Dear Kellin

I squished myself as far into the corner as I could. I listened for any sound of footsteps. I didn't know if they followed me in the bathroom. I was hoping they hadn't. I wasn't running from the police; I was running from The Perfs. (The Perfs is short for The Perfect Bitches With No Real Boobs.)

I heard the door open. I silently lifted my feet on the toilet, positioning them so I didn't fall. I hushed my breathing to listen for who was coming in the bathroom.

"Can you believe Reed's test? I heard he was strict, but damn. No need to flunk all of us 'cause we don't know 'dis shit."

"I know! Girl, you betta' not be flunkin' his class. You know what ya momma said."

"Mhm, I know, girl."

I sighed in relief when I heard it wasn't The Perfs. I could set my feet down and relax. I wasn't relieved about what one of the girls were doing in the stall next to mine. I wanted to reach over and give her what I had left in my emergency first-aid medicine kit, but I thought it would get me punched in the nose. I stood there, waiting out third period so I could finally have some peace.

Even though I knew The Perfs weren't in the bathroom, I wanted to stay quiet. In times of need, you never knew who you could or couldn't trust. Staying under cover was hard, especially when I felt the urge to sneeze. Everyone in my grade recognized my sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but my nose got the best of me. I let out a tiny squeak followed by an "achoo."

"Chelsea? Is that you?"

I cursed under my breath before unlocking the stall door to see my crush's sister standing there. I lifted my hand, waving.

"Hey, Nicole."

"What are you doing? Where have you been all period?"

Nicole was also my best friend who shared the same schedule as I. She knew me better than I knew myself, and she also knew about my fantasy world that existed around her brother. She was like the sister I never had.

"The Perfs."

Nicole rolled her eyes, sighing. "Really? You were hiding out in here from them?" I nodded. "I have to got to teach you some grown up skills." She grabbed my wrist, leading me out of the bathroom and into the crowded hallway. Third period was over. I adjusted the strap of my purse on my shoulder and followed Nicole to the cafeteria where we got to eat unknown sourced lunches and stale fries. I was more than ecstatic when the vending machines were put in. I went to the one nearest the door in case I needed a fast exit. I placed the dollar in, getting the bag of combos and went to the drink machine for a water. I went to the real food line where things were twice the regular price and got a slice of pizza. My lunch order was complete. I went to the table where Ling and Phillip were sitting and sat in one of the chairs in front of them.

"Everyday?" Phillip pointed to my lunch selection and - most likely - mentally compared it to his sandwich and baggie of wheat thins he brought from home. I shrugged, opening the bag of combos and taking a bite of one the cheese-stuffed pretzels.

Phillip was the genius, or well that's what I called him. He was also a comedian and a smart ass on an every day basis. He was the glue of our little group, the founder of the Fantastic Four (yes, that's what we called ourselves), the peanut to our butter, the jelly to our toast. He was the foundation. Without him, there would be no us. And plus, he had better social skills than any of us. He was like a brother to us who had a girlfriend that only I knew about because I caught the hint first. Nicole and Ling knew, too, but it took them longer to find out. When they did, it was easier to talk about relationships for Phillip because he didn't have to talk in code.

"Everyday, good sir."

"I heard about your hide-out in the lavatory. Why are you so afraid of them?"

Ling pointed to the three girls entering the cafeteria. They were all blonde, tan, and pretty much Barbie in high school. The only of them that I could tolerate was Chelsey, and it wasn't because of the name thing. I had to be her lab partner in chemistry and was the reason she passed that class. She was still a bitch, but a more bearable bitch than Miley and Paris.

"They almost got my journal."

"You brought it to school?" Ling arched her eyebrow. Ling's real name was Meiling, but we all called her Ling. She was the mother of the group. She made sure everyone had what they needed, and if we didn't, she would order us to get it. When she wasn't in mommy-mode, she was Linglet, the deejay. She inspired to be a girl version of Skrillex. Her beats were decent, but I haven't heard her bass drop yet.

"We weren't doing anything but watching videos on how debt can really fuck you over."

"We started talking about mortgage after you went to the bathroom," Nicole said as she took the seat next to me. Her tray was filled with junk food, which made Phillip give her the "You're Going to get Fat" look. Nicole shrugged a took a bite of her pizza.

"Chels, you really need to stop being so childish about them. They're the same as age as us. Maybe a little taller than you, but you've got more brains than them. Now, you're boob size is a diff-"

"Thank you, Nicole." I cut her off before she could finish the insult on my breasts. I was proud to have the breasts I had; they were a good size.

"Speaking of boobs," Phillip said with a mouthful of wheat thins. "I got to-"

"No, no!" Ling, Nicole, and I shot him down before he could finish his statement. I didn't want to know what he and his girlfriend did behind her bathroom doors.

We were silent as we ate, except for Ling. She was going on about how careful I needed to be with my journal. She knew about my letters. Nicole eventually found out, and Phillip has no idea. The last time I thought I lost my journal, I cried. I didn't want my letters to be found by anyone. I was on my last page in the book, so I would finally get to send it out. I just needed one more letter. Even they knew, I didn't think Ling or Nicole knew how important the letters were. They were to someone that helped me in more ways than he knew. They were the key to letting him know what went on in at least one of his fans lives.

"What's so important about this journal anyway?" Phillip said as he sipped his Vitamin Water. Ling and Nicole looked at me, making me look up from my pizza.

"What?" I said with a mouthful of combos.

"You haven't told him?" Ling asked.

"Told me what?"

"Chelsea, he's like your closest brother," Nicole chimed.

"I am technically her only brother. And what hasn't she told me?"

My eyebrow furrowed at what he said. "But I'm an only-"

"I know," Phillip said. "Now tell me what I don't know."

I felt like it was the beginning of July again, when I first told Ling. I reached into my purse, finding leather-covered book and pulling it out with both hands. I held it close to me, locking eyes with Phillip. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. I was nervous, and Ling and Nicole staring at me wasn't helping. Phillip eyed my journal. He didn't know it was my journal, but I figured he would piece it together from the previous conversation.

I cleared my throat before processing my thoughts. I sighed, and looked down at the book. "This is my journal." I felt everyone in the cafeteria staring at me. It wasn't everyday that you told one of your closest friends what you did almost everyday. "This encases the most important things in my life right now. This book is sacred. It contains my letters."

"Letters?"

I nodded. "Letters."

"For you or someone else?"

"Someone else."

"Who?"

This was the hardest part. This was the part where I thought Ling and Nicole would think I was crazy. I didn't want to say the name aloud, so I put my journal back in my purse and searched for my notebook and a pen. I found them together and tore a corner of the first page out. I wrote down the name of the person and handed it to Phillip. He looked at me and mouthed "Kellin Quinn?"

I nodded, taking the last combo into my mouth and a sip of water.



"I'm home," I called to the kitchen where I smelled the spices of the fajitas. I knew my mom was cooking my favorite. Something had to have happened.

"Hey," I said as I sat myself on the counter top of the island in the kitchen. My mom was rinsing her hands in the sink. She smiled up at me.

"Fajitas, si?"

I nodded. "Delicioso, Mama!"

I heard the doorbell ring. It was a special occasion. Maybe I was finally meeting her boyfriend that she had told me about. My mom's eyes reverted to the front door. She smiled and wiped her hands on the apron tied around her waist. She walked to the door. I heard it open and a childish squeal from my mom. I laughed, shaking my head. It was a man.

She walked into the kitchen with a familiar man following her. I knew him the minute I saw him.

"Mr. White?"