Behind My Mask

The next morning I was woken up by the light hitting my face, and with one of the worst headaches I have had in a while; The tiniest sound was like a bullet through my head, and any sharp movements would just be the death of me. It took a while to adjust to my surroundings, and trying to remember what had actually happened.
I remembered that it started out as a pretty decent sleepover, but somehow it ended up as this; I didn’t expect do get drunk in my first sleepover, but since I have never been to one before I couldn’t really judge.

Most of the events were coming back to me; when I remembered the dare between me and Vic my eyes nearly popped. I don’t remember what had come over me because, after all, it was Vic’s dare not mine, and I had just taken the lead as if it was a perfectly normal thing to do. Then again, if he ever does ask me questions about that I can simply answer it was a dare. That excuse had calmed me down quite a bit, making me wonder just why I had such a reaction to the memory.
I lifted my head slightly, just enough to not make the pain worse, and looked around for the others, to see in what state they were.

It seemed that I was the first to wake up as I found Tony on the floor with Mike lying on top of him, and then I noticed Jaime also on the floor, but on a pile of pillows. When I turned my head to one of the sides I noticed Vic lying next to me, but it didn’t really bother me since we were fully clothed, and it just seemed normal to me.

He stirred slightly but didn’t wake; I couldn’t help but admire his features even with the excruciating pain in my head. I still couldn’t come to grips about what had happened yesterday even if it was forced, yet I didn’t feel disgusted by it in any form, I actually found it quite enjoyable.

Another shock of pain went through my head as I heard a phone ring, informing that someone had received a text. I inhaled sharply and winced, pressing my palm to my head to try to soothe the pain.
Though, the ring didn’t seem to affect just me; everyone else stirred slightly as well, and it even woke Tony, who as soon as he woke up started groaning and swearing lightly. Actually he was talking in Spanish; I’m just guessing he was swearing.

With the strength that he had, Tony pushed Mike of from him, creating a fairly loud thud that was followed by a string of curses coming from Mike who was almost shouting. Vic had woken up next; looking confused, and might I say adorable, as ever.
Jaime was the last to wake up and he didn’t look as affected as all of us. Noticing our condition he had walked off somewhere, and shortly returned with aspirin and four water bottles, handing one to each of us.

After about half an hour without us moving another inch, we started to gain back some life.
“Hey guys, a friend of mine just told me that he is having a party tonight at his, you wanna go?” Tony told us after he had checked his phone. With the state I was in at the moment I didn’t want to do anything, but I could never say no to a party, so I simply agreed with everyone else.
I have been to countless parties even with me just being 15. Many people frowned upon that, but they didn’t have to know that I was that young, fake ID’s were invented for a reason.
I had also managed to get my hands on a fake driver’s licence, which let me get away with the fact that I was driving at the age of 15.
The world is one fucked up place – I tell that to myself nearly every day as I continued living my fucked up life. Many say that I should be happy for what I got, but what’s the point in life when you are not needed and that no one would care if you disappeared from the face of the earth?

We had spent the majority of the day at Tony’s refreshing ourselves; we went to the swimming pool, and all of them said to get nude, but I got off with the excuse of having major self esteem problems, and so had Vic.
When it was closer to the time we had to leave I had given everyone a lift home so they could get changed, and drop off the stuff they had originally brought to Tony’s.

I myself just changed in new and clean clothes after I had a refreshing shower, and then left to pick them up again since I had no idea where I was going and they needed a ride.
I still hadn’t completely recovered from my hangover, but I was feeling much better now to say the least.

--- Switching to 3rd person-----

Music could be heard before the house could be seen; luminous lights were shooting in every direction and masses of people were pooling in and out of the house. People could be seen making out and even shagging on the lawn. Some were already passed out in awkward looking positions, and many were still arriving.
It was surprising that the neighbours hadn’t called the police on them yet.
Soon the five friends were part of the chaos, not wasting any time to intoxicate their bodies to enjoy the sensations that were given to them from the toxins. They were quickly absorbed in the noise and carelessness that each and every person in the room possessed.
Everyone was enjoying themselves to the fullest with half of their consciousness knocked out from them, including Vic; he was particularly wasted to the point he could no longer think, no matter how hard he tried.

