Broken Roads and Lonely Hearts

I sat quietly as I drew the mysterious boy that sat at the table across from me. He sat alone, like I did. But unlike me, he was eating his lunch humming a tune. I couldn't put a name to it even though it sounded familiar.

It was a wonder how I could hear him with everyone talking around her. It was my first day of school in October and I had yet to talk to anybody besides the teachers that always embarrassed the new kid by telling the class to welcome them.

I moved a lot. Maybe a new school every year and a half. I lived with her step-mom. My birth mother was an alcoholic that would always beat me when I came home from school every night. And my father, well he passed away in a motorcycle crash.

I shivered at that thought. It was snowing that night and I warned him it was dangerous but he said he would be back. Of course he didn't come back, it wouldn't take ten months to come back. I tried to take the sourness out of my thoughts and went back to drawing the boy when I noticed he was watching me.

I quickly dropped her eyes and picked at my salad with my spork. I took a sip of I water self consciously. I didn't like eating but I didn't want to seem like a freak to the boy. I looked up to see if he went back to his food when I looked straight into his eyes that were two feet in front of me.

I leaned up straighter and he chuckled. The boy looked down at my drawing pad and studied it. I felt herself start to blush. He looked at me again.

"You're really good," he mumbled. "You're also really pretty." He noticed my reddening cheeks and smiled. "Do you talk?" he asked me. I just stared at him.

After what seemed like an hour I finally said something. "Thank you," I said shakily. "I think you're wrong about me being pretty though."

"I know I'm right," he stated. "I like the colors. Blonde with deep purple is hard to pull off." He continued to look at my hair.

It wasn't anything special. I had blonde hair that went just past my chin. I had bangs and half of my hair and bangs were dyed purple. My bangs covered basically the whole of my eyes, but it wasn't that hard to see. I had large framed glasses that I thought made me look even more unattractive than I already was.

The one thing I was most fascinated with the boy though was he eyes. They were the most beautiful green I had ever seen, much more beautiful than my ocean blue ones.

The boy pulled on his hair a bit as he took a seat across from me. "I'm Billie Joe," he said. I just looked at his eyes and I knew he was looking into mine. I stopped because he probably thought I was freak just like everyone else did.

"Hi Billie Joe," I whispered. I could've sworn that I heard him laugh. "I'm Katie."

"Hi Katie," Billie Joe said, mocking my voice perfectly. I felt myself punch him in the shoulder and he grinned. "What grade are you in Katie?"

"I'm a sophomore." I really hoped he wasn't older than me because I didn't want to look like a dumbass.

"You look older. I'm a junior." I cursed under my breath and he cracked his knuckles. "How's your first day going?"

I sighed. I hated answering these questions. "It sucks. I hate it here. I just wish I could move back to Oregon with my dad-" my breath stopped and I froze.

I felt the mood change in the air. "Where is your dad Katie?" Billie Joe asked me sharply.

"He died."

"That's what I thought."

I couldn't see straight anymore. My vision was blurring and everything started to go black. The cafeteria changed and I was in my front yard with my dad. He was kissing my head and telling me he just needed to get my birthday present. He said he would be back. I watched him drive off, the December snow hitting my bare legs and arms as I smiled watching him drive off.

The cafeteria came back and I saw that Billie Joe was shaking me slowly. I felt that my face was wet and I felt and looked stupid. I looked like a crybaby to him.

"I'm sorry," I choked out.

Billie Joe put a finger to my lips. "You don't need to be sorry," he whispered in my ear. I felt chills go up my spine. I choked back tears. "It's okay. I know how you feel." He continued whispering in my ear when I stopped him.

"How do you fucking know how I feel?" I shouted at him, pushing him away from me, his hands leaving my waist. "Do you think this is just a game? Are you trying to make me vulnerable so you can just have sex with me? Because that isn't going to happen." I stood up and started reaching for my backpack when Billie Joe stopped me.

"Let me explain," he begged. I stared at him, waiting for him to continue. "Okay. So basically when I was ten my dad died. I don't like to talk about it. And I don't want to have sex with you." Billie Joe flinched. "I mean, you are a really beautiful girl and you seem like a nice person, but I don't have sex with girls I just met. Not every guy is an asshole."

I raised my eyebrows and giggled. Billie Joe looked confused. "Billie Joe, why are you even talking to a weirdo like me?"

"Because I'm a weirdo too. Oh and you can just call me Billie. It's usually easier for most people to do that."

"Okay." I couldn't think of anything else to say. I was just looking at Billie. And he was looking at me. Maybe this was what it was like to have a crush on a boy. I'd never had crushes, I thought they were ridiculous and that they ended no where. I only to date someone I would be forever with. I didn't want to be in a thousand relationships and have sex a million times. I knew I was asking a lot of that. But maybe if I stopped that for a little while and tried to start something with Billie I would be happier.

Who was I kidding, there's no way he would go out with me. No one would want a wreck like me. He would just laugh and walk away if he knew me.

"What are you thinking about Katie?" Billie asked softly.

"Everything."

"I'm thinking about everything as well."

"Yeah. Why are you talking to me." I looked into Billie's eyes. "I mean nothing to you. You don't know me. You don't care."

Billie sighed. He grabbed my hand and held it. I stiffened and pulled back. I felt his eyes digging into my wrists and I got uncomfortable. "Because you feel pain, and I feel similar pain. I know that they're different but I can relate to you Katie. I really can. And I don't have any friends really, and I just wanted to make a new one."

"But I'm a girl."

Billie laughed. "So?"

"Guys don't want to be just friends with girls. They always want something more. Unless they're gay."

"That's not always bad, wanting something more. Sometimes it's meant to be. But there also isn't anything wrong with being gay either."

"You're right. Are you gay?" I felt I shouldn't be asking, but I smiled a bit so he wouldn't think I was being rude.

"Bisexual."

"Me too."

"You like girls?" Billie tilted his head to the side.

"No. I like giraffes."

Billie laughed again. "I like you Katie. You have a good sense of humor." He looked at the clock behind me. "The bell is going to ring in a minute. But I was wondering if maybe you wouldn't mind hanging out with me after school? We can go to yours or mine, I don't really care."

I smiled, a true genuine smile. "Yeah. I would like that."

Billie smiled back and stood up. "Great. I'll be sitting on the bench in front of the school. I won't be hard to miss."

The bell rang and I waited for it to stop for me to speak again. "I'll be there. See you later Billie Joe."

As I started walking off I grinned and held the straps of my backpack close and tight together. I could've sworn I skipped for a second. Maybe I did have a thing for Billie Joe. And I knew that wasn't a bad thing. And today was the first day where a boy took over all of my thoughts in class.