If You Ever Come Back

Flashback - Alison - Age 12

As soon as I saw the new house, I knew life was going to be very, very different. Instead of chipping white paint on the outside there was sleek and new looking brown paint. There weren't falling shingles on the roof, instead they were perfectly aligned. There wasn't a woodsy outdoors to be seen for miles around here, just an urban area. The house was huge, and it cast a scary looking shadow, unlike the old house that was small and ramshakle looking. There was a lot of charm to the old house. This is just too big, and too new, and too different. There isn't anything charming about this place.

We had the best years of our lives in a charming little house. Why do we need this?

Dad put his hands on my shoulders, "Pretty, huh? Much better than our old one!"

I wanted to curl up in a ball and just cry. How could this be better? "Y- yeah it's great." I lied.

Dad saw right through me and just cheerfully said, "You'll warm up to it!"

Warm up to it? I highly doubt it. I closed my eyes so that my tears wouldn't spill over. What is this place? I lookef across the street, irrationally hoping that Patrick's house would be there. A tear slipped down my cheek when I saw the equally huge shadowy house that stood there.

*

Mom and Dad had set up an air mattress in the room that would one day be all mine. But it's not mine. The ghost of the person before me still claims it, and I know I'll never be fully comfortable. I wonder if someone will move into my house and feel thensame way about my room.

I clung to my red blanket and my Buffalo Sabres bear that Patrick had given me. I was only allowed to bring one thing with me in my suitcase besides clothes, and my bear was what I had chosen. Patrick had given it to me. I looked at it again, and more tears fell from my eyes. Oh Patrick, what am I going to do here without you?

I buried my head in the bear and cried until I had no more tears left to shed.

I thought about everything; there were so many things I should have said when I had the chance. I looked back on better days in Buffalo, they all seem so far away now. Even though I just left, I feel like I've been away forever. I just want to redo it. I want to relive my life there. I don't want my life there to end.

FLASHBACK - Patrick - Age 12

Across the street even looked different from my bedroom window. It looks empty, Ali's light isn't on. Neither is Katelynn. It feels quiet and shadowy and lonely.

I sighed and crawled underneath my covers. I looked on my shelf, it was empty too. My Buffalo Sabres bear had been my parting gift to Ali.

I looked out the window again, imagining Ali's face in hers when she waved good night to me every single night. I guess I have to learn to sleep without it. I wish i didn't need her. I wished for a split second that I didn't have all these great, unforgettable memories.

•Present Day•

I met James outside the arena. He smiled at me and gave me a huge hug. "Hey baby," He said. "You know you look so beautiful in that jersey."

I grinned and kissed him softly, "Great game tonight! You're not going out with the team?"

He shook his head, "No. We're in your hometown tonight, so whatever we do is your call."

This is a part of me that James has never seen before. The 12 years before Vancouver. He knows all my Canadien friends, Anabelle Wilson, Noelle and Carlie. Not in Buffalo. I suppose he knows Patrick, but he's never seen me break down about him. And I did end up breaking down today.

I nodded, remembering what Vero had said about James's new opinion on my old friend. "You know, there's this little pizza place I used to go to that's near where we were earlier today for lunch. It's called Claudia's. Man, I've probably been there over a thousand times, no joke."

James smiled and kissed the top of my head. "You're so cute, you know Alison."

I snuggled into his side as we walked out of the building and got to his car. "You played a great game tonight baby." I told him and a little smile played at his lips.

"Thanks. I love you." He leaned over and kissed my nose. "You're so amazing Ali, I just can't believe that you're all mine."

I contemplated what he said. "Well of course I'm all yours James! I wouldn't change that for the world!"

We reached Claudia's, and a whole youth hockey team piled out of the little joint. I was able to get a good look at the jerseys, and I realized they were the same as Patrick's 12 years ago. The middle school team's jerseys.

James said, "Did you come here with the hockey team? With Patrick?"

I swallowed and admitted, "Yes, all the time. James you have to understand that he was there for me when no one else was. My only friend here James. It was hard for me to be alone, especially here. So Patrick was my best friend. Nothing more. Okay?"

James nodded and looked down at the menu. "Yeah, I'm really sorry. I love you so much, it's hard for me to imagine you being all alone. The thought physically hurts me Alison."

I kissed him softly, "But I'm not alone. I have you, and I love you more than anything."

**** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

James and I ordered a pizza, half traditional cheese, and the other half white pizza with veggies and anchovies. "James, no offense, but that's disgusting." I said when he ordered. He just laughed.

He replied with, "But Alison, yours is just so boring! Traditional cheese? At least get white pizza!"

I smirked, "The white pizza isn't their specialty James. And when in Rome."

"We're not in Rome. We're in Buffalo."

I laughed at his literal comment. "I'm going to grab a soda." I said. There's a vending machiene in here too. I walked over and stood behind a tall woman with pretty and silky black hair. She got herself a Coke Zero.

She turned around and bumped into me, her icy colored crystal blue eyes filled with surprise and apology. She had dark eyeliner and a lot or mascara. She looked me over for a while and then said, "Okay this is going to sound really strange, but are you b any chance Alison Lees?"

My whole body froze and suddenly a million things happened at the exact same time.