It had been a few hours since they had arrived and Kellin had found himself underneath Vic in one of the unoccupied bedrooms. He didn’t have that much to drink so he at least understood what he was doing, but Vic was completely gone and it was clearly visible.
Kellin didn’t remember how he got into this mess, but he does know that he doesn’t want this to happen, not in this kind of situation when the other person is driven purely on their desire, completely oblivious and unable to control their own actions.

Kellin had tried to talk some sense into him, but he knew it was useless, so he ended up using brute force, pushing Vic off from him and trying to run out of the room without falling. It proved to be quite a challenge when everything around you was spinning; Kellin may have not been drunk, but he was high as fuck.

Vic had stayed in the bed, unable to process what was going on around him; he couldn’t control his body and really do anything. Lying in the bed had caused him to fall asleep, and this time the position was fairly comfortable.

Kellin, on the other hand, had managed knock himself out; considering how high he was it wasn’t exactly hard. One strong hit to the head and he was out. Though, he had tripped and banged his head against a wall, which had him out in seconds, but there was no serious damage; there wasn’t going to be any bruises or cuts, he was just simply unconscious.

Jaime was having a game of twister, where every time you lost you would either have to strip or take a shot of whatever drinks were available. He was more than slightly tipsy, and he had lost a few items of clothing, but there were people around him that were down to their underwear and barely able to stand, who were still going.

Tony was still holding strong, only slightly wavering but mostly he was under control, talking to some of his old friends that had invited him here in the first place. They were old friends because they had been thrown out of the school, reasons unknown. They all claimed that they chose to leave, but no one believed them.

Mike was just chilling with some girls. Before coming to the party he had gotten on the mindset that he was going to be the responsible friend and designated driver. Every time they went to a party they had decided a long time ago that one of them was going to stay sober, and this time it was Mike’s turn. Though he didn’t really mind; sure he wanted to completely loose himself, but there was also the fun part where every one of his friends had a hangover and he was the only one feeling good. He always took advantage of his vulnerable friends; before giving them aspirin he would torture them, making them regret their actions just a little bit more than they already did.

----- Back to Kellin’s POV -------

Once again I was greeted with pain, there was less of it today, but I was also feeling overwhelmingly low; it must be from the drugs I took because they had taken me to a whole new level of high.
I didn’t understand where I was because the whole setting was new to me; I guessed that it wasn’t the house where the party was held at because it was far to clean and it looked nothing like the rooms there, so I just assumed I was at one of my friends houses.

I could feel some weight shifting next to me, followed by light groaning. I turned my head to find out that it was Vic; if this would have happened a week ago I would have probably been freaked, and if I’m honest I still am slightly. Out of all the places where I could be right now I had to be next to him. He seemed to always be there, slowly involving himself in my life whether I liked it or not. It had become obvious to me after the dare that he was slowly worming his way towards my heart, but the thing was that he wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary. It was me; I was the one making everything up in my head, and just inviting him in. This has to stop; I have to stop my imagination creating false hope that I might someday have a reason for living, that I might one day feel something, that someone might actually need me.

Those were all lost dreams that I once had, and I keep pretending that I still have hope. I have to finally open my eyes to the cruel world, to my life. I had found out long ago that no one cares; it’s as simple as that. Everyone is too absorbed in themselves to care about others; there is no room in their self-absorbed hearts for anyone else. For me to have any chance of surviving I would have to rely completely on myself; if I dare to let anyone in my heart I was sure once they had the chance they would completely crush it, and enjoy themselves whilst doing it.
No, I wouldn’t make such a mistake twice.