If You Ever Come Back

FLASHBACK - Age 14 - Patrick

And another win! Playoffs for sure! I embraced my team mates and scream a few 'fuck yeahs' went up from the group of boys I've spent most of my life with.

We skated off and into our locker room. I looked around for my best friend Andrew, but when I saw him he was standing shirtless with Rachel Sullivan. Her brunette hair was is a braid laying on her left shoulder. She was wearing a Buffalo Sabres jersey and she must have custom ordered it because it was number 57 and there is no one currently playing for the Sabres with the number 57. But that's also Andrew's number and the last name MILLER is on the back of it. Our logo is also the same as the Sabres.

I looked at Patrick in envy, Rachel wouldn't keep her lips off of him. I looked at her outfit, jeans and the jersey. Man, Andrew has it good. A nice girl who isn't a slut. I've never even had a girlfriend since Alison left. I had the time of my life with her and now if I were to see her again it wouldn't be the same. I've opened up a lot I think, but I can't just move on from it. There were so many things I should have said when I had the chance; I really took it for granted.

Looking around the locker room I saw that almost all of the guys had girls with them by now. Some were sluts, some I knew and some looking like genuinely nice girls.

There was a tap on my shoulder and still in full gear I turned around to see Alexa McGovern. She used to be a big butch, but she's softened ever since she lost all of her friends in a social incident last year. She's pretty nice now, and she's also gorgeous, long black hair is tied up in a bun and her eyeliner drawing me in to her deep blue eyes that are crystal clear. She's tall, shorter than me now because I'm still wearing my skates, but when I take them off she might have me beat. Her skin is flawless and her smile is beautiful, white striaght teeth and she had never even had to get braces! Her voice is defeated but she puts on a bright smile and said, "Nice win tonight!"

I smiled back, "Thanks. And thanks for being here to support. I know you don't have... Anyone here tonight. But it's okay, neither do I."

She said, "I've noticed. But word on the street is that you guys are going for pizza, with your girls."

I broke into a smile, "Yes Alexa, you can come with me. I'll change and be out in a few minutes."

*

She sat in close to me. She is really a ghost of her former self. Last year she would have been ALL over this. Especially since her old clique is here with us. Alexa is sitting with me being very reserved while her old group of friends make a scene and get everyone's attention.

She says quietly, "Does this mean anything?"

Does it? I smiled at her and said, "Hey, I don't know. Probably. You're kinda pretty you know."

She looked down at her hands and said, "Oh thanks. I'm really sorry about... Everything. I was really rude to you and that other girl for a really long time for like no reason. So I'm sorry."

Oh yeah. If there was anyone who received Alexa's bitchyness it was poor Alison Lees. I thought about her for a minute, wondering if she was as outcasted in Vancouver as she was when she lived here. Alexa is the new Alison, the odd man out.

Alexa voiced my thoughts, "And I feel really bad about picking on her. Because I am her now. She didn't have any friends and now I don't either. The worst part is I sat alone at the practice before this game and all my old friends did the same thing to me that we did to Alison. I sat alone and they mocked me and threw half eaten food at me, and then poured soda down my shirt. I feel so bad."

I remember embracing Alison that day and calling Alexa and Company a bitchy organization. She cried on my shoulder.

So did Alexa. She broke down and even though we've been dating for 35 minutes, I kissed her head and told her I loved her.

•Present Day•Alison•

I lay under the covers of my bed, trying to fall asleep when suddenly the door opened and a sliver of light fell over me. "James?" I hissed into the mostly darkness.

"I'm right here, it's okay." He said, and I could tell he was sober. He was probably the DD (designated driver) for the night.

He changed quickly into soft pants and a floppy white tee shirt, crawling in next to me, pulling me close so our faces were almost touching. "Are you coming on the roadtrip? I know Vero is.

I smiled and nodded, "A stop in Vancouver and a stop in Buffalo. I wouldn't miss it!"

James said, "True, but we have Chicago too. The strangest thing is that for the game in Buffalo, the Blackhawks team will be there too. I'm not sure why, it's screwy scheduling."

