Merci Pour Le Venin.
PROLOGUE - Me, Myself and the Monster.
--GERARD--
I woke up groggily; rubbing my eyes raw for what seemed the millionth time, in attempt to focus my blurring vision from last night’s alcohol consumption. I was surprised, yet disappointed that I didn’t get alcohol poisoning. Squinting, I peered into the sky, the sun only just rising, bright orange dominating the dark blue clouds tinged with magenta. The roaring 5am wind violated the black silhouette outside my window, forcing it to slap against the glass, its arms trying to get me, strangle me, suffocate me. I inched away from the tree at my window, the meth withdrawal ‘s paranoia threatening every sense in my body. I was suddenly terrified of everything; the clawing tree outside of my window, the sunrise coming closer to me to drown me in it’s glaring lights, myself and everything that could hurt me.
Maybe that’s how the demons in my head grew into this monstrous being inside my bones. Maybe that’s how the drug addiction started, the endless years of self-abuse, the anorexia, the fear…the fear of existence.
Madness eats you alive, from the core until you feed it so much, you’re a human skeleton somehow alive, your bones piercing through your paper thin skin, your eyes bloodshot and your body quivering under the desire to push that needle through your veins, the desire that cheats you into thinking it’s a need, that you need the meth, the cocaine, the weed, the heroin as if your life depended on it. But in truth, your life depends on you to do the opposite, and the painful truth was that I was the madness, and it was I, we could not be separated, we are all we have.
I woke up groggily; rubbing my eyes raw for what seemed the millionth time, in attempt to focus my blurring vision from last night’s alcohol consumption. I was surprised, yet disappointed that I didn’t get alcohol poisoning. Squinting, I peered into the sky, the sun only just rising, bright orange dominating the dark blue clouds tinged with magenta. The roaring 5am wind violated the black silhouette outside my window, forcing it to slap against the glass, its arms trying to get me, strangle me, suffocate me. I inched away from the tree at my window, the meth withdrawal ‘s paranoia threatening every sense in my body. I was suddenly terrified of everything; the clawing tree outside of my window, the sunrise coming closer to me to drown me in it’s glaring lights, myself and everything that could hurt me.
Maybe that’s how the demons in my head grew into this monstrous being inside my bones. Maybe that’s how the drug addiction started, the endless years of self-abuse, the anorexia, the fear…the fear of existence.
Madness eats you alive, from the core until you feed it so much, you’re a human skeleton somehow alive, your bones piercing through your paper thin skin, your eyes bloodshot and your body quivering under the desire to push that needle through your veins, the desire that cheats you into thinking it’s a need, that you need the meth, the cocaine, the weed, the heroin as if your life depended on it. But in truth, your life depends on you to do the opposite, and the painful truth was that I was the madness, and it was I, we could not be separated, we are all we have.
♠ ♠ ♠
~~ I mindlessly wrote this, desperately trying to clutch at any hint of start for this fan-fiction. This is the result...so let's see where this roller coaster ride (I'm so cheesy) into my possibly disastrous writing technique.I'd like to thank Lauzz for dealing with my self-conscious rambling and wondering if I should just delete the entire thing. (so blame her that I didn't!)
-Sazzie.
xo