A Blessing or a Curse

Chapter Twenty: Phone Calls Can Change a Lot

It was the very last night of Spring Break and a week since Carter left. My heart ached more and more and my wolf became more and more impatient longing for our asshole of a mate. Ashelle came over almost every day to keep my mind occupied but so much was going on it was nearly impossible to wrap my mind on anything else but my mate and his bullshit.
It was nine o’ clock at night and I was on my bed my house phone in my hand and the number Catalina gave to me in the other. I never mustered up the courage to call him. I didn’t have a clue what to say and I was out of my mind petrified. I felt if I dialed the number he’d answer and reject me and that’d be the end of that. I liked him way too much to lose him.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in and out and mumbled fuck it and dialed the number.
It rang eight times before going to voicemail; the mailbox had not been set up. I sighed and let out a frustrated groan. Just then the phone began to ring.

I stared at the loud, vibrating phone in my hand and waited a moment before answering. “H-hello?”
“Who’s this?” his voice was low and deep, I recognized it to be my Carter’s voice. His heavenly voice.
“I-it’s me…” I said just above a whisper. “Lolita.”
“Lolita?” he sounded stunned. “H-how’d you get my number? Why are you calling? Didn’t you get my note?”
His tone was harsh and sharp, cutting through my heart. “What are you calling for?”
“I-I…umm” Like I predicted, I was at a loss for words.
“Are you okay? Did something happen to you?” his tone became kinder and softer.
“Where are you?” I thanked God my voice sounded sturdier then before.
I heard him sigh on the other line. He didn’t say anything for a moment, and neither did I. “Why does it matter?”
“Carter I miss you.” I admitted.
“I miss you too princess.” He sighed again “But right now I’m trying to clean up a mess I made.”
“Is this the same mess that you won’t tell me about? The one that made you leave?” I asked.
“Yeah…”
“Oh.” I didn’t want to even bother asking. He wouldn’t tell me. I knew he wouldn’t. But I tried anyway.
“Tell me.”
“No, I can’t.”
“Ugh!” I groaned. “When will you be back?”
“Soon.”
“Give me a date.” I demanded. I wanted to know exactly when he’d come back. I needed to know.
“June. I’ll be back sometime in June.” He replied.
It was May 15th, so in 15 days or more. Damn, that’s a long time. That’s a really long time, not soon at all.
“You should come back sooner. I could get hurt again.” I said.
“I have people protecting you don’t worry.” He said calmly.
“What if they don’t do a good job at protecting me? Hm? Who is anyway?” I retorted.
“How’d you get my number?” he asked completely ignoring my questions. “Did I give it to you?”

I debated telling him the truth or not for a second. I didn’t want to start an issue between him and Catalina, but then again I didn’t wanna lie. I mean if she really wasn’t supposed to she wouldn’t have. I mean, it’s not like I asked for it. She just gave it to me.

“I bumped into Catalina at the mall.” I admitted honestly.
He scoffed on the other line and mumbled something incoherent under his breath, probably cussing in Portuguese. “She would do that.” I couldn’t tell if he was upset or not. “She never wanted me to leave you.”
“But you did.” I said. “You wanted to leave me.”
“No, of course not!” he responded quickly. “I just needed to figure shit out. How I can tell you the truth. How I can make it up to you. This is literally eating me inside out. I just wanna press rewind and start all over again with my life.”
I chuckled dryly. “Oh, Carter don’t we all?”
“Some more than others…” he mumbled, most likely to himself than me.
What the hell did this guy do? Oh my gosh. I got more and more anxious and impatient and curious by the second. But he was so tenacious and persistent about not telling me. Apparently whatever it was affected me in more than one way.

“Maybe…” he started but didn’t finish.
“Maybe what?” I asked
“Maybe you should forget I ever existed.” His voice was dull sad. “Maybe this was a mistake. You should go on, find yourself a guy who-”
“Don’t talk like that!” I wanted my statement to come out as a sure and strong yell but it sounded much more like desperate plea and whisper.
“Lolita-”
“Don’t Lolita me! You won’t leave me! Whatever it is you did, I may be able to forgive you. At least try. Please, don’t leave me like this.”
“Lolita? Remember when I told you losing you was my biggest fear? It was the day I last saw you. When I took you to the Drive-IN movie.” He reminded me.
I remembered it was when he confided me about his grandmother and I confided him about my parents and made the situation and secrets he was hiding much worse. “Yeah, I remember.”
“I meant it. That losing you was one of the scariest things that could happen to me. I don’t wanna lose you. Ever. We known each other a short time, a little over a month and I’m already so attached to you, I like you so much. I need you with me. But the truth will only tear us apart.”
“You don’t know that for sure.” I argued back, my voice defeated.
“I do.” He said. “Look, I’ve got to go. Stay safe. I l-” he cut himself off but quickly regained his composure “I miss you. I’ll be back soon.”
And with that he cut the line.