better. “What’s up?” I prodded him to continue speaking.

“Um..I am just calling you to see if you are okay. I know today is your big first day at work. Is there anything that you want me to do? Do you want me to drive you there?” His words spilled out unsure about something. I couldn’t tell what it was; however, I did not have to guess for long.

“I guess I’m kind of nervous for you. I know you’ve never had a job before. And even though it’s just at Gena’s aunt’s boutique downtown, it’s still a job, you know. I want to make sure that this morning goes smoothly for you. I’ll do whatever you want, just say the word.”

I flinched at his words. My repeated lie hit me straight in the face. I did not tell Ryan that I was working at Mercy Hospital because I did not want to deal with his fussing. I had to tell Gena because I could not possibly lie to her and that was giving me many problems. She had been constantly worried ever since. Gena had not missed an opportunity to voice her disapproval of the whole idea. My stomach seemed to fall beneath me. I was nauseated from my dishonesty, but I ignored the feeling like it was second nature.

“Aw that’s so sweet.” I said more gratuitous than I actually felt. “I’m okay, Ryan. Did you forget that Gena works there too? She’ll show me everything there is to know. It’s good to know you care so much and just hearing your voice makes everything, alright.” I was quite the charmer. My words were my snakes that comforted and manipulated any unsuspected victim. I could talk a man off a ledge or into buying me a coffee at a shop, if it was necessary.

I got out of my bed, with my phone still glued to my ear. Shrugging my shoulder up and tilting my head, so the phone stayed in place. My newly free hands quickly made the bed, arranging the sheets and pillows in an orderly manner. He took in my words, not suspecting any falsehood.

“Well, of course I care. I have the most amazing girlfriend in the world.” I slightly smiled at his gullibility. He was so clueless.

“Yes, well I’ll be sure to make note of that.” We both chuckled. “Hey, I have to start getting ready now, so I‘ll talk to you tonight or something. Okay?” I had finished making my bed and my ear was becoming sticky from contact with my phone screen.

“Sure. Sure. I’ll call you after you get off of work. Love you, Corinne! Bye.” Ryan’s voice sounded hopeful and tender, but I hung up the phone quickly. I did not time to be lovey. I needed to get ready. He’d understand.

I walk into the bathroom connected to my room like I had risen from the dead. My legs sheepishly moved against the urge to stop. Once I made it inside, I took off my clothes and went in the shower. I washed away the dirt of the day before. I scrubbed extra hard, seemingly trying to wash away some unseen dirt.

After successfully washing myself to a new level of sterility, I put on the bra and underwear set that I placed in the bathroom the night before. I inspected myself all over, taking notes of every speck, scar, and freckle on my body. It was apart my daily routine. Then I walked to the sink, and plugged in the straightener located on the counter. My wet tight curly hair stuck to my skin as it hung over my shoulder, touching the top of my bra cup. It looked nice wet but it never stayed that way. My hair grew in volume and shrunk in length when it dried. I had shown Ryan my natural hair one day and he agreed with me that he liked it better straightened. However, Gena disagreed with both of us. She celebrated my curly hair like it was her own.

I brushed my teeth while I waited for the straightener. After a few moments, the flat iron heated up and I went to work. It took an hour but I finally got my hair completely straightened. I threw my hair into a styled low bun and put on my blue colored scrubs. The scrubs fit loosely on my body. They gave me a box shape, hiding every observable curve. I looked down at myself.

This is the professional look, I guess.

This is it.

Opening the mirror, which doubled as a medicine cabinet, I took out the three pill bottles that were neatly placed on the second shelf. I took out the prescribed dosage out of each of them.

The bathroom door creaked open behind me. “Cori? Are you dressed?” I turned around to see Gena standing in the bathroom. Her eyes were squeezed shut in respect of my privacy.

“Yes, Gena, I’m fully clothed.” I said, turning back to the mirror. “You can open your eyes now, Ray Charles.” A low chuckle rumbled through me.

“That’s not funny.” She opened her eyes. “You shouldn’t make fun of blind people.” Gena said feigning an admonishing tone. I chuckled a little more and then placed the assorted pills in my mouth. Turning on the facet, I collected a hand full of water and swallowed back my pills. Gena showed up at my side, looking at me intently. I finished swallowing and returned her stare.

“My vitamins.” She nodded in understanding but stayed quiet for a second. That was unlike her, since she was a morning person. She was deep in thought.

Here it comes, I thought to myself.

“Cori, I know you don’t want me to worry about you, but I do.” Her pale blue eyes glistened. “And I always will.” Gena paused. “Maybe you shouldn’t go today. You don’t need that job. You can work with me at the boutique. I’m sure my aunt could find something for you to do. I don’t want you to work at Mercy. It has dangerous people there. You could get hurt.” I rolled my eyes. She worries way too much.

“I’ll be fine.” I tried to reason with her, giving my softest look and tone. “Don’t worry about it. I’m pretty tough.”

“But Corinne-“ She started but I cut her off. I didn’t have time for her worrisome delusions.

“I’m going, and that’s final. This kind of money will help me stay afloat with this increase in our tuition. Stop being such a worry wart!” I stuck my tongue out at her. “You’re going to have a heart attack! Stop worrying so much!!”I said over dramatically, trying to change the subject. I grabbed her shoulders and shook her, violently. Gena laughed. That’s all that she could do. I guess she had nothing left to say because she quietly left after that, leaving me with my thoughts by myself as I put on my make-up.

Standing there alone, I dreamed about the future. I dreamed of the day when I left this place and began my career. Maybe, I would leave with Ryan as my husband. Maybe. That’s if he played his cards right and he doesn’t annoy me too much. I loved Gena a lot, but she wouldn’t be coming with me. I probably wouldn’t even say goodbye. Goodbyes were sloppy and emotional. Two of the many things that I despised. She’d understand, she always did.

I began to practice good facial expressions to wear throughout the day. My mouth widened and the corners turned up into a slight grin.

That’s good enough for me.

I left the bathroom and grabbed all the things that I would possible need for the day: my purse, my wallet, a watch, and my phone. I also grabbed a “sanitary napkin” and a couple of tissues and stuffed them in my purse just in case of emergencies. I doubled checked and rechecked all my things. I looked at the time.

It’s 12:30 pm. If I leave now, I can get there by 1, and I’ll be early. That’s sounds good to me.

Swinging my purse over my shoulder, I left my room and ran down the old wooden stairs. I walked up the hallway and spotted Gena laying down in the living room. She was stretched across the couch eating a tub of ice cream. I laughed at the sight of her, which made her turn and look at me.

“Ice cream?” I said, incredulously.

“Don’t judge me.” Her words were muffled by a mouth full of frozen delight.

“Oh, I’m not.” I laughed again.

I walked over to the door and put my hand on the knob. With a sharp turn of it, the door glided open.

“Be safe,” was all I heard before the light took over my senses.