Certifiable

I ran down the front steps of the wooden porch. With each stomp of my foot, the stairs let out a small cry. Reaching the pavement, I turned around and stared at the quaint, Victorian home. It was a pleasure to see and provoked old memories. The house was originally my grandparents’. They had left the house and a trust fund for me when they died. Unfortunately, I couldn’t touch my trust fund until I was twenty-five, but a girl could only dream of what she would do with all that money. It couldn’t help me now but it would be a great thing to have during grad school.

My family was never rich in anyway, but my grandparents made sure they saved up some money for me before they left. They always looked out for me no matter what, and that is why I loved them. I can truly say that they were the most important people that I had ever known and that I would ever know. They practically raised me and even after their death, they were still taking care of me. My heart could only unconditionally love them. My grandparents were the ones that taught me what real love—not the stuff you see in movies—was, but it’s just really rare. I could never hope to find love like that again.

I shook my head and walked down the sidewalk to the drive way, pushing away the emotion. Sometimes, I could not even fall apart in front of myself. It was completely unproductive and the biggest waste of time.

I stopped in front of the drive way. My truck sat peacefully waiting to be used. My mind contemplated driving to work, but then I remembered that Gena had to work also. The weather was beautiful and temperate. The sun beat down on my skin and head, giving a slight blissful burn. The hospital was not that far off, so it would be an easy walk. It was located on the outskirts of the town of Madison. However, the town was small enough that you could probably walk across it in a matter of an hour or so.

My legs mechanically took me away from my neighborhood and through downtown. The downtown area was the closest thing to urban that the town had. It was full of local shops and eateries that gave Madison a relaxing and domestic feeling. I walked and took it all in.

Madison was truly a beautiful town. It was the closest thing I had to home. I only hated it for the feelings it brought—the memories it called. I couldn’t escape them without leaving. My fondness for this quaint town could not be measured in words, but it didn’t matter. Once the time arrived, I would leave without looking back.

It did not take long for me to make it out of downtown. The number of structures greatly diminished, letting me know that I was almost there. With each step, I was closer to the madness, the chaos. My pace slowed remarkably as I approached the building, but I eventually reached my destination.

There were no other buildings that stood near it. Besides the secluded setting, a tall wall cut Mercy Hospital off from the rest of the world. One could wonder whether they were trying to keep people in or everyone else out. The hospital stood there full of horrendous splendor, taunting me somehow. It called out to me like a Siren, leading me to my doom. To the eyes of the ignorant, Mercy could be mistaken as an abandoned home of a wealthy family from old money. However, a closer look would prove that a dear mistake. I looked through the holes of the gate entrance. The manor-like structure was clearly built a while ago. The brick walls and roofing were tarnished by decades of weathering.

I sheepishly opened the rusted gate. It had various vines and plants that had grown about the intricate iron work. I was sure that the gate was once a beautiful detail but now it was a shadow of its former glory, just like Mercy. The gate hesitantly opened with a loud creak. I winced at the piercing sound, but continued on my way. With a heavy sigh, I walked up the long driveway. My shoes made a muffled sound as they hit the gray cobblestone. It kept a steady rhythm that momentarily distracted me. However, my mind snapped back to reality once I reached the bottom step of the towering building.

My sight fell upon the raggedy sign above the entrance that read, “Mercy State Hospital: Home for the Mentally Ill.”

I stared at the word hospital longer than necessary. What was the point of hospitals like this? Containment? Rehabilitation? Most of these people were the dregs of society, forgotten and thrown away. What good was that? These people couldn’t be helped, unless they decided to help themselves. Hospitals were just crutches that hindered self-improvement. They were for the helpless and helpless people don’t survive long—not in this world. But I’m not here to give my opinion; I’m just here to work. I hope I remembered that.

As I looked at the worn building, familiarity consumed me entirely. The scene evoked some distant locked away memory but I suppressed it. There was no time for that now, maybe tomorrow. I quickly ascended the stone steps and stopped short of the double doors.

At that moment I started to feel it: ravenous butterflies tearing through my stomach. The feeling nearly took me off my feet. I couldn’t think of the last time I felt this….nervous. The more I thought about it, the more I felt the holes being ripped through me. I could not think at all. My body shook all over, causing my teeth to chatter a little.

I had to calm down. This isn’t that serious. There’s no rhyme or reason for this anxiety. After all, it’s just a job. The money is what I’m really after. All I had to do was go in here and act like I cared about these people. Seems easy enough? I just had to act kind, loving, and gentle. That wouldn’t be so bad, huh?

With a trembling hand, I pushed the button next to the doorway to signal my arrival, hoping that I could swallow back my anxiety. A voice erupted from the circular speaker located above the button that caused me to jump in surprise.

“State your name and your business.” I could tell that this monotone voice came from someone I knew or used to know.

“It’s Corinne Adams and I’m here to work.” I inwardly kicked myself for sounding a bit nervous and unsure. I couldn’t quite calm the clamoring within me. However, it went unnoticed because the man seemed to cheer up a bit.

“Oh, Corinne! It’s good to hear from you. I’m so glad that you’re here and I’m sure Mrs. Robinson will be too. Come right in. We’ve been expecting you!” I gave a painful smile to the sounding speaker. The door buzzed and clicked, indicating it was unlocked. I grabbed hold of the door knob but hesitated again.

He forgot to say it, my thought chimed. The intrusive words filled my consciousness.

“Say what?” I whispered in confusion at myself.

Welcome back to hell.