My stomach fell when he said that. Chicago? That means Patrick....

I just kissed his nose and said, "I am so glad to be coming with you. It's been a while since I came on a road trip with you."

He smiled and told me, "I love you so much Ali."

I love hearing him say that, "I love you more James."

He pulled me into him as close as I could possibly get. "You are beautiful." He whispered into my hair and I grinned inwardly, not replying. Soon after, his breathing evened out and he was asleep.

I flipped myself over so we weren't spooning anymore and I was facing him. He looks happy when he's asleep. I wanted so badly to touch his face but I was afraid he would wake up. I pressed my back up against him again and fell asleep.

I woke up, and we were in the exact same position. His breath on my neck was giving me chills. The clock said 7:27, and Iwas grateful that James didn't have practice today. I jumped when James stirred, not expecting his sudden movement change.

He stretched out as much as he could for our small space. "Good morning Ali." He said, his voice groggy with sleep. Our lips met for a kiss and his arms made their way around my waist.

"So, what's on the agenda for the day James?" I asked him, trying to escape his grasp.

But he's 10x stronger than me and I can't escape.

I giggle as he tickled my sides.

He kissed me again, "So, should I go make some breakfast?" He asked.

I scoffed, "You? Sorry, I don't want our house burned down James." He made a face and took my hand. One of my favorite things about our relationship is that it can go from sexual to sensual in the blink of an eye.

James sat down at the table, but soon moved to the couch. I made him bacon and eggs, joining him in front of the TV. He was watching a hockey game between the New Jersey Devils and the Minnesota Wild. "How do the Devils like Zach Parise?"

James laughed and said, "David Clarkson treats him like a punching bag." I giggled and he added, "Which is bad news for Zach because that dude has quite a punch."

I settled down to watch the game with James. "Only four games left. We have the roadtrip which is Buffalo, Vancouver and Chicago and then we are going to come back here to play the Devils. I know their style of play, but Ilya Kovalchuk always gives me new ideas on how to improve my own play."

"Where are they in the standings right now?"

James replied, "They are fourth so we'll play them if the standings don't move around too much in these last four games left to play."

I rested my head on his shoulder. "I don't think anyone is going to move anywhere. And as good as you may think Kovalchuk is, well, you're going to beat the shit out of his team."

He kissed my head and we continued to watch the game.

**************************************************************************

I sat next to Vero on the plane. "Not many girls coming this time." She observed. That's the truth, we're the only ones here. "So we land in Buffalo at 2:30! That's plenty of time for you to show me around your old neighborhood! What's to see? What do you wish to see?"

I gave it a thought. I've always wanted to show Vero where I spent the first half of my life. I remember some small shops in the little downtown area, the old pizza place the hockey players would eat at, my old school and more. I want to show her everything. "If the game is at 7:30, you and I can go through the town and some big malls I know about and then after the guys practice you, me, James and Marc could go down my old street, if you're interested." I suggested.

Vero hugged me and said, "That sounds brilliant!"

The rest of the flight, we talked about my twelve year tenure in Buffalo, New York. It's sad to talk about, I was so popular when we moved to Canada. I told Vero all about Alexa McGovern and now she would have bitch slapped her senseless. Veronique laughed at that last part. I talked to her about how I had to just play with my sister and Erica, Patrick's sister. I'm leaving Patrick out of my story for now.
**************************************************************************

Vero and I had a blast shopping and laughing and eating lunch at this cute little place in Buffalo that my parents used to take Patrick and I. Still leaving out the Patrick part.

Suddenly Vero pulled out her phone and answered it. I hadn't een heard it ring. "Salut Marc! Je ne m'attendais pas à un appel de votre part, pas encore! Alison et moi-même sommes en train de déjeuner à cet endroit dans sa vieille ville tout à l'heure."
(Hi Marc! I didn't expect a call from you just yet! Alison and I are having lunch at this place in her old town just now.)

I didn't understand what she was saying, so I just went back to finishing my salad.

