A Blessing or a Curse

Chapter Nineteen: Leave Me Behind
‘Dear Princess,
Im sorry. I did something really bad. You already know that I guess.
Im going away for a while. I’ll be back for you. You have a right to know.
But right now…I’m not man enough to face you just yet.
I Guess Im more of a coward than I thought I was. Im so sorry.
What I did is my deepest regret and probably will be for the rest of my life.
The guilt is killing me. I need to get my shit together. Give me some time.
Don’t worry. I’ll tell you one day. I don’t expect you to forgive me. I really don’t.
If you hate me forever I understand completely and you can beat/kill me, whatever.
Do whatever you need to me when I get back to release your anger. I deserve it.
I want you to know none of this is your fault. Never for a second feel guilty.
Don’t feel this was your doing because it was not. It really, honestly wasn’t.
While Im gone I have a few friends keeping an eye on you to make sure your safe.
Don’t do anything stupid and don’t get into trouble. Please. Im begging you.
Go on with your life and act as if I were never a part of it.
It really hurts my heart to know what I did to you. But I lo care about you soo much.
Stay safe. Stay beautiful.

Carter.

He’s gone. He’s really gone…
When I found the note on my dresser I didn’t think it’d have the power to rip out my heart and crumple it up in pieces. I knew he’d made a mistake but how bad could it possibly be? How did it affect my life so much? Did I even know him when he made it?
I collapsed on my bed and brought my knees to my chest. I never felt so alone before. The one person whose suppose to always be by my side and be there for me no matter what and have my back and stay with me was gone. For God knows how long. My parents left. My brother left. Now so did Carter.
He meant so much to me. I don’t understand why he’d leave without explanation. Without a valid explanation. Didn’t the bastard know how much I liked him? Didn’t he know that if he left he was taking my fucking heart with him? Didn’t he know that the bond we had is so strong, so incredibly strong that I don’t know how long I’ll last without him?
He hasn’t even marked me yet! Or mated with me! He just became my official boyfriend three days ago and now he’s gone!
What a selfish coward! He was to pussy to man up and tell me what he did so he runs away? Who does that? If you can’t face the consequences of your actions don’t fucking do them. Simple.
I bolted down the stairs and grabbed my house phone and dialed Ashelle’s number. After two rings she responded.
“Ash…” I choked out. “I need you…”

~
“What the fuck is up with this guy and his mysteries?!” Ashelle cried out.
“I don’t know…” I mumbled, my voice coming out in a tone much sadder than I intended. I couldn’t help it. He was gone. My mate was really gone.
I saw her look up at me a look of pity in her eyes and she brought her arm around me and enclosed me in a hug. I breathed heavily and closed my eyes my lower lip trembling slightly. I didn’t want to cry over a guy I just met. Then again he wasn’t some guy. He was my mate, my soulmate, my other half, my one and true only. Now he’s gone.
My wolf and I have grown so attached to him in such a short course of time; it was horrible knowing he was gone. For God knows how long.
“It’ll be okay. He said he’d be back.” Her voice was in a low but comforting whisper, but was laced with pity. I didn’t care though. I needed comfort at the moment.
“But when? How long will he be gone for?” I asked more to myself than Ashelle.
She sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know. But you’re mates. He won’t be gone too long. Especially having you for a mate, he won’t resist more than a month.”
A month? Damn, a whole 30 days he may be gone. Maybe even more. I hope he gets over whatever the fuck he did soon, because more than anything I just wish I could be in his arms. His strong, tattooed arms that made me feel so safe and secure.
“You know what’ll make you feel better?” her voice rose with an excited tone.
“What?”
“Shopping! Forever 21 and Hollister are having amazing sales on tops and I have a 45% coupon for Pacsun, plus I heard Sephora just stocked up on some great new things!” She squealed.
I gave her a small smile. As much as I adored shopping with all my heart it really didn’t feel like it’d help the situation. I was missing my jackass of a mate far too much to spoil myself. “I don’t know…I really can’t…”
“Oh come on Loli! You’ve been saving up for sooo long now, you have like $700! You started saving in like September? What better time to blow that money on a shopping spree?”
She was right; I’ve been saving up for months now just so I could go on a huge shopping spree. Things like babysitting local neighborhood kids, doing chores around the house, shoveling old people’s snow in the winter, house sitting and more have been paying off. I had over $700 cash saved up in a box under my bed.
“I’m grounded…” I remembered
“Oh shit yeah…” I had explained everything from getting kidnapped to Carter leaving and all. “Wait, which reminds me…how does this Jack know about you and Carter even? I thought only me and that yummy-licious guy who was Carter’s bestie knew.”
I shrugged. “I have no clue. I don’t think Carter does either!”
We were silent for a moment, Ashelle not knowing what to say, obviously.
“This is very confusing…”
“And tiring…” I added.
“So how about my earlier offer? Shopping?”
“If we can convince my aunt and uncle.”

