Love and Hate

There was no meeting, there was no plan for today, so I decided to stay home and contemplate everything that had happened, and everything that I feel. The more I thought about what happened, the harder my heart thumped in my chest. I felt my blood rush and I kept thinking and thinking, until my maid came in.

"Excuse me, America? A mister Russia is here to see you," he said, hiding terror in his eyes.

I nodded, "I'll be down in a moment."

He nodded and backed out of the room.

I sat on my bed for a minute. My heart thudded inside my ribcage. Is it too much for me to handle? Seeing him outside of the meeting? I felt faint, light-headed. I took a deep breath and told myself to keep calm.

I decended down the steps.

"He is waiting for you on the veranda, I will be right out with your tea," he nodded and walked towards the kitchen.

I walked out towards the veranda and saw Russia in his usual cloak and scarf. He appeared distracted by some sunflowers I planted. Sunflowers. His favorite flower. When did I plant those? Ah, a week after the... incident.

I steadied myslef and walked over to him.

"Hey ya, Russia. What can I do for you?" I half-hearted waved at him from behind.

He turned around and smiled. Oh his smile. I tried to ignore it.

"Hello, America. These are some lovely sunflowers you have planted, da?"

"Uh. Yeah. So what brings you here?"

"Ah, yes. Your left your glove at my house." He pulled it out of his pocket and sat it in my hand.

"Oh. Thank you."

"Tea, sir?" my maid ask.

"Yes, please. Russia, would you like to stay for some tea?" I looked over at him.

"Hm? Ah, yes. As long as I get to enjoy the sight of these lovely sunflowers, da?"

The maid gave us our tea and returned from where he came.

I sipped my tea and watched Russia stare that the sunflowers. He looked so calmed and relaxed, if only he knew how I felt. My heart beat increased when I saw him lift his cup of tea to his lips. I could feel my face burn, but I ignored it. I closed my eyes and sipped my tea.

I looked up and he was looking at his watch.

"It is time for me to go, da?"

"Alright. I'll see you out," I stood. I hadn't realized how close our chairs were. He was less than an inch from me. I stepped to the side and let him pass first. My heart hadn't raced this fast since the event. I walked him out to his vehical and waved him off.

I went back in and crawled to my bed. The light was off and I was alone. So, I played the saddest love song about being secretly in love with someone, and actually understood everyword.