"C'est génial! Je suis content pour toi ma chérie! Il suffit de nous rencontrer dans ce café et nous pouvons aller à la vieille maison d'Alison et de la rue! Bon, à bientôt. Je t'aime!"
(That's great! I'm happy for you darling! Just meet us at this cafe and we can go to Alison's old house and street! Okay, see you soon. I love you!)

Vero put her phone down. She continued speaking in French, "La pratique a pris fin tôt pour James et Marc sera là dans cinq minutes. Mangez Alison!"
(The practice ended early so James and Marc will be here in five minutes. Eat up Alison!)
She caught herself quickly, I could tell she would have continued speaking. "Oh I'm sorry! Ah when I talk to Marc I speak in French so it's just a habit. I'm sorry. Anyway the practice ended early, they should be here in like five minutes. So finish quickly ma cherie!"

Pretty soon, a bus stopped in front of the little outdoor cafe, just as Vero and I split the bill and got our credit cards back. James came over to me and squeezed my hand. He whispered, "I know how you feel about this place, are you sure that this is what you want to do?"

I nodded. It's hard to see this place. Everything pretty much remains the same. This cafè isn't new, neither are any of the stores. I broke down crying when I saw that the little pizza place was still there. I used to eat there all the time with Patrick and our sisters.

The four of us climbed into the little car I was able to rent for today for a surprisingly cheap price. James let me take the wheel.

I pulled down our street, giving little fun facts about each house. We came down to the two little houses at the dead end.

My old house had no new additions. It was still blue just as we had left it. I looked in the windows and saw that the windown on the upper level to the left still had a streak of lime green on it. Katelynn and I were painting my room and accidentally gotten a little bit on the window. Apparently the new owners of the house had kept it. I looked at the mail box. It was the same black mail box that little black specks would come off on your hands every time you touched it. The number 47 was still right below it, and even the garden in the front was still sort of the same. The purple poinsettias still looked very healthy, along with the little pink and white pansies Katelynn and I had planted on one of our last months here. They have been coming back and thriving for twelve whole years. Even the old cobblestone pathway leading up to the door step was the same, covered in a light dusting of dirt from the unkept dirt that sat in the long, unruly gass that not even the new owners could keep under control.

I felt a tear slip down my face. James asked quietly, "Do you want to get out of the car? The house is up for sale, you can probably go up and sit on the steps, plus it doesn't look like anyone is home."

I nodded, and Vero, Marc and my fiance followed. I looked up at the basketball hoop that was even more broken than it was before. But it was still here. So was the log where I had sat with Patrick my last day here.

James held my hand and kissed my cheek as I looked up at the house I had lived in for the first twelve years of my life. And it looks exactly the same as it did before. Tears rolled down my cheeks.

I turned around to see Patrick's old house. It looked the same as it always did too. I name the rooms by window. Patrick had the upper right window, Erica had the middle left, Jacqueline's room was the one with the window that was on the side of thenhouse facing to the woodsy outdoors that went on when the street stopped. Jessica's was the upper left window and Mr. and Mrs.
Kane had the middle right.

Veronique hugged me and whispered in French to me. She sat me down on the log leaning against the basketball hoop, my two best friends and fiance all around me.

I saw another car coming down the street and I hid my head in my hands.

"Wait James.... Is that...?" Marc asked, not seeming to be able to spit out what he was thinking. James stood up to get a better look at the vehicle coming down the street and the person driving it.

A car door slammed and Another male voice said to Vero, "Let me try."

Vero spat with fire in her voice, hugging me tightly. "No way! She's my BEST FRIEND!"

The male voice just said, "Give me thirty seconds to try and calm her down and then you can kick my ass outta here."

I didn't look up as Vero left my side and the new person wrapped big strong arms around me as I sobbed. This is too much. Everything came back in little echoes before, and now there are screams.

I grapsed the arm of the man, and I looked up, knowing that there was one person in this world who calmed me down like that in seconds. I looked up, meeting his eyes.