Broken Roads and Lonely Hearts

I think Billie could tell I wanted him. "Katie, it's okay," he whispered. "How old are you?"

I didn't know why he wanted to know my age. "Fifthteen," I whispered back.

"I'm sixteen. I'm turning seventeen in four months. If the vibe I'm getting from you is correct, you want me. Maybe you're confused. I can tell you've never dealt with this kind of thing before. Maybe I'm insane and thinking you like me. Even though today is the first day we met I wouldn't mind being with you." Billie sighed. "I should shut up sorry."

"Don't be sorry. It's okay. I like you Billie Joe. I've never liked anyone before. I just don't want to go to fast."

"Said every girl in the world. It never works like that. Things go way too fast usually." I giggled and he smiled. His face was a couple inches closer than before. "I can wait to kiss you Katie. I will wait as long as I have to y'know."

I blinked slowly and thought if I should let him kiss me. I wasn't sure. But, I decided to take a chance. I knew I might regret it later, but maybe it was best to wait. I leaned in and kissed Billie's cheek. He smiled softly.

"I can wait too," I whispered. I sighed and looked into Billie's gorgeous green eyes. "How many people have you dated?"

"Not that many actually. Only a few. Lily, Beth, Amanda, Summer, and Vaughn. Vaughn is the only guy I've dated. He and I didn't last long because he was on the football team. His father found us together and beat him and kicked me out. Vaughn broke up with me shortly after that. I didn't blame him, I would've ruined his football career if anyone found out about us. That's why I quit the team."

I could see Billie's eyes watering. I held Billie gently. He closed his eyes. "You still love him don't you?"

"Well I love each and every one of them. But he was special. He got me out of drugs. Then he left me and I got worse." He sighed. "I'm trying to recover. Sorry I open up so much. It's a habit." Billie looked at me and I said it was okay.

"I understand," I whispered. "There's always that one love that sticks, even if I haven't been in love before."

"Yeah. I mean, all of them are still in my heart. Lily always complained about being named after a flower. I bought her lilies once and she burnt my dinner. Then I threw a bowl at her and told her she was a dog." Billie laughed to himself. "We made out on the couch after that. I was fourteen when I dated her.

"Same with Beth. Beth was really out there, that's what attracted me most to her. She had this flair. She was popular but she stood out. She liked these heavy metal bands even I didn't know. Blonde hair and black lips was her motto. She and I used to get high every weekend. I almost had sex with her, but I caught her with her drug dealer and got out of that mess. She was fun though."

I listened to every word Billie had to say. I liked listening about his past life. It sounded really fun.

"Summer was pretty chill. Just a typical girlfriend. She came to my band practices and kissed me to keep me happy. We only lasted a few weeks. She seemed really hurt when I broke up with her but she moved on to another guy the next day."

I wondered if I would be another story Billie would tell his next girlfriends. I wasn't sure how I thought about that. "What about Amanda?" I realized that he had forgot to mention her. But seeing Billie's reaction to her name I saw he didn't forget.

"We broke each others hearts. She was the first person I had ever slept with. We dated for six months. She loved me, but she had been cheating on me the whole time. I still wonder if I was a joke to her. She killed herself a month after we broke up." This time Billie didn't hold back the tears. "I know I was the one that killed her."

I wasn't sure what to do so I just held him. He held me back and we just sat there, holding each other.

A few minutes later Billie calmed down and wiped his eyes. He stood up and walked to his mirror. He grabbed a picture and handed it to me. "That's Amanda."

I looked at the picture. It was Billie and Amanda smiling. She was holding coffee. Even though the picture was in black and white, I could tell she was blonde. Billie had a thing for blondes it seemed. Amanda was really pretty. Her messy ponytail with her crooked smile made her look really attractive. I handed the picture back to Billie and he put it back on his mirror.

"She's really pretty," I said.

"Yeah I know."

"I'm sorry Billie."

"Don't be." Billie looked at me. "Let's go make brownies." He grabbed my hand and walked me out of his room into his kitchen. I sat down in a chair and watched him bake. I laughed quietly because he could bake and I could barely make toast without burning the house down.

Billie sat in a chair next to me and smiled at me. "Won't your mother wonder where you are?"

"My stepmom. And no she won't. She cares about me more than my mother ever did but she knows I like walking out late. She won't start worrying until about this time tomorrow. What about yours?"

"My mom works late. She has to to support her, me, and Mike." He paused. "Mike is my best friend. I don't think I've mentioned him yet. He's a good guy. He's working right now too."