~

After two hours of begging my aunt and uncle with Ashelle they agreed to let me go to Ashelle’s house unaware I’d be going to the mall. We stopped by Ashelle house and I changed into a black crop top that had the word “Dope” written in white on it, destroyed high-waisted shorts, black gladiator sandals, an anchor belly button ring in my navel, and aviator glasses on. My hair was straight and stopped right under my small, B-cup bust and my makeup was simple; concealer for simple blemishes and eyeliner with some mascara. Ashelle was dressed a bit simpler, she had a blue bandeau and a black tank top with Hollister jean shorts, gold gladiator sandals and heart shaped aviator glasses and her hair was in a small blond topknot on top of her head. Her makeup was done simply as well.
After changing we walked from Ashelle house to the mall which was a short 10 minute walk. In our town kids usually walked places and it was no biggie.

Right now Ashelle and I just walked out of Sephora and made our way to Forever 21.
“What do you think of this?” Ashelle asked putting the shirt to her body to show me what it’d look like on her. It was a crochet grey and green floral top that was baggy and very ugly.
“You can buy it if you want, but don’t expect me to associate with you or even acknowledge your presence after you purchase that shitty turd shirt.” I told her honestly.
She sighed and placed the hideous shirt back on the rack. “What do you think of this?” She picked up a tight, peplum black pencil skirt that was studded on the bottom.
“Cute, how much?”
“15.”
“Get it, I wanna borrow it sometime.”
After spoiling ourselves Ashelle and I sat on a bench in the mall resting our feet. I bought makeup from Sephora, two tops, a batman sweater, two bikinis, a pair of jeans, leggings, Hollister shorts and flip flops, two beanies, a maxi skirt, a hobo bag, an owl belly button ring, a pair of TOMS and a few accessories, spending a bit over $300, I was satisfied.
We were sitting and talking about school for a moment until a scent of cinnamon filled my nose that was all too familiar. My head shot up to see a Latin, dark-haired beauty walk out of A’GACI, bags in her manicured hands and her glossy brown hair bouncing gently on her shoulders. Catalina.
“Oh my God.” I gasped.
“What?”
“That’s Catalina.” I pointed toward the direction she was walking in.
“Who?” Ashelle gave me an odd look.
Without thinking I shoved my bags to Ashelle and mumbled for her to hold them and that I’d be right back and ran after Catalina.
“Catalina! Catalina!” I jogged up to her.
She turned on her heels and her sky blue eyes widened slightly and an awkward and shy smile formed on her wide, pink lips. “Oh…hi…Lolita.”
“Catalina, um hey.” I didn’t want to jump at her automatically and attack her with questions about where her cousin had gone.
“How you been?” she smiled more gracefully at me. Her smile was so perfect. Thick, pink lips curved up revealing her rows of perfectly straight and white teeth. She and her cousin are absolutely stunning. What a gene pool.
“Um, I’ve had better days.” I admitted. “And you?”
“Aw, I’m sorry to hear that…” she gave me a look of pity…or guilt. “Mine is going good.”
“Look, the reason I came over to speak with you is to ask…where is Carter?” I blurted out quite rudely. I was fed up with the small talk and I needed to ask what I really intended to talk to her about.
She sighed; I assume she knew this is what I was coming for. “He’ll be back soon Lolita, give him time.”
“He’s my mate! Catalina…I can’t be without him for too long! I hadn’t seen him in three days and I find a note this morning on my dresser. I don’t understand! What is he hiding?”
“It’s not my place to say.” She mumbled through her thick accent. “I should go.”
“No!” I grabbed her tanned arm in my tiny pale hand. “Where is he?”
“I can’t tell you.”
“When will he be back?”
“Soon, I can assure you that. Soon.”
I sighed defeated. “I miss him.”
“I’m sorry…I truly am.” She spoke so formal. Probably since her homeland was Brazil, when she learned English she learned the prim proper way to speak it.
“Is there a way I can contact him? Please, anything?” I begged.
She looked at me with another look of pity and snatched a piece of paper out of her bag and scribbled a number in red ink and handed it to me.
‘934-871-2403’ “Call this number. I can’t say or do anything else. I must go now. Adeus.”
She turned on her heels and walked away. A small smile formed on my lips “Thank you!”

~

After that I rushed Ashelle and I home. When I returned home I hid my bags in my closet and grabbed the house phone and dialed the number. After three rings I hung up out of fear.
What would I say to him? What will he say to me? Will he be upset that I called? Will this just end badly? Would he even pick up?
I sighed and placed my phone on my bed and laid flat on my back and stared at my ceiling.
What’s happening in my life?