In the Shadows...

I laid on the hood of my car just staring at the stars, I had a beer in one hand and my gun in the other hand. I had gotten into my car and drove away, when I finally stopped I noticed that I was over four hours away from Dean, Sam and Elena. Once Dean stated that he knew something was different, once he said those words in the hospital my whole body shivered and screamed for me to run.

I closed my eyes and took a sip of my beer.

"I did not raise a coward Rose." I heard my dads voice ring through my ears, I didn't open my eyes in fear that he was standing next to me.

I knew he was dead, I watched him die that night. Crowley had murdered him without a second thought, he did it right in front of my very own eyes. I tightened my closed eyes as the vivid image ran tits course through my memory, the one person I hated most in this world was him.

Crowley.

"You better go back and keep an eye on your sister!" I ignored his voice and brought the beer to my lips once more.

"Go back? right; go back to a sister that probably see's me as a monster; then go back to the Winchester brothers, one wants me dead and the other; well the other will side with the one that wants me dead. So no, I wont go back. Fuck off whisper." I mumbled as I took another sip of my beer and twirled my gun around on the hood of the car.

The image before my father was killed slid through my memory, we were sitting on the front porch with the dog; laughing about something that rose had did earlier in the day. She had slid of the bed taking everything on the bed with her, she landed on the floor with a thud and instead of crying she laughed.

I rubbed my face with my arm wiping away the tears that escaped involuntary.

"Fuck you dad!" Sitting up I threw the beer bottle as hard as I possibly could, a few seconds later I heard the glass shatter on the pavement.

The man always had a way to get inside of my head, even after he was killed. Sometimes it felt like he was looking out for me and other times it felt like he was trying to bust my chops; just wanting to piss me off.

I heard the swoosh and didn't hesitate to put my gun in the persons face, at the end of my barrel stood Castiel who stood staring at me like an idiot.

"Uh, I was told to tell you something." His voice was plain but deep at the same time.

"I don't care what Dean, Sam or Elena have to say-"

"Its from your dad, he said get off your lazy ass and take care of Elena. Just because you are different on the inside doesn't doesn't mean anything, your still a big sister and your still his daughter. So go back now or feel his wrath." Castiel looked around and then nodded at me as if he said everything correctly, I folded my arms and sent him a glare.

"Asshole!" I shoved my gun into the holster on my leg and got into my car.

Slamming my hands into the wheel a few times I yelled, cursed and punched my ceiling as if it would help. Yet instead it made me feel worse; I didn't jump or nudge when Castiel popped into my car with out a word. Instead I started the car and drove back towards the hospital.

"Why are you so mad at your father?" I heard Castiel ask.

"Don't speak or I will kick you the fuck out of my car." I pressed my foot down harder on the gas and my car roared to life as it sped down the highway.

-Three hours later-

"I can sense your anger Rose, you should calm-"

I slammed my foot on the breaks causing my car to come to a quick rough stop.

"Get the hell out of my car." I pointed to the door.

"Sorry, but I was given orders to make sure you get back to your sister." He replied plainly.

My knuckles became white as my grip tightened on the wheel, Castiel had been asking me the most random and ridiculous questions since he had gotten into my car three hours ago. How I knew Dean, What our connection was, questions that made me want to shoot him the in face.

"The next word out of that big mouth of yours angel, I will stab you!" I started driving once more towards the hospital.

"Okay."

I rolled my eyes at his word, he was the dumbest angel I have ever met. Wait, he was the only angel I have ever met and he was pretty fucking stupid. Or maybe he just played dumb to fool everyone, angels were slick I heard.

---

The hospital was filled with people rummaging around, some people where sitting in the waiting rooms while others were just walking around out of pure boredom. Castiel and I were making our way back to Deans room, once I got there I was greeted by an angry Dean.

"Where the hell is my coffee! Takes you eight hours to get fucking coffee!" I blinked as I walked into the room and sat on the chair, I couldn't tell if he was more mad about the coffee or me leaving.

I didn't say anything as Dean rampaged on about Coffee and me leaving, why I walked in with Cas and not my sister. That my sister and Sam went looking for me, but sent Cas to go and retrieve them. I had blocked him out the moment he started to talk, the one thing with Dean was that once he started talking at times he just would not stop.

"Are you listening to me!?" I felt the cloth his my face causing me to jump.

"what, oh, no I didn't hear a thing you said." I grabbed the cloth and handed it back to him with out another word.

I watched his eyes scan my body as if he was searching for something, something he would not find and something he would not be able to see.

"Give me time, time to take this in. Take what you are, in." He sounded so sad and sincere but something inside me bubbled with anger.

"What I am? I am still Rose! I'm just part demon, part Crowley; I hate this, you have no idea how I hate myself!" My voice rose as I stood up suddenly and walked to the window.

I had no idea what caused me to flip like that, I had no idea why I said that and I had no idea why I was still standing in that room. But what I did know, is that I was sad and hurt.