Broken Roads and Lonely Hearts

It had been a couple months since I met Billie and Mike. The three of us all hung out at the table I sat at my first day. We hung there before school and during lunch. Mike and Billie always walked to school together and they would always walk by my house and drag me along.

Even though neither one of us was popular, a lot of people had found out about Billie and I. I didn't think it was a big deal, people started dating all the time, but to them it was huge. I kept getting strange looks in class and I just wished I could lock myself in a bathroom stall for the period.

Billie told me not to worry, saying that they would stop caring after a couple weeks. I believed him and hope that would be the case.

Mike was like a brother to me. I had no siblings, and he was as close to one as I could get. He also acted like a mother, always trying to get me and Billie to eat our vegetables and to lay off the brownies. We of course had no intention on listening to him.

Mike played bass and Billie played guitar and sang. And boy, did Billie have a voice. It was better than anything I've ever heard. It was Billie's dream to start a band, but they didn't have enough money to get started or a drummer.

I told them that someday they would be a band everyone would know. Billie smiled and kissed my nose when I said that. I knew he didn't believe it, he probably thought I was silly for believing that. I didn't care.

"Katie come up with some lyrics," Billie told me, strumming his guitar quietly. I thought for a moment.

"I'm so tired. I don't want your sympathy. I don't want your honesty. It's only in my head." I wrote the lyrics down as I spoke them.

Billie laughed. "Sweetie, what am I, 40? I need lyrics that are more upbeat."

"Those are pretty upbeat lyrics in my opinion Billie."

"I guess but it doesn't mean anything to anyone. Don't be sad angel blue." Billie tilted my chin up. "I'm sorry. Don't take it to heart please."

"I know. I've got new ones. 'I throw away my past mistakes and contemplate my future. That's when I say what the hey. Would it last forever, you and I together, hand in hand, we run away.'" I wrote those lyrics below the other ones.

When I looked up at Billie he was grinning. "Now those I can work with. Mike, what do you think?"

"I like them a lot," Mike said.

"It's kinda romantic," Billie stated. "I don't know how to write love songs."

"Just be like, 'I wanna get inside of you and make you scream.' That's romantic."

Billie and I both stared at Mike. "How about we never have that in a song. Ever. Mike, how the hell is that romantic?"

"Pick up line I guess. I don't know. It sounded better in my head."

"Of course it did. Hey Katie guess what?"

"What?" I looked at Billie. He was always smiling. I loved his smiling.

"I'm gonna write you a love song. It's gonna be called 'At The Library.'"

"Why is the song about a library?"

"Oh the song isn't about one, I just want the title to be named about one."

"You're so freaking weird."

"Freaking? Do you not swear?" Billie laughed and I punched his shoulder.

"No, not really. On occasion."

"Dickhead fuckface cocksmoking mother fucking asshole dirty twat waste of semen. Did I swear enough for you hun?"

"It's normal hearing it from you."

Billie pretended to look offended. "Wow. Really now." Billie took one of Mike's carrots and put it in my shirt. It fell in my bra and I glared at Billie. "Now you have to get it out. Go on, reach in and grab it."

"MY CARROT!" Mike shouted at Billie. "That was my last carrot! You ate my last carrot you asshole."

"Eat your hamburger, bunny."

Mike picked at his burger, mumbling about his carrot. Billie looked at my shirt. "Can I get it?"

I turned my head slightly and giggled. I know I should just quickly grab it out but it would be harmless touching if he got it. "Sure. Go on ahead."

Billie scooted closer to me and turned me so my back was to his chest. Then he set his hand on my waist and moved up my torso until he got to my bra. He pawed playfully at it and I arched, getting ticklish. He finally got the carrot but kept his hand on my breast.

I felt him start to kiss my neck and I closed my eyes and sighed. Mike grunted and we separated. I straightened my shirt and Billie threw the carrot at Mike.

"Eww that's a boob carrot!" Mike squealed.

Billie and I laughed. He had his arm around my waist. "Just a boob calm down. I know you're not gay," Billie laughed again.

"Yeah. Even you can't change me."

"Oh Katie you need to hear this. I kissed Mike once and he kissed back. And the boy claims he's straight."

Mike looked at me. "I am straight but he is a really good kisser. Besides, I was half asleep. He laid on top of me when I was sleeping. He tried to get me to sleep with him."

Billie snorted. "No no. I didn't want sex. I wanted a blowjob."

"Same damn thing. Blowjobs are gross. They feel weird."

"Blowjobs are amazing okay. I enjoy it, gay man."

"I'm not gay!" Mike took a sip of his water.

"Uhm Billie, what's a blowjob?" I whispered to Billie. He laughed loudly and Mike overheard and spit out his water. "What? Why is that so funny?"

"Do you know what oral sex is?" Billie asked me. I shook my head. He sighed with a smile. "Well. A blowjob is when a guy or girls sucks a dudes dick basically."

I made a face. "That's gross though."

"Not really. Same for a girl. A girl or guy licks a girl between her legs, also known as eating her out or going down on her. I'm sure you would like that."

"But isn't that where we pee? How is that pleasureable?" Mike was dying of laughter and I tried to ignore him.

"It just is. Trust me."

"Will you show me?"

"Maybe not now. But soon. Give us a few months."

"Okay Billie. I'm sorry."

Billie's face dropped. "Why are you sorry?"

"Because I don't know anything about sex. I must seem like an idiot to you."

"It's okay. I can teach you. We all have to learn from somewhere. You've never masturbated have you? Yet you know what it means because of my joke a few weeks back."

"Yeah I know what it is. I don't know how to do it though."

"Just touch yourself. Try it tonight. Masturbating can show you when you get the most turned on at and if I know those spots I can make you the happiest girl in the world." Billie kissed my nose.

I looked at where Mike sat and noticed he was gone. He must have gotten disturbed by our conversation. For a second I felt bad.

"Why haven't you kissed me yet?" I asked Billie.

"Because it needs to be in private and I want it to be really special. I promise I will kiss you soon. You just need patience. As do I. And I've always rushed things and I don't want to do that with you."

I smiled and held Billie's hand. "I liked it when you kissed my neck. It made me feel something I've never felt before. My stomach was tingling."

Billie smiled and lowered his lips to my neck. He pulled away shortly after. "You should come over tomorrow. I'm busy tonight, even though it's a Friday."

"Yeah I'll be over."

"Great. I have a question. When's your birthday?"

"Christmas Eve. Why?"

"Because I should know. That's soon. It's November now. I'm gonna have to get you a huge gift."

"Oh you don't have to get me anything Billie. That's too much."

"I already know what it's going to be though. And I'm sure you'll love it."

I continued to try to talk Billie out of getting me anything when the bell ring. He walked me to class and I watched him go. I already missed him. Love was a weird thing.