"Why don't you have a job?" I asked him.

"Because I masturbate all day," Billie said with a serious tone. I laughed loudly and he laughed back.

That's how it was until the brownies were ready. We just talked and laughed like we've known each other for years. Billie got up when the oven dinged and pulled out the brownies. He grabbed a blue plate and cut equal pieces onto it.

When he brought the plate over, I was surprised at how perfect the cuts were. When I took a bite from one, I thought I went to heaven. It was the most delicious brownie ever.

"This is amazing," I said. Billie laughed and handed me a glass of milk he had poured. I took a sip the same time Billie did.

He had a trail of milk above his lips that he had purposefully put there. "Hey partner, it's against the law to have so much fun eating those brownies you got there," he said with a thick western accent.

He pulled me out of my chair and threw me over his shoulder. "I believe you're gonna have to go to jail miss." I squeaked when he threw me on his couch and started tickling me. He laid on me, squishing me, and I kept poking him.

I stopped struggling after a moment. It was quiet. I mooed loudly. Billie laughed and slipped off the couch, dragging me with him.

"Did you just moo?" I didn't hear him because his arms were around me. I was extremely close to him. I nodded when he asked the question again. Billie sat up, he arms still around me. He leaned in to kiss me when the front door opened. He pulled back and I turned around.

The boy at the door was tall and lanky, with hair similar to Billie's. Billie walked up to the boy and hugged him. "Katie, this is mike. Mike, this is Katie." I stood up and waved slowly at Mike. He smiled and held his hand out. I walked up to him and shook it.

"Nice to meet you Katie. I'm Mike Dirnt."

"Katie Armstrong."

Billie looked at me. "Your last name is Armstrong?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well that just happens to be Billie's last name."

I felt myself blushing and I don't even know why. I realized I was still shaking Mike's hand so I dropped it.

"How did you and Billie meet Katie?"

"She was drawing me in the cafeteria," Billie answered for me. "It's really accurate and amazing. Katie you should show him."

I nodded and went to grab my backpack. I opened it up and grabbed my sketchbook and turned to the page with Billie on it. I handed it to Mike. He studied it for a second.

"Would you be willing to draw me sometime?" Mike asked me, still looking at the drawing.

I smiled. "Yeah. I can do that."

Mike handed my sketchbook back and I put it away. "I'd like that."

I noticed Billie wasn't in the room. Then I saw him behind Mike. He grabbed Mike's neck and shoved a brownie in his mouth. It took him a second to chew and swallow it.

"Not another batch Billie," Mike shook his head, smiling. "Maybe cook some carrots or something. Not brownies everyday."

"I like brownies."

"Well they aren't good for you."

"Mike you're not my mother." Billie walked over to me and poked my stomach. I squeaked and sneezed. He laughed. "What time is it Mike?"

"Almost seven."

I didn't know so much time had passed. I had spent basically four hours at Billie's house. He smiled softly at me.

"C'mon. Let's get you home. It's a little late for you to be walking home alone." He went to the plate of brownies and put them in a container. He handed the container to me. "I figured you might want these."

I smiled and took them. "Oh Billie you don't have to do this."

"It's my pleasure." I smiled and put them away.

"Thank you Billie." I grabbed his hand and he led me out the door. I waved goodbye to Mike. Then Billie and I walked the twenty minutes to my house.

When we reached my front door he kiss my hand softly. "Good night Katie," he said.

"Good night Billie Joe," I said as I kissed his cheek. He stood there until I closed the door. I walked to my window and watched him walk away, smiling to myself. When he was no longer in sight, I closed the curtain and turned around. I walked straight into my stepmother, Nicole.

"Hi Nicole," I said softly. "I'm sorry I was out so late."

"I'm not worried about that," she said. "I'm worried about that boy. Your first day and you're already in love."

"I'm not in love with him."

She sighed. "Not yet but you will be. I'm friends with his mother by the way. And I know his friend Mike. His name is Billie right?"

"Yeah."

Nicole nodded. "I went to high school with Billie's mother. She's a nice gal. I think, knowing her, you would break Billie's heart way before he could break yours. So just be careful."

"I'm not going to break his heart."

"You say that now. But just wait." Nicole walked away and I stormed up to my bedroom and slammed the door. Nicole had no idea what she was talking about. I wouldn't break his heart. We weren't even really together. I went to bed, trying to forget what Nicole had said.