Straight Through My Heart

After the little spat with Gerard, we had started walking again. We were currently about a block from my house, and just enjoying the other's presence. We barely said anything on the way over, but that was okay. The silence between us wasn't awkward, it was comfortable.

We finally arrived at my place, and I heard her before I saw her. My mother was going on a rampage, and full out. I ran up the stairs onto the porch, swinging the door open and started calling for her. "Mom! Where are you?" I called out, frantically moving around the bottom level of the house. I didn't even see Gerard come in.

I ran upstairs, praying to whomever was up there that my guitar was still in one piece. Finally reaching the top level, I ran to my room and noticed it was the same as I had left it this morning. Letting out a relieved sigh, I followed my mom's angry grunts and screams, which lead me to her own bedroom. Walking in slowly, I realized she had destroyed all the family photos, both in the frames and the photo album.

"Mom, why are you doing this?" I asked, so quietly I almost thought she didn't hear me. Yet, her whirling around proved that she did.

"You left me!" she slurred, pointing a shaking finger in my direction. Her eyes were glazed, but I could see the hatred and the pain in them. "Just like your good for nothing father. Who is the bitch who took my only son away from me? Huh? Tell me!" She staggered over to me, wrapping her arms around me. The Jack Daniels scent was strong, and I did my best not to gag.

"I'm still here, Mom. I just got home late, that's all," I said, wrapping my arms around her waist. "Let's get you over to your bed so you can relax, okay?" I said, causing her to step away from me and look at me dazedly. She stiffly nodded before placing her arm around my shoulders, allowing me to help her to her bed.

Once she was comfortable, I removed her shoes and set them on the floor. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, I sent up a quick and silent prayer. "Why are you so good to me, Frankie?" Mom asked suddenly, causing me to look at her solemnly.

"You're my mother. I still have a strong hope that the woman who raised me before Dad left is still in there. I'm not going to give up on you. Not while I still have breath in me," I replied earnestly. I knew she wouldn't remember what I just said come morning, but I knew it would make her somewhat happy for the moment that I still very much cared for her. "Get some sleep, Mom. I'll see you in the morning." Nodding, she lied down completely and turned on her side, her back towards me.

Walking out of her room, I closed the door quietly. Leaning against the wall beside her door, I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, hoping to not cry. Once I felt like I could control my tears, I made my way downstairs to maybe find something light to munch on. At the end of the stairs, I nearly jumped when I saw Gerard sitting on the arm of the couch, a tired and worried look on his face. "I figured you had gone home," I said, walking over to him. He simply smiled before shaking his head.

"Wanted to be sure everything was okay before I did," he replied, running his hand through his hair. "How is she?" he went on, truly wondering.

"She's plastered, possibly even a little stoned, but she's as good as she'll ever be," I said, sounding as exhausted as I felt. "Ever since my dad left us, she's been doing whatever she can to get high or drunk. I'm hoping she doesn't find my guitar to pawn it off for a few bucks. It's really all I have to claim as my own."

Gerard remained silent for a moment, contemplating what I just said. I was honestly afraid he was going to walk away from me forever at the moment. Away from the craziness that was my day-to-day life for me, but he didn't budge. "Would you like me to stay for tonight? I wouldn't mind. I'll take whatever repercussions come my way."

"I wouldn't ask that of you, Gerard, no matter how tempting," I said, looking up at him. He gave me a tired, warm smile before saying anything.

"I insist. We're friends, right?"

"I hope so," I said, and I truly did hope that we were.

"Well, I believe we are. Aren't friends there to help friends in their time of need?" he asked, causing me to nod. "Then it's settled. You go get your cute little ass to bed, and I'll crash down here for the night. We'll deal with whatever comes our way in the morning together. Deal?"

"Deal," I said, feeling rather light about Gerard spending the night. Standing up, I started for the stairs, only to stop halfway there. Walking over to Gerard, who was now standing, I wrapped my arms around him, breathing in the husky, stale tobacco scent of his. "Thanks for this, Gerard. I owe you one."

"Don't mention it, Frank. I'm here for you," he replied, pressing a soft kiss to my temple. Letting out a contented sigh, I unhooked myself from him, wished him a goodnight, and made my way upstairs.

Once I was in my room, I realized that it was absolutely freezing up here. Knowing Mom would flip if I turned the heat on this early in the season, I called down to Gerard. "Way, get up here. I need your help with something." I heard a bit of shuffling, and was glad that it was only Gerard making his way upstairs. Once he was standing before me, he must have realized why I called him.

"Need a heater?" he asked softly, a humorous smile pulling at his lips. I nodded, smiling shyly and removing my jacket. He started getting comfortable as well, the only thing remaining was his pants. "I sleep well in the cold. I live in the basement at my house." Nodding, I crawled into bed first and soon felt the bed sink a bit more when Gerard joined me. Feeling his heat radiating off of him, I quickly dozed off, not having any fear for the coming morning. For the first time in a long time, I had a dreamless sleep.