A Hidden Secret

“Evania” I feel a soft, yet firm hand shaking my shoulder.

“Mm” I swat the hand away, trying to roll over.

“Ah- no you don’t” Tugged into a sitting position, my eye’s fly open and land on Hayden, whose crouched in front of me, both my wrist in his hands. Mind foggy from sleep I try and remember what happened last, Hayden was carrying me and then – nothing. A burst of wind makes me startle, looking around I realize I am outside.

“Why are we here?” and for some reason I fear it, shrinking back into Hayden’s chest.

“You want to be outside and I should of known better than to keep you locked up, I forget how social humans are” looking around I don’t see anyone else.

“How can I be social without anyone else?” Hayden seems shocked, then confused, and then he’s laughing.

“Oh no, I mean how strong willed and free humans are they love the open.” Nodding I understand now and I also realize the position I was in with Hayden, I was bundled up against his chest, both his legs stretched out with me sitting between them, and his arms wrapped around my waist, and chin leaning on my shoulder. Paralyzed I just watch are position, aware of my heart beat picking up, Hayden hears it too. Growling in frustration he lets me go “I won’t hurt you” he stands and starts walking away, leaving me sitting alone and confused.

Finally I realize he thought I was scared but, I wasn’t. I wasn’t afraid of him, why was my heart picking up? I shove the thought down not really wanting to know. Standing I brush myself off and follow Hayden, until I realized it was dark and I couldn’t really see a thing. “I wasn’t scared” I said quietly but, enough I knew he could hear.

I gasp as I feel his presence by me “Your body says another thing” he says low still growling.

“You are bad at reading my body then” I blush at my statement and I know he can see me clearly, ducking my head I turn the other way. “I was not scared, and you need to stop growling it’s annoying, you’re not an animal.” Was I wrong though? I mean was he an animal?

“Not an animal? That is what society and my kind project us as, so how are we not animals? I drink blood, and I am unbelievable capable of many things more than a human.” His voice is regular but, I can still hear the edge in it.

“Yes you do, and I do things you don’t and others do different thing” Spinning around to face him, I place my hand at his heart, and there a strong thud. “You have a heartbeat” Grabbing his hand I place it on my own, ignoring the fact where his hand was now resting, I let him feel my heart beat. “I have a heartbeat; you look like a man to me? You are human, but maybe a different kind of human.” I don’t know how long we stand there staring at each other it feels like ages, decades!

My breathing starts to go rapidly and my heart beat picks up. “You truly are magnificent; your heartbeat is like a little hummingbird, why are you so excited?” I can hear a dangerous note in his voice but, I choose to ignore it.

“I-I don’t know” I stutter slightly, blushing I try and move away and then just like that, with reflexes I did even have time to blink, I am pinned to a tree. “H-hayden” I say a bit shaky.

“You’re lying, I can sense it.” My heartbeat does an odd panic jump “Now you are scared.”

“Fear is something you should never fear, even when you're terrified don’t let it show. Harden yourself, emotions causes pain and people will use it against you”. Those where one of my mother’s many, lessons.

Standing straighter, I look him in the eye, taking deep breathes I gain control over my heart again. Once I am calm never once looking away from Hayden “I am not scared of you” My voice full of venom, I push past him. “Take me back to your home” I do not bother calling it my home, and in Hayden’s eye’s I see he realized he did something, he made me take a step back when he thought he was coming closer. I feel as if I had just jumped back into a pit, but my mother’s words were glued into my head.

“Evania” I silence Hayden with my hand.

“Now” I growled and without further instructions, Hayden guided me back to his home. We didn’t speak the whole time and frankly I was glad for that. Once in the house I disappear around the corner and without thinking or caring if anyone saw me, I made a mad dash to my room.

I was going to cry I could feel it, slamming my door I collapse half on my bed. I didn’t cry though, my tears were stuck in my throat, and I dry sobs. I hated it here, why me? Why did he have to drag me into this hell hole, I went through stuff as a child and now I thought I had escaped it but, no. I am forever being used, abused, and forever alone.